He Smiles

It licks, surrounds quickly, gone.

Screaming and Crying,

she runs.

Panting and Heaving,

she falls.

Quickly and Shakily,

she rises.

Covered in vomit,

she slips.

Sweating and Bleeding,

she rolls.

Blistering and Oozing,

it traps.

Spreading unusually rapid,

she's frozen.

Surrounded and Licked,

she's enveloped.

Melting and Charred,

she's gone.

Fire happily killed,

He Smiles.

Author's Note

What do you think? It just came to me, I wrote it for a contest.

Reviews

[Misty Blue Eyes]

it goes well with the picture, very cool

[Void Unspoken]

Nice!I love it! It was a little eerie... I agree/ But that's okay. After all... You know the stuff I write and what it's like. BTW... I've got some new stuff to post now.

[River Wilson]

So eery, its a great poem, diffrent from most which is what i love about it.

[Rosalind Dee]

it keeps you gripped till the last line :) good work

[Iris Jayne]

Creepy. Fire is totally creepy. I feel sorry for the girl. Great write. [:

[Tina Kline]

I love the format you used for this. The poem itself is intense and dark but only in a good way. Seeing the situation from Fire's point of view is different. I've heard and read people who say fire must be alive because it needs oxygen to exist. Very creative.

[Adelia Alighieri]

Whoa that's a wicked structure lol
Suits perfectly. Great write.

[Forever Mine]

This is very dark and creepy for sure. The creativity of the stanzas are amazing and unique. I like the picture too, fits pretty well.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think it is intensely wicked... to me it is someone who is being hunted in her own mind from a mistake she never righted and it is driving her to eternal madness now... it is great how you bring it to life with these quick snappy stanzas.

[Short.Nerd]

Kinda dark and creepy but I like it! GOod JOb