Confessions of a News Anchor

Just something quick that I wrote for an audition

Julie: ...And this is Julie Williams. We’ll be back at the 11 o’ clock news.
(smiles for a while then relaxes)
Are we done? Ok.
(walks off a few steps to the side and addresses audience)
What-what is this? Every day I am forced to report news that, quite frankly, I don’t think anyone wants to hear. Listen to this “There was a report that Michael Jackson had faked his death and had a sex change. He is now a kindergarden teacher named Mrs. Jackson.” If I were a parent, I would much rather not know the possibilty that my child’s teacher is Michael Jackson. Some things are better left unsaid. In fact, who wants to know what occupation he, I mean she, has. What we are all really wondering is why he is Mrs. Jackson. Who is Mr. Jackson? Now there’s a story. Oh, and this! “The cure for cancer has finally been found.” We don’t need to know that! If there was a cure for cancer, what will all the people searching for the cure do now? So many jobs would be lost and all those donations to cancer research would be a waste.
(crumbles up paper)
Trust me, the world is better off not knowing this.
Hmmm...let’s see what else is in this pile...baby learns to speak at birth...he’s going to be a little chatter box...trash...President Bush caught hanging out with the Al Queda...we already knew that...Finally! Some news! “Aliens infiltrate the government. With Alien technology in the side of the United States, scientists have informed us that it will take about 2 years to conquer the world.” Now there is something the whole world should know!
(looks to the side)
What’s that? We’re still on air?
(Clears voice)
Sorry about that folks.
(listens to ear piece)
We have just recieved breaking news. Julie Williams has just been fired. I’d hate to be...her.
End Scene

Reviews

[Lost in Wonderland]

pretty nice monologue, I definantly think this would be a good audition for a farce:) Nice work

[oops sorry (not really)]

ha this is funny