Web Journal Of Red Pill Coyote - September 10, 2022

Why aren't you the animal smashing prunes into my eye sockets? Hey... It's been about 3 weeks since I last typed on here. I MISSED YOU! Um... Well, I think it was August 22nd, me and my nephew Jacob went up to Ashland, Kentucky to see Weird Al perform. I've been a Weird Al lemming since I was a preteen, so this was certainly a mystical strawberry big cake.. In fact, I think Weird Al was my 2nd introduction to something Tiffany connected. "I THINK I'M A CLONE NOW! THERE'S ALWAYS TWO OF ME JUST A HANGING AROUND!". But yeah by the time we got to Ashland, we still had some time to murder, so we went over to the mall. I met up with Mary and I put on a show for her where I puked out a dead mouse at FYE. It was a way to show how to always give birth to something even if you don't know how it's going to turn out... THEN a couple minutes later, Mary told me to hold my hands out and she spit out this miniature baby doll into my hand. I FREAKING LOVED IT! That was her way of giving birth. I put the plastic baby in my mouth and I yelled "MMMM! TASTES LIKE MARY (Please Insert Anonymous Surname here)!" and we both laughed as Jack in the boxes with souls. One of my favorite mall memories..

Then me and Jacob went over to the Paramount Theater and he made me discard the dead mouse near a tree.. Oh Skunk Ape milk... But yeah. It was definitely one of the best concerts I've been to.. I mean Tiffany will always be the ultimate platinum statue but Weird Al is definitely the second best. My favorite was his Craigslist song. LOVED IT! BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT it gave me Covid-19. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's right and it improved my life. I loved my Coronavirus. It made me feel like I was swimming in an interdimensional bubble. I also had tons of visions like Jesus riding on a flying saucer and Alessandra turning into a giant lavender dragon. I've had multiple visions through out the years.. Like one day I just closed my eyes and I seen dark magician Aleister Crowley on a road made out of rocks pleading to God on his torso as a background redneck says "WELL CLETUS! THERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERYDAY!". Also while I was sick, I heard a bronze voice say "IT'S TIME FOR HIM TO GO, ACCORDING TO THE BIBLICAL WATCH". Not for sure what that voice meant by that.. It could be referring to my dad or someone like James Alefantis... Very vague. Brain is lost in the dunes with the flying saucers of Egypt... 

It's funny because right before I got sick, Alessandra was like FOR SURE going to come down here and live with us. And she was going to by my girlfriend as we dance through out the mall and create our own kingdom filled with cryptids and mystical creatures along with the children of Pizzagate and Elsagate.. Gotta save em all. We were even doing a webcam session telling each other how much we love each other, need each other and kissing the camera. Her face was just raining how her family rejects her and such... I gotta copy and paste a status of mine on here... I want and need Alessandra as much as she wants and needs me...

I guess I truly am the ultimate jester fool for thinking I could find the amethyst at the end of the cavern... She was going to be my ticket to Heaven's circus but here I am lost in the desert made out of never ending garbage and trash that tickles me in a goblin fashion...

She's everything I wanted and needed in a lot of ways. She has the childhood running through the veins, so it's an affectionate voodoo affect. She's made out of the Butterfly people's candy and sweets but it was all too good to be true... I am super glued right here and she is super glued other there..

Thank you Scioto County for making everything so f*****g hopeless. I just wanna say f**k all the creatures around my age who refused to include me. F**k all my parents' friends(Or just a lot of the local old farts in general) who treated me like I didn't exist until you had an issue with me. And f**k all the establishments who treated me like I couldn't do anything with my life. F**k Scioto County in general.

As for comedy videos.. I took a piece of paper, drowned it in my toilet bowl and slapped it on my face as my mouth chomped it away.. I did another video where I put dog poop up my butt and pushed it out to show how the cynocephali spirit is coming through... Then a few days ago, I did a roleplay video where there was a reptilian and fallen angel invasion and to protect my "fans", I shoved the phone/camera up my butt to hide them away...