Evening Rain

Gray smoky clouds spread twisted hues of black,
Making the evening bleak.
Starless sky, scrubbed empty slate overhead,
Lightning, and thunder made calls of storm heard!
Arrows of rain fell sharp, and fast on metal roofs, chilling air!
Under the net of wet curtain moved cautiously the motor cars,
Its yellow front lights mirrored the shiny dark streets of tar.
Moist beads from splashes of the wheels rose like a swarm of bees,
chasing the beast...
With their back lights burning red.

Reviews

[Nigel Newman]

Mrudala Hi. As others have said, you have picked up on something we all love to hate, especially when behind the wheel, but which nevertheless conjures emotions of drama with wonderful light and sounds. You have some glorious imagery, and it's easy to picture the scene.

You have some wording/typo things which I hope you won't mind me pointing out. Some are more observation than a suggested edit, and I hope you find them helpful:
- both the final it's should be its; a quirk of the English language!
- switch of tense from what felt like present in the first 3 lines (making) to past thereafter; on reflection one could read the whole poem as past tense but I think many readers, like me, would infer that the first part was in the present tense
- you says cars but then use its, when their is the correct form for a plural noun
- overhead not over head
- interesting use of commas; starless sky (makes sense); Lightning ... and ... sharp (both a little odd as, to me, they interrupt the flow)

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you Nigel, for the review and suggestions. I appreciate it. Your reviews are a treat, and extremely helpful for future writing too. Thank you.

[KCthelastboyscout]

The pleasure of a good rain.you select the right words to paint the perfect picture in my mind as I read your story . thank you

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you KC for the wonderful review.

[barleygirl]

Such imaginative descriptions of familiar details we all recognize, but worded in a unique way! It's been so long since I've enjoyed regular or significant rain in these parts, plus I never go around traffic anymore, so you've brought back a slice of life that's been missing for me for years! I can see & feel & taste & smell every detail (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you dear. Your reviews I treasure.

[raj24]

picture of rain, beautiful imaginary world you have created over here, i felt i m just there driving through the rain n its all dark, rainy n just cars around me..keep writing n reading :) thanks for sharing

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you raj, for your wonderful review. I love rain and enjoy watching it ( it hasn't rained much here in a while) -All the best

[Neville]

What a great little poem, crammed full of details only a poet might capture..........Neville

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you dear friend, for you sweet words of encouragement.

[Paul Bell]

What a great image you portray in your poem.
That time just when day turns to night is always perfect.

[Mrudula Rani]

Thank you. The dusk is the bewitching time, it's warlocks favorite?