Kara: Prologue

Kara: Prologue

 

                The house was dark as I slipped calmly through the window that led to the first floor sitting room. The complete lack of guards outside had made my job easy so far. I squinted as I scanned the room seeing the outline of couches, lamps, and tables letting my eyes adjust. Silently I crept along the wall of the sitting room carefully avoiding any furniture on the ground and the paintings on the wall. Thankfully the moon was full and its light provided some help as it streamed through the windows of the house. Stealthily I left the sitting room as I entered the foyer. There was an ornate staircase that curved along the wall. The banister top was marble but the steps were wooden. Carefully I placed my foot on the first step slowly putting my weight on it. The step was sturdy and made no noise. I swiftly ascended the stairs until I was almost to the top. A step creaked and I froze, tensing. My ears listened for any sign of movement. No sound came and I decided it was safe to continue my ascent. As I walked down the hall of the second floor I could hear snoring behind the first door. Stopping briefly I pressed my ear to the door. There were two distinct sets of snoring inside. The Ambassador’s twins were fast asleep. Satisfied, I made my way to the next door. This was the Ambassador and his wife’s bedroom.

                Gently I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned slowly so as not to rattle it. I held my breath as the door swung easily on the well oiled hinges, making it silent. Peering into the dark room I waited for my eyes to adjust. Slowly I could make out a four poster bed with only one body lying on it. It was the Ambassador’s wife. Cursing in my head I closed the door carefully and looked down the length of the hallway for a clue as to where the Ambassador was. A soft beam of light flickered under a door at the end of the hallway answering my unasked question. Wasting no time I covered the distance to the door in a few strides. Once in front of the door, however, I took a moment to prepare myself. Taking a deep breath I opened the door.

                The bright light from the gas lamps assaulted my eyes and I had to squint. It was a few seconds before I could see the room clearly. The two side walls were lined with bookcases bending under the weight of the books in them. In the middle of the wall opposite the door there was a fireplace with embers still glowing in the grate. Leaning against the mantle was Ambassador Marx. He was staring into the fireplace so all I could see was the back of his head. His hair was greyer than the last time I had seen him. Marx had not heard me enter and he continued to stare into the fire.

                I let the door click behind me when I shut it. Ambassador Marx turned with surprising alacrity. He froze in shock as he took my appearance in. I knew what he would see. I had carefully orchestrated my look for years. In his eyes I was reflected: a woman covered in all black standing straight and powerful. He would only see my eyes since I wore a black veil that covered the lower half of my face. This was to ensure my identity remained hidden during my missions.

                I delivered my line, “Ambassador, your blood is wanted for crimes against the state.”

                Ambassador Marx sighed and every wrinkle in his face seemed to sigh with him, “I was unaware that the state sent assassins in the middle of the night to collect criminals. So tell me, who sent you?”

                I bristled against his first statement, but his question was a common one I heard along my missions. It never worried me to tell them exactly who it was that sent me because they would never be able to tell anyone. I never missed my mark.

                “Ambassador Gorelli of the capital city, Hearlot.”

                Then Ambassador Marx did something quite unusual that I had never encountered in my countless missions; he laughed. I didn’t let my confusion show keeping my face and eyes impassive.

                “That old crow finally caught up to me then, did he?”

                I didn’t answer. Instead I lifted my hand and undid my veil. It was my way of showing respect to those I was about to kill. By revealing my face, they could die with at least the knowledge of who had killed them. If Gorelli ever found out he would probably kill me himself. He did not take lightly to his wards disobeying his strict rules.

                “It’s getting late Marx and I’m tired,” I said as I brandished my dagger, its gold glinting in the lamp light. “Not this can be slow and painful or we can make it quick. You choose.”

                I always gave my missions the opportunity to fight for their lives. Secretly I wanted them to. Most just sat there waiting for their death. It made my work very dull and frankly I couldn’t understand how someone could give up their life so easily.

                Ambassador Marx eyed me carefully as he said, “I think I won’t fight. I’ve had enough of it.”

                I sighed as I looked at my dagger, twirling it.

                “Shame,” and with that I flicked my dagger. 

Reviews

[shaginfotech]

This is so good!! I can't wait to read more.

This prologue was well written and kept my attention throughout the whole page. I'm left wanting more! I'm so eager to learn about Kara's back story and how she became an assassin.
I will definitely continue on and read chapter one. This story has a lot of potential. Wonderful job ^_^

[Melissa R.]

Oh my gosh thank you so much! That means so much to me! I hope I can keep you interested. There's a lot to Kara and the story has so much to come. :D

[Crimson Bayonet]

This was a good prologue to start off with. We immediately start off with suspense and curiosity as to what the main character is doing. Or about to do, in this case. We easily get the idea that the main character, I assume Kara, is either a thief or some secret agent. We then learn she is an assassin just doing another job, or "mission" as Kara puts it. It should be noted that Kara is rather nonchalant and even callous to Ambassador Marx.

Just out of curiosity, is Kara like that in general to other characters, or only in her profession? It would be interesting if you added a duality to Kara's character; how she acts as an assassin V.S how she acts to the people she knows. It would be overall if Kara was just like that due to her job that molded her to be callous and cold to people. An interesting and rather edgy female character; but that's just a suggestion to spice things up.

Another suggestion I would offer is you should probably space out the paragraphs and dialogue lines. This is mostly a personal suggestion, due to my rather poor eyesight. But other than that, this was an overall pretty good prologue. But to make perhaps a tad bit more eye-catching is to start the beginning paragraph with a really good hook. Since Kara is an assassin, I'm sure you can come up with something good. Like I said, this was a good start and really gets me excited to read more. Wonderful job! :)

[Melissa R.]

Thank you so much for you review. I will definitely keep your formatting suggestions in mind for the future. Kara is definitely multi dimensional and confused as to who she even is, but that is revealed further on. This was just to give you a snap shot of what she does. I hope you continue reading and reviewing I appreciate it! :)