Nightfall

Me and a friend Andrew are gonna be challenging eachother for different types of writing. :) Here's the first challenge. :) You'll be seeing more writing from me, more often now, thanks to him. :)

 

July 7, 2011

Nightfall

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The water ripples at my feet,

gently nibbling my toes as they dangle from the pier,

and dusk draws to a crawling end.

Abysmal shadows play tricks on my eyes

as I stare out across the darkening lake.

Images of a blackened mountain

become obscurred in the unsettled waves

while the sun slowly creeps away.

Clouds whispers sway the branches,

causing the leaves to sing their melodic tunes,

and I know they are conspiring against my peaceful nightfall.

Through the dim glow,

the mountain becomes a blurry haze

as the sun dips below the horizon,

leaving the sky a pale blue-lavender.

Peeping through the inky-blackness

of the sky's pillows,

the glowing orb outlines the menacing

gale that brews within.

An electric-blue suddenly strikes out across the sky,

and once again I realize

the clouds are up to no goodas the atmosphere

around me crawls into its bed-time shade.

I inhale deeply as the storm releases its tears,

and exhale softly as I am swallowed

by the black mist lurking at my back.

 

Author's Note

This was a challenge by my good friend Andrew, I am happy to say I hope to be writing more now because of him. :) Thanks Andrew for your lovely challenges. I look forward to them and they put a smile on my face. :)

Reviews

[Michael Kenitzer]

I love this piece. Every word and description paints the image in my head clearly. I've always loved nature. The calm before the storm is a very unnerving but blissful feeling once you know how to harnes its power.

[Cassiopia Summers]

I am glad you could picture it. :)

[ron]

I love how you describe nature in so a poetic form. The end is what gets me... and exhale softly as I am swallowed by the black mist lurking at my back.

Very well done.

[Cassiopia Summers]

Thank you. :) Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked it.

[sharonlee]

Excellent writing.... I don't know what the criteria was for the challenge but this is very nicely crafted.

[JanieB]

Absolutely superb!
Wow, you are coming along leaps and bounds..so very well done. x

[Alexis]

This had AWESOME imagery! It was amazing. I like how you ended the poem. It seemed kind of haunting (to me anyways). I really liked this!

[joshua deathdealer]

I love the imagery and the feel of this write. Hats off to you!! Well done.

[MS. BABy]

i enjoyed the imagery of this piece...thanks for this..

[Kat Collins]

Sweetly, alluringly beautiful - you capture the scent of the night well. I look forward to reading more!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Really a beautiful way to describe the call of the wild and living life on the edge... you sound like a modern day female version of James Dean.

[Jeremy Baker]

You're certainly up to the challenge! Excellent writing!