Preface

A Chapter by Jess

And suddenly he realized...

He was Miami Beach on a hot day in summer. He was the chill of snowflakes on a cold day in winter. He stuck a toothpick between two faded white teeth that peaked out from a smile as wide as the sun. Mine slowly sank. With lips parted I felt the foam of his ocean drown me. A knife stabbed in my stomach. I felt like I was coming alive and dying at the same time.

It’s difficult when your body is being pulled two ways: the one of romance stronger than the one of friendship. And how unlikely it was that I would be caught so dead in the middle, how a strike of lightning pierced my skin like a racecar turning left. I tried to pretend nothing had changed while his eyes glittered in the dim light, but I knew everything did.

He looked at me, his smile relaxing a bit, and all thought from me disappeared. At least I wasn’t as obvious as I believed I appeared to be. But he wasn’t stupid, either. It was only a matter of time before he could see the blue of my veins wrapped thickly beneath a striped sweater. His eyes were inside mine, wrapped in emptiness. He probably saw the dark corners as a breeding ground for light switches. I hoped he wouldn’t come up empty handed.

“You a’ight?”

No. I was not. I never would be.