Web Journal Of Red Pill Coyote - April 28, 2022

GUESSSSSSS WHHHHOOOO HAS THE MILD TYPE OF CANCERRRRRRR THAT'S EASY TO TREAAAAT!? That's right... My mommy. Lol. Yeah, she went to the doctor's yesterday and it turns out she has the basal cell type and it's not going to force her to have a date with the Grim Reaper. So yeah, in terms of that, everything is on a comfortable cloud. Just got done giving Meadow a one hour walk. Ummm... Honestly, not a whole lot has been happening outside of that...

I've been running around in my underwear at the cemetery. The reason why I do this is that I'm role-playing as a "NPC glitch". I went up to Wal-Mart one day and everything seemed unremarkable at first.. I bought a box of Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew BUT as I was about to exit, the door greeter was telling me that I needed to show her my receipt. I just looked at her and barked in her face just like a dog or cynocephali and left as she was yelling at me. Look, I know I bought that crate WITH MY MONEY. I don't need anyone telling me that I need to stand and wait to get evaluated because I know I'm not doing anything illegal. It's asinine. But yeah, I brought it home and poured a bunch of that Flamin' Hot mountain dew into my eyes for a comedy video to prove that MOUNTAIN DEW IN GENERAL is bad for you.. And I continued with blowing snot out of my nose and licked it up because it was that spicy to my irises that it was producing mucus. The next day, I went into the back alley and just smashed the cans until they were spraying scarlet. AND I DON'T WANT PEOPLE THINKING I WAS LITTERING BECAUSE I DID THROW THE SODA CANS AWAY INTO A TRASH CAN WHEN I WAS DONE! And I accidentally cut my finger while doing it.. Another day while I was at the store, I saw Bobby and I took one my shoes off and began using it as a phone. As if he had telepathic powers to call me with my shoes.. And I was talking to him through that. He didn't seem to particularly find it funny. I don't think... That was the point. Just to give birth to a Jack in the box and make him laugh... but he didn't laugh. Hahaha... Idk. I guess some ideas are funnier when you think about them. More so than the execution.. Although, mainly I've just been stuck on an ice glacier... Not too many people outside of silly a*s Facebook to interact with... Lonely... 

I hate to admit it but right now, I feel like I'm "head over heels"(Like that Tears For Fears song) when it comes to Alessandra. I get it that she friend zoned me but there's clearly a grandiose magnetic energy between us. Just the other day, she was telling me that she missed me and saying I was the only person who understood her and stuff. I mean, it KILLS me that we can't be romantically together because I know we'd make a cute couple. I would love to continuously hold her hand like I did at Turkey Creek Lake. It's funny because this one girl added me on FB and messaged me after seeing me on a dating site but I feel like Alessandra is truly my humanoid key. She's like the 80's, 90's and 2000's rolled into one fantastic girl. She once told me that she has really stinky silent but deadly farts and I just wanna say this.. ANYBODY who's ever got to even take a whiff of Alessandra's farts is a very lucky creature. I feel like her flatulence would create such a romantically mystical atmosphere of sentimental proportions... I haven't felt this way about a girl in years. I feel like she is the type of girl who I can kiss in a wholesome way without any sex like I've fantasized about for years.