Skin Deep

The first chapter, introducing the main characters.

"Ouch! Oh, F**k... Ouch!" Aubrey yelped as she struggled to pry the glass splinter from her heel. "Why the hell did I have to have cereal this morning? Goddamn glass bowls... I'm going to be late!" Tears of frustration and discomfort streamed down her cheeks. "Ugh, f**k this s**t." she growled, limping out of her kitchen and climbing up the cream carpeted staircase toward her bedroom. 

            Slamming her door shut, she glanced at the alarm clock on her black dresser. "It's 6:30 already? Crap!" Her bus was coming in 15 minutes, and she still had to apply her make up and get dressed.

            She quickly untied her black robe and slid it off of her shoulders, letting it drop around her ankles. Although she was in a rush, she couldn't resist staring at her body in the long, narrow mirror hanging on her door. With the black and white striped walls and her Yamaha acoustic guitar in the background, she absentmindedly pulled at the skin below her chin while examining her 5ft 6 1/2inch figure.

            Collar bones poking out? Check. Ribs at least somewhat showing? Check. Calf muscles defined when I'm standing on tippy-toes? Check. Flat stomach? Well, you did eat a cup of Fiber One and almond milk, but I guess check. Thigh gap? Ha-ha, of course not. Cellulite on my butt and thighs? Definitely, check. Stretch marks on my hips. F*****g, check. Skinny enough? When will I ever say check?

            The end of March was a menacing child, poking the nape of her neck with a stick and stepping on the back of her ankles as each day passed, and she was nowhere near her weight loss goal. 135 was the ideal number to the world around her. To her doctor. To her therapist. To her mother. To her father. To her brother. To her classmates. To Andrew. To Erick. To Cassie. To Sandra. 

            To everyone except her. 

            Is 125 so much to ask for? Just ten more pounds... She sighed, daydreaming about a care free summer with her friends. Pool parties at Cassie's. Bonfires at Andrew's. 'Girls' night outs' with Erick. Sleepovers at Sandra's. Laughing, dancing, frolicking, and just living life as a young, wild, and fun adolescent. The cherry on top? She would be skinny and confident while doing all of these things. 

            But will that even happen at this rate? Still analyzing herself, she spread her legs so that her thighs were no longer touching, but was jerked back into reality by the stabbing pain in her right heel. Wincing, she wiggled on a pair of black holey skinny jeans she folded on her bed the night before. She then threw on a black camisole and a red Nirvana T-shirt with Kurt Cobain's famous white sunglasses printed on the front. Yanking on her black converse quickly to avoid any more pain, she sang 'All Apologies' to herself, and belted out the line, "Everyone is gay!", shamelessly. Her father already pulled out of the driveway, and if there was anything she felt the need to hide from society, her sexuality was definitely not on the list.

            "D****t, Aubrey! You couldn't have cleaned up the glass?" her mother yelled from the kitchen. 

            "Sorry! Kind of in a rush, if you didn't notice!" she replied while making her way to the bathroom by her room, nearly laughing at her mother's agitation. She looked in the foggy mirror, running her fingers through her damp, coppery brown streaked black curls, smirking. That's what you get for making me eat. Without a second thought, she made sure her colorful rubber bracelets were in place on each wrist, properly covering the angry red lacerations from the night before. She then pulled at her 0g stretched ears and shoved in two black silicone eyelets. Afterward, she stealthily applied her usual cat eye with her liquid liner brush, content with how dark and edgy she appeared. The way it made her crystal blue eyes pop was electrifying, and it meshed well with her caramel skin. She thought it brought out her inner rock star, and she loved the thrill. 

            "Are you almost done? I need to take a piss." her brother barged in, interrupting her reverie. 

            "Christ! TMI, Ritchie!" she groaned. Quickly applying her cherry red lip stick, she rolled her eyes at her younger brother. How can a 15 year old boy care so little about his appearance? Doesn't he care at all about actually getting a girlfriend? She only glanced at the usual unkempt mop of red hair on his head, the faint underdeveloped mustache above his thin lips, and the spots of acne that were, fortunately, less prominent among the hundreds of freckles on his unwashed face. His 'Halo 2' shirt was spotted with Chef Boyardee ravioli stains, and she could smell his putrid breath even as she attempted to scurry by.

            "Ugh, when was the last time you took a shower?" she muttered, twisting her lips in disgust. He stuck his tongue out at her back, and slammed the bathroom door shut.

            She hastened into her bedroom, ignoring the splinter, and tossed her red and black paint-splatter printed book bag onto her back. The way those two colors complemented each other intrigued her.

            Ambling down the staircase, she looked over into the kitchen to see her mother sweeping the shards of glass up from the brown and grey stone tiled floor. Her black wavy hair was pulled back into a make-shift pony tail, and her pear-shaped figure was draped in a pink robe. Her tan cheeks were reddened by the effort of bending over and maneuvering the broom, and the worry line between her brows became prominent, accentuating the reality of her approaching middle age. 

            The aroma of French vanilla coffee overtook Aubrey, and she couldn't resist taking a sip from her mother’s mug that was sitting on the circular, wooden table.

            Her mother noticed and offered, "You can pour yourself a glass, if you want. There's a bit leftover. Your dad already left for work." She pointed to the white coffee maker between the stainless steel sink and matching toaster.

            "No thanks." she declined. I don't need any more extra calories.  

            Her mother sighed, dumping the swept up glass into the trashcan at the end of the square, marble, wrap-around counter equipped with the sink, dishwasher, and oven . Aubrey walked over to her stainless steel fridge and grabbed the brown lunch bag that her mother packed for her.

            "I love you, mom, thanks." she said. They exchanged pecks to the cheek, and then Aubrey turned and dashed towards the front door, yanking it open. Finally, it’s warm outside!

            "Have a nice day, sweetie! Remember, your appointment is at 4 o'clock today." she called after Aubrey. 

            "Okay." she groaned. F*****g lovely. While jogging off of her sidewalk, down her hilly street, and making her way towards her bus stop, she seemed to forget entirely about the splinter in her foot. As her shoes pitter-pattered down the sidewalk, and the scenery of the woods surrounding her whistled by like a 3D water color of splashing yellows and greens, she became mesmerized by the fading pink sunrise in the distance. She wished she could stop and admire the beauty of it for a moment, but there was only a minute left before her bus usually arrived, and she had no intention of burdening her mother with taking her to school.

            Just as she arrived at the stop sign at the end of her street, the blustering engine of bus #69 approached. Right on time! She grinned, huffing and puffing. 

            The typical Monday morning quiet blanketed the bus full of groggy, hung-over, and grouchy teenagers as she made her way to her spot on the fourth seat to the right. Unzipping her bag, she pulled out her iPhone, inserted the twisted up Skull Candy headphones into her ears, and listened to her favorite playlist. It consisted of System of a Down, Nirvana, AFI, My Chemical Romance, Escape the Fate, Dance Gavin Dance, and Alesana, among many other bands. The song, 'Chop Suey', blasted on, and she wished she was in her room head banging until her head unscrewed from her neck.

            Gazing out of the window, her eyes chased the trees as they raced by in the cluttered woods. Tree, after tree, after tree, after tree. The monotony of Pennsylvania's woods and hills grew tiresome for Aubrey long ago. She yearned for the never ending excitement and night life of New York City. Her heart ached to be able to go for midnight walks in the middle of Manhattan, just for the hell of it. To have the ability to jog around with a good chum every warm sunny afternoon in Central Park. She'd absolutely die for the chance to raise hell at the pride parade going on right down the street. Who ever said they wanted to be surrounded by boring woods,  and Amish farmland 24/7? For Aubrey, Moving to the big city would be a major breath of fresh air from such a humdrum atmosphere. 

            Lost in thought during the ten minute ride, she jolted once the bus finally pulled up to Belleview Senior High School. Here goes nothing. Let's put on a smile for 'em. 

            Each time she climbed up the cement stairs of Belleview, she felt as though a gigantic weight was lifted off of her shoulders. There was no need to keep her attraction to women 'to a minimum', because her conservative father was not within earshot. She could escape from the pressure of having to avoid making her mother burst into tears every time she'd refuse to shove a sandwich down her throat. None of her friends, (with the exception of Sandra) new about her problem, and nobody questioned that she simply 'wasn't hungry' at lunchtime. Food suddenly became an option, no longer a necessity. She could feel light and silly and wild and crazy and gay without any care in the world except homework. She could unleash the Aubrey that whimpered and scraped at the cage her family trapped her in. The authentic Aubrey could finally scamper about freely in this wondrous jungle called high school. 

            As she shoved through the crowded entrance doors, she spotted her favorite four people congregating in their usual area by the trophy cases. Erick looked over, waving excitedly, and the other three followed suit. Aubrey began skipping toward them in mock slow-motion with a moronic open mouth smile across her face, making them burst out in laughter.

            “What’s up, dyke?” Erick greeted her playfully, flinging his hands in a feminine motion.

            “Nothing much, queer!” She giggled, tugging at his blue and grey plaid scarf. “I love your outfit. And your hair is looking gorgeous today, as usual.” Erick was the definition of hip and fabulous. His thick dirty-blonde hair was pointed up into its regular foax hawk style. He sported brand new light blue TOMS that matched perfectly with his scarf, stylishly tattered white skinny jeans, and grey Abercrombie and Fitch v-neck.

            “Says the girl with the amazing curls.” He rolled his eyes, gently pulling at one of her locks and letting it spring back to normal.

            Cassie growled, irritated, “D****t! I forgot to do the calculus homework from last night. Did you do it?” she asked Aubrey. She quickly rubbed a smudge off of her glasses with her grey pull-over sweat shirt. It had their school’s mascot, the narwhal, printed on it in their school colors, blue and yellow.

            “Me? Doing calculus homework? I was going to copy you,” she replied. Cassie groaned, complaining about the absurdity of being given an assignment over the weekend.

            “I mean, seriously? Are seventeen year olds allowed to have a life? Ugh, this is going to ruin my grade.” Annoyed, she tucked a loose strain of her long brown hair behind her left ear. She reached into her mesh pull bag, and took out a granola bar. Aubrey could smell it as she watched her devoured it like an underfed stray dog. Her stomach growled loudly. For Christ’s sake, I actually ate this morning! Why can’t my stupid stomach shut up? She grimaced, trying to block out the urge to go into her lunch bag and consume its contents all at once. Sandra smiled at her apologetically, her hazel eyes boring into Aubrey. She grinned feebly back, blushing, but quickly looked away.

            “Hungry much?” Andrew teased Cassie.

            “Oh, f**k off, Andrew.”  She snarled back with bits of granola spewing out of her mouth. The pale skin on her neck grew splotchy from agitation.

            He laughed at her, brushing the ear length jet-black hair from his chinky eyes. “Calm your panties! I was just kidding. And why do you freak out over grades so much, anyway? ‘Oh my gosh, I’m Cassie! I forgot one whole homework assignment and now I’m going to spend the rest of my life working at McDonalds and giving head on the corner!’” All four of them, except Cassie, cracked up at his high pitched mockery of her.

            “Whatever. You’re such a prick, sometimes.” She rolled her eyes and turned away, stomping to her advisory.

            “Must be on her period,” he shrugged. They laughed again, and he bent over to tie the laces of his black Vans sneakers.

            “Wanna walk with me to my locker?” Sandra asked Aubrey. She ran her fingers back through her straight, brown hair with blonde highlights, and let it fall perfectly to the side.

            “Sure,” Aubrey smiled. They waved goodbye to Andrew and Erick, then proceeded down the hall, up the stairs to the second floor, and turned right towards Sandra’s locker, chatting about their weekends along the way.

            “So, how are you feeling this morning? Be honest.” Sandra questioned, putting in her combination and swinging her locker door open. There was a photo booth picture from their group’s night at the movies in 8^th grade, a funny drawing of a high mongoose that Andrew drew on lined paper during chemistry class, and a Paramore poster hung up on the inside.

            “Honestly? I feel pretty crappy.” Aubrey frowned, scanning the checkered tile floor. “My mom guilted me into eating this morning, even though I was planning to fast today.” Sandra nodded, tentatively.

“It was only one cup of cereal and one cup of almond milk. That’s about 180 calories. But it still screws up my day. It messes up my whole weekly schedule, actually.” She shook her head quickly in disgust, still staring at the ground. Her feet began tapping nervously. “My fasting days are Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. That’s just how it has to be. Like, I don’t know. I wanted to throw it up so badly, but I had no time this morning, and my brother had to use the bathroom, and I definitely won’t do it here in public… I just don’t understand why she decided to wake up early, today, of all days! Ugh, and I binged on ice cream last night like a complete fat a*s. I don’t know what came over me. It came up pretty easily, though. So, yeah, I just feel really bloated and disgusting.” She stroked her curls and looked up at Sandra. Remorse flooded her heart immediately. I should shut up now. Aubrey could tell that her venting was eating her up inside, despite her attempt at hiding the pain with pursed lips. Why does she put up with my whining all of the time? And why must I unload all of my burdens onto her? I don’t deserve a friend like her.

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Aubrey,” she tugged at the hair band on her wrist, searching for the right words to say. “I hate seeing you upset like this…” She stopped and thought for a moment.

            How can I expect her to respond to the fucked up things I tell her? How can I expect anyone who hasn’t suffered through this to understand how it feels or how to help when I don’t even know how to help myself? Hell, do I even want help?

“I know all of this is difficult for you, but would you feel better if you just tried to work it off? Like, go jogging or lift weights or something? So that, even though you may not have followed your plan, you’re still doing something good for yourself,” she offered, tapping her white flip-flops side to side, uncomfortably. “I mean, eating a little bit and exercising is better than starving yourself. I know you already realize these things, but… I just worry.” She pulled at the collar of her red tank top, troubled. Her cleavage looks amazing. Aubrey had to rip her eyes away. Sandra stared off into space obliviously, and her flowy blue and red floral skirt swished side to side while she wiggled nervously.

Aubrey grinned warmly, “I know you’re only trying to help. And, yeah, I was thinking I might do that. It just sucks, though. But, I’m seeing my therapist today. I’m just kind of nervous to tell her about my obsession with this schedule.” She gazed aimlessly down the hall, paying no heed to the hundreds of classmates, teachers, and administrators streaming through it during the morning rush.

“I know it’s scary, but please promise me you’ll tell her?” Sandra begged. Whenever those sad puppy dog eyes seep into Aubrey, her heart nearly pounds out of her chest and melts. The power she has over me… Why must she do this?

She contemplated for a moment, “… Okay. I promise, I will. Just for you.” A mile wide beam engulfed Sandra’s face, and a spark of hope twinkled in her eye. She clapped and hugged Aubrey, squeezing the life out of her. The marvelous scent of Sandra’s cherry blossom perfume made her heart skip a beat.

“But don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself, dear.”  She picked up her books and slammed the rusty green locker shut.

“Okay,” she agreed, although she knew that wasn’t a possibility. “By the way, you look beautiful today,” she smiled shyly, “Well, I mean, you do every day. But you just look extra Springy today. Your legs look amazing in skirts.” I wish mine did.

Sandra giggled, “Aw, thank you! I just wanted to embrace the warm weather, you know? Plus,” she stroked at her hair, “I found out that Marco broke up with Rachel last night, and I wanted to look extra nice.” Aubrey felt as if she’d just been punched in the stomach. F*****g, Marco.

Sandra lusted after that long, tan, and handsome soccer jock for two months, regardless of his womanizing ways and fleeting affection for the girlfriends he has been ‘in love with.’ His latest relationship with Rachel Mulberry (number 27) lasted a record of 39 days, counted carefully on Sandra’s calendar. During this relationship, there had been whispers exchanged throughout the school about sext messages, party hook ups, and school bathroom stall quickies behind his gullible girlfriend’s back. The cause of their break up? He grew bored of her.

            For the life of her, Aubrey could not contemplate how a girl as special as Sandra could be so captivated by such a numbskull. His beauty is only skin deep, while hers flows through her mind, body, and spirit.

She could hear the crackling in her chest as she spoke the words, “That’s awesome, Sandra!” She forced a smile, scratching absent mindedly at her wrist, and tried not to fall apart at the thought of this fantastic girl having her heart ripped out by a complete scumbag. “Are you going to talk to him?”

“No… I’m too nervous. You know how I am,” she sighed, leaning against her locker, “Always waiting for that special someone to make the first move. I doubt anything will ever happen.” A warm blanket of relief wrapped around Aubrey. She was laughing victoriously inside her mind.

She wanted to say, “Good, you’re better off without that d********g.” She wanted to say, “You deserved someone a thousand times better than him. Why would you lower your standards to that?” Or even pull her body close to hers and whisper, “Let me be that special someone. Not him.”

However, her desire to be a comforting friend remained the top priority, and she settled on, “Oh, well, you never know. Maybe he’s just too intimidated by how gorgeous you are to make a move. He’d be damn lucky to have you.”

“Eh, I guess.” She murmured hopelessly.

The halls were quiet and nearly vacant. They both glanced over at the analog clock hanging from the ceiling. It was 7:14, and advisory started in a minute. “Oh, shoot! I’ve gotta go. I’ll see you at lunch!” Sandra sprinted in the opposite direction.

“Alright, see ya!” Aubrey gazed after her for another five seconds, taking in the way her fair skin, dainty body, and magnificent hair all harmonized into one flawless girl. There is no way she is human.

The bell rang, snapping her back into reality, and she ran to her advisory only a few doors down.

       

Author's Note

First Chapter :)

Reviews

[Lauren Jones]

loved it!

[Perfect Mistake]

Awesome first chapter! I liked it a lot, had good detail. Also liked the dialouge within it Good work

[Daring Darling Didi]

This is the beginning of a really attractive story; it has a lot of the character that's very modern but not shown enough in today's society. Keep up the good work!

[A Lost Man Found]

this writing takes a dive write into the character, and i dont feel it is letting up soon. i love it!