My Addiction - My gift My Curse - part 1A Story by Nadine Raven became a vampire after the loss of her human family. While she had been addicted to the tales when alive, she never imagined any of it to be true. She is an impulsive quirky kind of girl, she sm
Previous Version This is a previous version of My Addiction - My gift My Curse - part 1 . My Addiction “My
Gift, My curse” Written by Nadine Cloete Part 1 Definition
on “Addiction” 1.
“Being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on
something that is psychologically or
physically habit-forming” 2. “An abnormally strong craving” 3. “The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination; A habit
or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased
causes trauma; A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has
life damaging consequences” PROLOGUE It had been
a long and hard journey that led me to this day. I never considered to ever being
in this type of a position. In essence, I never felt of that much importance,
and yet - so, this day continued, everyone fighting for their own purpose,
their own vengeance. The day would end with a battle not won by either side.
There would be losses with seemingly no gain…. MAIN CHARACTER �" CH 1 It was a
misty morning as I perched myself on the edge of the old age home’s roof. I
didn’t look a day older than 29 in physical resemblance even though in years I
had been fortunate enough to reach the age of a 105. Sitting on
top of an old age home is what I had recently made my newfound addiction. It
was this thing I did to fill up the empty space inside, the empty hole that
most people tried to fill with “business”. Everyone had a different reaction
when dealing with pain. Some would work hard, other would go on a vacation, and
some go for haircuts and tattoos. I was a vampire. Not exactly the type of
thing that could mingle with general society. And so I
caught myself sitting around daydreaming. I was reliving their years, their
memories and yet so much of my own. Damien hated these stages since he felt it
to be some sort of depression. As usual I wasn’t fazed by his outburst and went
my own way as I had for numerous years. I wanted to be old. I wanted to die �"
loved. Yet, my time just never came. My number was never up. I imagined
jumping down every now and then, strutting down towards one of the benches,
where an old woman and her companion sat day after day. I imagined myself
greeting them and asking them about general things in their life. The
conversation would be easy; flowing �" normal. Then I imagined myself recalling
historical dates �" in the beginning they might recall some and even take part
in the conversation, but in the end …. What would they think of 29-year-old
describing historical events as if it was yesterday, as is she was part of it?
As if, she was in it. This is what
I did every couple of years. As soon as I felt as if I had lost my purpose to Life,
I started leeching onto things people could remember - Memories; photos,
historical events and occasions. I wasn’t
oblivious to the fact that those that surrounded me thought that I might have
lost the plot. In fact, I am sure I did, I just managed it better than they
would if they lived to the age of 105. They cursed me for moping around life.
They felt that if they had the gift of life and eternity they would use it
differently. It was
different for me; I had fought my wars, loved with passion, lived my life to
the full and in the end - remained frozen. There were
some leaves fluttering down onto the roof as I sprawled my body open on top of
the roof. I embraced the sun and inhaled the air as if it was the first time, smells
and sunshine took me back to the past when I had transformed. It was a long;
long time ago. STORY LINE - CHAPTER 1 �" AND SO THE
STORY BEGAN. “One
fire burns out another’s burning, One’s pain is lessened by another’s anguish.
“ �" Romeo and Juliette Vampire girl;
searching for eternal love … I know - it is such a cliché, but so it began,
this is my story �" and I am finally about to let it out to the world. “Death was easy, silent, and comfortable �"
life was more difficult” it had hurt, the whole transformation. My endless
search finally got me to this stage in life where I discovered that it was true
- majority of the mythical historical stories had a truth to them. As my gran
used to say, “Waar daar ‘n rookie is, is
daar definitief ‘n vuurtjie “(where there is smoke; there is definitely fire) “.
Stories aren’t just told, they originate from something; whether they are
passed on from generation to generation or just brought up by an idea -it had sparked
from something; someone had brought up the experience; the bottom line �" it was
a human creation. I had been created and now the only thing left for
me to do was �" focus on what I was planning on doing with this; creation -
being me. Smiling inwardly, I wondered: “Good bat / bad bat” �" wicked thought. I didn’t want to be bad. Naughty yes but - bad has
never been my nature. Now that I had, the immortality to live without “life’s restrictions” what was I going
to do with all my time. What was I going to do with all this freedom? I ran my fingers down the wall next to me and
smirked. It was with some sort of relief that I discovered that I had a gift,
or maybe a curse … While alive, I had the gift to sometimes dream about things
…. If I was lucky enough to remember them when I woke up, I knew that it meant
that somewhere in my life I was going to experience the Déjà-vu thing that
people related too. After my transformation, I was fortunate to be able to
see things … further; my visions
would change though - as people change their minds all the time. I wasn’t able
to keep track of decisions, I was only able to see what road lay ahead for the
person while I was in close proximity of that person and I had met their gaze,
it would be based on their current decisions though…thus my gift was limited. It was surprisingly
painful since people could change their life’s course with every decision they
make. Just imagine
- You might have wanted coco pops for breakfast but instead when you got to the
kitchen you decided on Pro-Nutro this could change a lot in your day … it could
change a lot in your life. Regretfully I was thus a walking “change bomb” when it came to people and
their decisions. Figuratively my skin had become a pale white, a
problem for someone in Africa. People would anticipate that I might have some
kind of a disease. Astoundingly, while gazing at my reflection it was a
“pretty” pale �" a gift a curse. My eyes had gone from un-obvious shades of green to
a more penetrating green - a gaze
little would forget once they come past it. I wasn’t a 100 percent sure about the sunlight; not
yet. From what I read about it in ancient history, I was supposed to die, I was
supposed - to burn with its slightest touch. As far as I could tell however, I was
able to move amongst humans. I was just seen as very pale. Not that it mattered
that much - since I had always been pale �" my mind plundered ahead. Whilst
alive, I always use to joke around and say that I wasn’t a real South African I
should have been born European. I was never
a great traditional South African �" Afrikaans �" cultured - individual. I am sure if I did live in the original old Republic,
they might have put me in banishment for my views on civilization and culture. I was not
very fond of South African music; was never very fond of Afrikaans movies, definitely
not into the - “I am all “Boer “thing”
either. Whist alive, I had family that was apparently
related to the great old Boer history, which was interesting to know. I never
understood where I got my genes from then since I truthfully never experienced
any willingness to be part of their heritage. I grew up in a different time, where everyone was
working for themselves. The governments had been corrupt and the national
system only worked for some. I am not a
racist at all, I believe that everyone makes with life what he or she wants. If
you are clever, you are clever - and if you are stupid, you are stupid. After
all - “you are the sailor of your own …“.
The current situation within our councils and
government institutions in general was terrible. Service levels had been non - existing
for a while and it started taking its toll on majority of its citizens. In fact, I had a slight suspicion that some of my
kind had to be involved in the Eskom power outages. What better way to build
your own species and power nation �" I convinced myself. Just to let you in on the situation - Africa was experiencing
random periods where the power would go off in numerous areas around the
continent. They said, it was a good
way to save on electricity, I however thought
and now I know it was a good way for some hungry armies to dawn onto random places
and rest their appetites. It was clear since only some areas had been affected. The end of my first life had come eventually after exceptional bouts of
pain … my family had been erased in a car crash - I was the only survivor.
There had been hundreds of deaths. It was a windy day on our drive back from
Cape Town, we came down a mountain pass and a truck had jack knifed in the
middle of a turn, it was a blind turn - no one saw it coming. I had been the only survivor. Months of pain in hospital didn’t make my life any
easier, it just made me prudent to the fact that I didn’t want to live anymore.
After all, it wasn’t the first time I had arrived in front of this door. On the
family front - we had some great memorable times before this bad luck had come
upon us. I had scheduled a list of countries to travel to; it was a reason for
me to carry on with the monotonous lifestyle I had been irritated with at the
time. We would
work eleven months of the year to have this four weeks of escape. It would
become our routine, but it would be worth it. Reality check �" my creator never agreed to the fact
that I would get my satisfaction of everlasting love in one lifetime, it was
obvious that I had to continue this journey. It was with this realization that
I sat. I had remained behind again… Someone once told me that in their religion they
believed that people came back in a new form - different to their current life.
They would continuously come back in different forms until … I never got
to the part of until what. Surely, there had to be an ending. Any way the
point I wanted to bring across was that apparently, whatever you indulged in
your first life you would have a lack of in your second. The moral … Apparently, I was stinking rich in my 1st
life and I loved unconditionally … I would
rather have liked believing in soul mates. At least then, I would know that with my husband; my family - it was
never good-bye but always until we meet,
again … the reminder was sheer agony. If I had died - I would already have
been on my way to meet them, but instead, my obsession had landed me into the
pits of the unknown, it had led me to this. (Sad face) My life
changed to this before my 30th birthday, before my 1st year of
marriage, before my daughter went to primary school or my son to high school. This
mattered. It mattered to me as I was left with a dead life to live into
eternity. It had ended as swiftly as it started. After I sat
at my last deathbed, I had created my own. I sat at home for days - not eating,
drinking, going out, working, maybe sometimes not even breathing - a speck of
dust, on a planet waiting for the end to come to finally join the rest of my
crazy squad. Either way, as per the norm, release - never came,
my pain would be stretched out into oblivion, and so it was - seconds; minutes;
hours; days; weeks; months went past and still there was nothing that could
come and savor me from myself. At least that was until she came. She sat next to me for days, listened to my story,
sympathized with my losses. Held my hand when I couldn’t distinguish between
reality and the past anymore. I’m referring to “she” since I was too weak to
have noticed or even focused on who she could be. All I saw was shades. Shades
of black; shades of light. Reality only
returned when I woke up to a burning sensation in my hand; struggling to grasp
what and where it was coming from. Maybe I fell asleep with a cigarette in my
hand �" was my initial thought - it happened a lot these days. The woman however pushed down on me and whispered:”
Jou tyd is nog nie verby nie kleinding, jy het nog tyd om dit te vind waarvoor
jy hier is “(your time has not come yet
my child, you will still have time to find what you had been destined to look
for). The pain was extreme - assumingly similar to one’s body
being cut apart �" it was as if fire was burning through my veins, as if I had
gone and stood in a pile of hot needles. I struggled to breath from the heat. I
imagined my skin being scorched by the sun, I was sure this is what it would
feel like if you had been doomed to the eternal pits of hell. Moreover, when I
thought that I would no longer be able to scream, when every breath, and every
effort had left my body it finally started subsiding. In its place, I
experienced coldness, it originated from the tips of my fingers and slithered
down my hand; it continued down the right side of my body, and then slowly made
its way up the opposite side. The coldness filled my head with clarity; it
encircled my whole body and finally came to an abrupt stop, in the exact
location that used to be a pumping organ, a heart, at least … that is where I assumed
my heart used to be. Things
seemed very open- big; spaced out, airy - my senses tried to make sense of it
all in hasty confusion. I could smell grass from the neighbors next door; the
smell of sunlight grabbed me as I turned, there was the faint smell of pine
trees from up the street and the even duller smell of old jacaranda tree’s �"
located down the hill close to the cemetery. I smiled - I was able to smell everything
- grass; water; rubber everything that existed and surrounded my total being had
its own distinctive smell and vibration. Hearing was as intoxication. My mind finally
convinced the rest of me that I was able to hear everything; it was as if I turned into a female version of “Daredevil” - Sounds stretched around me
until it seemed like forever, it
vibrated along the corridors and windowsills of my now silent home. It rippled
through the grass, up the tree stumps, down the leaves and got absorbed into
the huge bubbles of air that I was now still trying to adapt to. It was as if
I had stayed in bed for weeks with a bout of flu, and now I took my first steps
back outside. It was as if I hadn’t seen the world for ages. Things smelled
great, different �" new. I could feel the air and wind touch my skin. It made me
feel alive, as if I had never lived before, I was reborn or born and this was
now a different time, a different place. There were familiar surroundings, yet
indifferent sensations. The world - life looked different … It was with this realization that I finally once
again realized that even though I might have been surrounded by all these new
anomalies; I had never felt this alone … the loneliness suffocated me. It was
as if this new sense of me brought
on a heavier, more intoxicating sense of loneliness. It was as if
my breath was once again knocked out of me; the pain was so intense that it swirled
within the pits of my stomach. If I could breathe I begged and pleaded inwardly, - if
gasping for air in my current state just had a purpose - I would have screamed
out in agony…but there was nothing. And sometimes the “nothings” is what made
it all the more painful. I realized there was something else creeping up on
me, there was the extreme sensation I couldn’t define ultimately at first. It
was this “knowing” sensation cringing at the edge of my stomach; it was
as if my mind was still trying to realize what it was. It was a familiar yet very
unfamiliar sensation. As it loomed and
swirled around under my flesh, I suddenly realized with immense shock, what it
was. The realization hit me like a brick, it had the
intense resemblance of a cement brick plunging down into a pavement �" finally I
familiarized it with the familiar sensation of thirst. The sensation was similar to the feeling one experienced
after a long run, it was that burning chest and throat that only water could
replenish for a human. I swept down the passage wanting to drench my thirst,
wanting to kill the intoxifiying burn; but oddly
enough, the smell of water didn’t at
all familiarize itself with the idea of the “normal �" logical accompanying
gesture” �" to quench it. Instead, it actually kinda made me a little bit
uncomfortable - queasy. Avalanche
mode slapped down on me again and I had to face the fact that I was going to
have to kill something … sometime �"
soon. If I just had some help, some assistance, if someone had just stuck
around to help me through this, show me the ropes, prepared me on what to
expect. I started
laughing - inwardly … it was a sad hysterical bubble that peeked out �" one
would think that with my infatuation of vampire tales I would at least have
some expectations, some knowledge of this world. Internally, knowing myself, I knew that humans would
definitely never be a thought, I had dealt with enough loss for thirty
lifetimes and I would never want to put that onto any other human. It was a logical decision. Disdainfully,
my dilemma remained… I didn’t know how to do this but I knew that this
was a new beginning, one that had no balls and chains connected to it. I
apparently, had to make the best of it. As I had been in life (Whilst alive), I
am very adaptable….Was never a good actor but content with my decisions once
they had been made. With that in mind, I lined up my thoughts. Okay so first
things first … something to eat. I got up, too fast - apparently, as I almost
collided with the door that leads out to the passage. Dust clouds flew up with
my movement and I had to stop and recap on what just happened. I would need to
take this completely new me a step at
a time; I would need to start slowly - at the very beginning … Next, I moved - one foot at a time, I was amazed at
my body’s changes - my skin was slightly paler than what I was used to, my eyes
a lot brighter, my hair red had turned into a platinum white. Uggh …………I
have to admit that didn’t make me too happy. I liked red … In my current state
that might not be the best thing to think about though … red. Blood running
down my throat; blood dripping from my kid’s noses, blood curdling out my
husband’s eyes … I shivered at the faint memories. Reality was enough to make me try and refocus. I turned trying to refocus - can’t do anything in my
underwear �" clothes �" I shivered, I’d definitely need clothes. I grinned as
I pulled my closet open whatever was decently wearable �" for now �" would do. Now to
hunt … STORY LINE - CHAPTER 2 �" THE HUNT ”Gee’z Louise”- I sighed as I suddenly
realized my dilemma. I lived in the midst of Johannesburg; have done so for thirteen
years, where in heavens name was I
going to find something to eat? - I wondered as I stumbled through what
remained of my house. My pets had
all passed away like my family … not that I could bear the thought of eating any
of them. The thought of pets however made me think of something else. I was
hungry, thirsty �" whatever you’d like to call it. The mere thought of something
quenching the burn was overwhelming. I never thought the idea of blood would
make me want it so badly. With this frantic panic, I suddenly remembered
something … The Zoo … the
zoon would be a “safe” place to start. From thereon I would need to move to
find something a bit more undetectable. It was
twilight time in Johannesburg, a safe time for vampires. I carefully trotted to the end of the passage out
the door, unwillingly I managed to turn around for a split second to look at
the little house - this would be the last thing I had of my whole life, it
would be the last thing I was leaving behind forever… The only
thing I am taking with me is a small necklace that holds a locket with a small compartment;
I had added a little bit of soil into its compartment, it had a small photo
located on the opposite side, a memory of lives never to be forgotten. The burning
pain starting evoking the monster within the pits of my stomach and I decided
that now would be the time to take my leap of faith before I am consumed with my
losses. The idea to stick around a little longer might just lead into something
potentially dangerous for my survived neighbors. With that
thought in mind I took a step back; I put in all my effort to unleash my first
jump; the first jump into my new existence. I added my every bit of concentration
to reach the farthest point of landing I could. The zoo had not been too far
from my house, if you went by car, it would have been approximately ten kilometers,
which in time would be approximately - forty-five minutes drive in Johannesburg
traffic; on a good day however without any traffic you’d be looking at
approximately fifteen minutes. Being in my new form, it was a first personal
best on foot. Admittedly,
the idea of eating any animal, live -
animal in any way wasn’t that appealing, especially since the thought crossed
my mind that people would be rocking up to feed these animals in the morning and
all they would see is a dead limp body. Hopefully, (and it was a faint hope) none
of the kids would be interested in what my senses told me - had
to be my supper. With disgust
at myself, I remained still and concentrated on my whole being, what was my
senses going for I questioned myself? I tried to relax; holding my breath, I opened
up my hearing and leaned into my smell. There was a
faint wave of music that came past from one of the huts where the permanent
caretakers where staying - it sounded like �" “Die Heuwels fantasties “Way to go”
a song I recalled my husband loved. Again I had
to shake off the memories - , that was all in the past now and I had to
concentrate on the issue at hand. I started focusing past the human smell that
lured out of the huts where the music originated. Although I
had to admit that, the smell of flesh was at that exact moment, extremely
enticing. So much so that I could envision myself beaming down the pathway and
sneaking into the door. I could here the faint laughter of some of the ground
staff. “Joe dit was
darem vir jou ‘n noue ontkoming met die swart panther vanoggend” (Joe that
was a close encounter with the Black Panther this morning) Joe inhaled
deeply as he apparently recalled the occurrence and exhaled loudly as he
started giggling. “Ja David,
dit kan jy weer sê, daai feeks het amper my arm af gebyt” (yes David,
you can say that again that shrew almost took my arm) The smell was
sweet yet irony; it made my stomachache and my throat burn so badly that if
I had to be a dog I would have yelped in pain. I turned those words over in my
thoughts if I were a dog….I focused on moving my senses away from that
on towards the animals. My mind searched - Birdcages �" nope; elephants �" nope;
zebra’s �" nope; lions �" nope. I stretched it to circle the
entire carnivore setup and was lucky to finally focus onto something of
interest. It was the animal that even while I was alive I had admired entirely. Her smell wrapped my mind; it
intoxicated my sense and left me with no control. Before I realized it, my body
had taken action. I swiftly
ran down the brick corridors up to the end of the zoo-passing majority of the
enclosures reaching for the end. Finally, I reached my main destination. The
enclosure had high fences with a slow waterfall running through the trees down
into a huge gap that separated the fences from the actual enclosure. The beast I
had my eye on was mostly extinct to the western population since they had been confined
to low mountains - having been displaced by humans from lower areas. They
travel only through dense spruce forests, and are attracted to rocky areas and forests;
they are from what I read - undoubtedly the world’s largest cats. I peeked through the peeping hole to see what she
was up to, her tail was shifting; up and down; up and down like a whip. As I
moved closer to the enclosure, I could immediately see that she knew about the
approaching danger, she was lying down under the bushes, waiting … My instincts told me that approaching her directly
might be a good option, a good option for
me - as I won’t feel as guilty about what I am doing. The adrenaline spiked in my now bloodless veins and
my senses zeroed in on her throat. The sensation of close relief overwhelmed my
body. I was no longer in control of it. I didn’t know how I was going to go
about this, didn’t have the slightest idea of what to expect, all I heard was her
thumping heartbeat - it became faster and faster the closer I got until the
sound was the only thing I heard. It surrounded my world as if it wanted to
break through my realms and become one with me. I maneuvered
myself into the tree in front of it and impulsively launched myself onto her
back. I was oblivious to any of my actions. At that moment, all I could think
of was the sweet raw smell that surrounded my very existence. We rolled across
the empty grass space into the small river that separated the enclosure from
the spectators. I didn’t want to make a big killing scene the
thoughts rushed into my muddled mind. I won’t be able to live with the regret
when I read the newspapers, I continued my argument. In hinds view I could
already see it. “SIBERIAN TIGER - BRUTAL MURDER - JHB ZOO” I had to try and make it look like something else happened.
I didn’t want to attract any attention, not to me, or my kind not now in any
way. I struggled
with the tiger. It’s ginormous paws
plodded around for something, anything to grab hold of, cling onto. At first my
efforts had been strained, it was after all my first kill but as I finally
regained focus and poise, the defeat came faster. With every bubbled breath she
took, I pushed a little deeper, increasing my hold with every swirl we took. Round
and round as if we were dancing �" underwater. Her hold on the little livelihood
she had was extreme, as extreme as I am sure it would be for anyone fighting to
survive. In the end, my nails had torn into her furry flesh and I realized that
I had finally overpowered her. In a last effort, I reached for her back pushed my
elbows into her side and held for dear life whilst drowning the magnificent
beast. Every time her unwillingness to die raged against my
grip, I would shove her down a bit more until eventually the struggle became
less and less. The bubbled air disturbed the service bed with less intenseness.
I remained crouched in this position, concentrating
on my next step since I wanted to be extra sure that the cat didn’t get a swirl
of second wind. “Rather save than sorry,”
I muttered inwardly. I honestly didn’t want to go through this whole
ordeal again for a while, that I promised myself even though I was sure that
this was a embarrassing moment for majority of my population. I was supposed to
feed on the very first human that passed by, instead I had traveled across
Johannesburg to the Zoo and seeked food within the perimeters of the zoo
enclosure. Once I
decided it was safe I slowly went up and scrutinized the area outside of the
water focusing on the air around me. All seemed to be in place the music was
still playing down the corridors and my fight for food hadn’t disturbed the
general animal stance. I sighed at this realization. It was as if I was never here, as if the mighty “almost”
extinct tiger was sleeping at the bottom of her own riverbed and life continued
as if normal for the rest of humanity. I pulled the
tiger out of the water and sloshed it next to the fake rocks under the tree. Instinct told me to go for the main artery on the
hind leg. Two little holes I muttered
to myself, that all it was going to be. I finally bent over and had my first
blood curdling meal. The blood sloshed down my throat. It had a warm tingling
feeling; it was satisfying and made your stomach feel full. The sensation was
similar to that of Horlicks, nice to drink on a cold night whilst sitting in
front of a curdling fire. I forced
myself to not think about it -
besides this wasn’t so bad; the cat was already dead �" I tried to convince myself.
It wasn’t as if I was letting it bleed to death - my two minds continued their
war. I stared into the animal’s eyes �" dead eyes and
suddenly wondered if animals could also turn into vampires. I hoped not. I mean
I’m sure it couldn’t happen, cause if it could surely Africa would never have
gotten this far. They would have mutated and fed to such an extent that
humanity would surely have been extinct by now. The mere thought created shivers
down my spine, a strange sensation since it wasn’t the familiar cold tingling
that starts at the back of your neck. It was more a shock of realization to
what could have happened. I decided to ignore this new gnawing itch at the pit
of my stomach. I finally got
back to my supper and eventually felt satisfied enough to let it go. Sadly, I
felt refreshed and ready for life. The irritating ache was still there thumping at the
bottom of my throat - for now it was bearable though. If I refocused my attention,
it was thankfully easy to set aside. With that I
stood up, I positioned the cat in a sleeplike position and jumped up to the end
of the enclosure. I wasn’t going back through the whole zoo again; it just
brought back painful memories of days past as a human. Days lost forever. Now,
I had become the killer I had always warned my children after. Again,
before the pain could embrace my whole being I decided to run. Run from what I
had just done - run from everything that had happened … The wind
flashed past me, the lights; the buildings; the city; the humans; the pain - I
ran until I felt empty; until I left what I knew behind and only then once the
memories and the nightmares of what I had done left my body did I stop to look
around and exhale. The sun was
rising in the east. I wasn’t sure of what this new day would bring or where I
would go. MAIN CHARACTER �" CH 2 Damien
was sitting at the edge of the table delving his fingers into the wood with
irritation. “Is
jy Fricken mal Rogue?”(Are you crazy Rogue)�" He scolded “Nie
aspris nie“(Not intentionally) �" I cooed back in
satisfaction. “Daar’s
nie ‘n manier wat jy by ‘n oue te huis gaan werk nie “(There
is no way you are going to work in an old aged home) �" he continued barking. “Dis
nie jou keuse nie“(It’s not your choice) �" I adamantly answered.
I
made the decision after leaving the old aged home that evening; I was planning to
do the night shift run. I wanted to be part of something bigger. Besides I
giggled inwardly �" I’m older than any of the people there even though I might
not look it. Damien refused to understand my decision,
which was normal since he never understood me. I understood it though and that
made it worthwhile. Damien had gotten old, he had little “Damien’s” running around the house.
Akira and he had a good and full life up to now. According to me, he had broken
the record of living shape shifters a couple of decades ago. This to me was a
token of a good life. He didn’t understand what I missed and
longed for these days. I lifted my feet to the table and toppled my chair. Another
sign of my ignorance. I
had to grin inwardly at the memory of our meeting. What a life we have shared
up to now? It is a friendship of unspoken camaraderie that view people would
ever understand. STORY LINE - CHAPTER 3 �" WHERE TO GO My run had
brought me to the outskirts of beautiful Pretoria. With the upcoming sun, glinting
with its rays over the historical city I saw a familiar structure and decided
to spend my time between its cold stone walls. I wondered about history and
what we had been taught. Did they know about us, did we even exist in their history?
Coming from a fairly Afrikaans heritage, I was sure to think that “Paul Kruger”
might be turning in his grave at the mere realization that white “Afrikaans“vampires
have taken refuge in his heritage site. The Voortrekker
Monument glistened in the morning shadows on its low hill as the sun wanted to
greet yet another day. It was a logical choice for a place of refuge since the
museum part would give me some sort of shadow. Still, I was not too sure about
how I might look in direct sunlight. I still had to explore my new self in a
step-by-step manner. Maybe once I had this covered I could create a book �"
Vampires for Dummies. It was
somewhat sad to browse past all the historical facts. It again reminded me of a
time where I came here in my human life ... my husband had been so very proud
of our heritage. I was merely fascinated with the fact that people had been
able to build such structures with limited enforcements. The history - history
in general never bothered me that much it was someone else’s life that was
lived - someone else’s pain. I sat on a small bench watching the sun trickle
through the hole in the roof, “the hall of the heroes” �" it was called. I
recalled that there is one day a year where the sun would shine directly onto
the monument underneath. The occurrence had some or other historical meaning - what
it was exactly eluded me. My human life seemed to be vague it was as if I was
reminded of something that happened a long time ago. There was a group of school kids piling around the
monument everyone eager to read the inscription. Whilst I was
having an age-old debate with myself, the kids moved out to the upper level and
I realized that I was still undecided on my next move. I tried to walk around with
the idea of not drawing too much attention. My next step
would definitely need to be researching some sort of path on where to go I
realized. The problem I had was that I didn’t know what my ultimate goal was
going to be I didn’t have something to keep me going I didn’t have a someone
to keep me going. I caught on fairly soon that I didn’t have any of
the normal human things to continue my journey with. I had very little money and
only the clothes I was wearing. No car, no pets or family and clearly no
friends. Logically, I didn’t need a lot of that but I knew
that the only way I was going to blend in convincingly
at least was if I was able to act relatively normal. Without acknowledging
it, I went to the upper floor and walked out into the main lobby again. Weather
wise it was overcast which made things a lot easier. Numerous trees surrounded
the entire monument. It has big green lawns with small pathways that have
benches everywhere. Every now and then, you would come upon a section of
lawn with some or other poem from some or other famous South African writer. Again
realizing that our country’s culture was rich and enticing. For the first time
in my existence, I had no convincing argument that would deny it. The weather
and the amount of trees made my cover reasonably comfortable. It was with a
relief that I discovered the general temperatures could no longer affect me. While
living; I always hated Pretoria’s humidity it reminded me of Durban. There it
would rain and you would still want to walk around naked from the heat. The strong
smell of coffee circled the trees together with the smell of bacon and eggs- a
smell that used to enlighten me. I recalled the memory of a small restaurant
and gift shop at the bottom of the stairway leading up to the monument and therefore
decided to avoid it as food usually attracted masses of humans. I wasn’t planning
on testing my blood endurance to breaking point - not yet. I moved down
the one pathway into the opposite direction of the monument, away from the
humans. The path led me to a huge Jacaranda tree that hosted a spectacular view
on the rest of Pretoria. It was as if the gods granted my ancestors this - a
view on the population they once suffered for. In a slight shift of reality, my thoughts had
become my worst enemy and replaced my fixation in place of the thirst. At that moment,
it felt as if the whole of Southern Africa was teaming up against my existence.
Every corner I turned, every step I took brought on old memories. Memories I
once cherished. My thoughts
took me back to a wedding we had at this exact same venue a couple of years
back, there had been a bunch of horses that ran down the field, before I
realized what happened the kids - all
the kids from the wedding started running behind them. Their actions had made me frantic in getting my
husband. The kids had been young and I was scared that something might happen and
they could land up being trampled. There had been a brief moment though, a pause prior
to my frantic state where the whole incident left me speechless, everyone
looked so happy … so free. Annoyed by these memories I shook my head - I had to
start forgetting about my past, the pain it caused was to extreme and the fact
that I had no tears to shed made it so much more difficult to bear. I decided to
wait for the familiar yet unfamiliar sunset. The sunset that had become part of
my every day existence. It is the same sunset that would now bring new
direction into my life. It would reflect on the end of what I was used to and be
the beginning of a new life. As dawn
started crawling up over the familiar hills and the monument of what I once knew,
I decided to catch a bus into town. I didn’t really have any sense of direction
yet and convinced myself that it would come in time. Unknowingly whilst I was telling myself all these
little stories, I got off the bus at “Andries” Street in the midst of Pretoria.
The impact of my decision only hit me once I gazed out over the road where the
bus used to stand. There was a small pub on the second floor area that had
lights flickering in blue “Knights Tavern”.
I mumbled the name as I started
approaching it. Apparently, it
was a common hang out for bikers judging by the fierce amount of motorcycles
parked in the alley next to it. The sight was intriguing since I always had a love
for adrenaline junkies. The fact that people could have a relationship with a
bike always amazed me. It created this perception that you liked living. You
got a kick out of the fact that you could push yourself to the very brink, you
trusted yourself, your instincts �" your sixth sense. Having a bike meant that you loved life and all its little
unknown pleasures. I started crossing the street at a slow pace, whilst
still staring over the monsters parked in the alley. There was a
small staircase on the right corner of the building. Some guys where hanging
out in the doorway as I brushed past them with the idea of finding a corner and
looking content yet busy. Actually, I just needed time to figure out what my
next step would be. Where to from here?
- I wondered glumly. I wasn’t
looking forward to facing the darkness on my own as just the faintest reminder
of what I left behind made the pain bubble up in my head again. As I walked
in there was a bunch of people standing around to the left hand side of the
door they were playing darts. Further off to the right there was two pool
tables separated by a row of cocktail tables. Nothing much
of interest �" I thought. I looked straight ahead and went to the farthest
corner of the bar table a corner where there was no direct light I decided. Luckily,
the pub seemed fairly shadowed. The fresh smell of tobacco filled the air it was a
mixture of human blood old wood and rubber. The smell was somewhat comforting
even though my throat had started burning again from the mere idea of blood - so much blood. I knew what I didn’t want
to be though and that decision made me instinctively put the pain aside. As the ever
continuing battle mould around in my head I noticed a dark figure walk into the
bar area - he was dragging something behind him on a chain. People where glaring
as he pulled the chain into the doorframe. There were silent yet anxious
giggles coming from the group across the room. I stretched
myself up a bit in an effort to look behind the huge figure of a man. Behind
him was a small figure that was pulling back with assumingly all the power he could
gather. It was obvious that whatever it was had a very strong pull, something
that … it was somewhat odd. I could
here almost everyone’s heartbeat in the room I realized and yet there was
something abnormally weird coming from this creature. Abnormal, since he was yanking
at this chain with every inch of his will. Logically �" to me, one would think that it would
increase his heartbeat substantially. I imagined that it was supposed to be thundering
in my ears and yet it wasn’t. The only thuds I could hear were those of the public.
From him there was merely a light flutter. It was nothing like the THUD, THUD, and
THUD - one would expect. I was no doctor but this sound reminded me of an athlete.
One that was extremely fit. I associated it with someone that had been jogging
for miles and seemed at ease with their pace. The fluttering thump was faster
than the norm, but not thundering as expected. With all these thoughts mulling around in my mind I
decided to take a quick look once everyone was settled. Call it curiosity. I
was well aware that curiosity killed the cat and smiled inwardly at my own
personal comparison, in this case - hopefully, curiosity won’t kill the “bat”. I thudded my fingers on the bar table for
service pacing myself in an effort not to strut them too hard. Overcompensation
might just lead into me chipping away at the bar counter. Mercifully the bar
tender came up in his effort to assist. “Iet’s te
drinke?” (Would you like something to drink)He bellowed in a husky voice.
I hesitated. This was my first real contact with a human and I was a bit
stunned. The moment he turned and approached me I had
this sudden sense come over me it was as if all my senses zoomed in on his
throbbing throat. I noticed a small vain under his adams apple it was
pulsing up and down like the minute indicator on my grandfather’s old clock. I
swallowed some unwanted, bitter saliva back and forced myself to look into his
eyes - straining myself to look at the obvious and no further. I didn’t want to
know anything about him I painfully convinced myself. ”Umm yes,
vodka on the rocks and a packet of cigarette’s please, menthol any brand”-I
rumbled down my first sentence in English. I was hoping
that the taste might dampen the almost intoxicating smell of humans, while I
was yet again trying to win an inner battle. I tried to focus solely on the
dog. My senses
stretched out towards the creature that was now pressing himself into the
farthest corner of the room. He was standing up right with his head hanging
down. Hanging, as if he had lost part of a huge internal battle I told myself. The dog was
big - bigger than a normal dog he was lean yet exceptionally and surprisingly
toned. He had muscle in all the right places (Well, at least that’s what I
thought). He’s short fur had a bluish-grayish tone to it which was complimented
with white soft fur stretching up underneath his chin from in between his two exceptionally
muscular front legs. He looked up
at me in an effort to cry, “HELP”. This action, whilst seemingly normal to every
human out there made me stare in shock. He had the bluest clearest eyes I had
ever laid my eyes on. The sparkle reminded me of bright, shiny star or even the
bluest waters of a tropical ocean. I turned my head in an effort to stray away
from the penetrating gaze. I didn’t want to know anything about anyone I argued
with myself. I promised myself that I wasn’t going to let my senses leap into
overdrive. But, staring into those eyes was unjustly overwhelming. My conscious
mind started slipping into that place - the unfamiliar unconscious place. My
foot slid of the chair as I tried to keep my seemingly civilized composure. I
didn’t want people to notice something weird. As I straightened,
my back the bar tender leaned over and gave me the stuff I ordered. I reached over with relief and hurriedly whispered-“Can I have a light please?” My fingers opened the cigarette box without any
hesitation. In fact I might have reacted a tad bit too fast since the bar
tender was staring at me in bewilderment. ”Please” I said again slowly �"
shyly. I took a drag of the cigarette in a hopeless effort to
cover the intoxicating smell with something other than dog and human flesh. The
slightest idea of flesh explicitly reminded me of human blood �" hearts pounding.
It took
another second before I repositioned myself and refocused my gaze onto the dog
again. He didn’t fully smell like dog which to me meant that I needed to
investigate my subject a bit closer. As I re - positioned myself again, I
noticed that he had turned his body towards me and was now looking at me with what
seemed like eagerness. I decided to
explore whatever it was that had dawned on me the first time. I looked at him with
more focus. I pushed my elbows into the bar table and wedged my back into the
corner of the room in an effort to secure my composure. I wanted to insure that
if I did fall over the incident would be regarded as something human, something
obvious. I left the
cigarette resting in the ashtray in front of me. I positioned it in such a way for
the smoke to fill my nostrils. The fumes dampened the rest of the air around me
and made it easier to focus on the task ahead. I smiled and gazed towards the animal in an effort
to catch his gaze. I moved my head slowly until I started directly into his
eyes. I felt strangely satisfied when I realized that he was returning my gaze.
My mind
started filling with a sort of haziness a fog. I swung my arms in an effort
to get a clear view of my surroundings. Startled I realized that I was in the
middle of a square stage. There was the smell of battle in the air. Blood and
sweat mixed with something else. There were
people yelling at me in what seemed to be my confusion, my nightmare. They were
saying things like “go boy; yes big boy, yank his leg off; bite his stifle”.
And in other languages �" “vat hom ; bo die been; om die boud; op die
nek; Bite yake, juu ya shingo; nyuma
ya kichwa!“ I had this uncontrollable anger
throbbing within my veins. It was an intense anger mixed with an equal intense
sense of anticipation. Was it due to adrenaline I wondered? I have read
that adrenaline makes one do the unexpected, in some cases even the
unexplained. I gasped inwardly as my body took on its own actions and I was
jerking a leg in between my teeth. I gritted down into furry flesh and shook
the bone with an uncontrollable effort. There was screaming in the background
that made me take a step back in order to refocus. I suddenly realized that I was
stuck in someone’s own personal hell… With that in mind, I pulled myself up again out of
the fog. I urged my mind away and tore at the haziness that led me into this pit. My effort dragged me back to
reality where I could once again start focusing on my actual surroundings. As I
softly gasped for air, I realized that my skin felt cold yet damp. It was as if
I had been jogging on a humid yet cold morning. I definitely need to get “this thing” I could do under my belt and master it as soon as
possible, I thought wearily. In an effort to calm down, I took another couple
of drags on my almost burnt out cigarette. I tried to plan my next move… Without
realizing it, I had stood up and walked over to the huge man who reeked of beer
and sweat. I noticed some kind of half-finished snake tattoo covering his left forearm.
I swung my
hair back over my shoulder and looked straight at him. “Wat kyk jy?“(What are you looking at?) He asked stupefied at my
approach. I grinned back at him and started giggling softly. ”oor jy
blykbaar dink jy is “special”(Well, apparently - you think you
are special!) I replied with the effort of looking intoxicated. I love talking to a******s I grumbled
inwardly realizing what I had done. He looked at
me a bit flabbergasted. I could see it was at the fact that I just assembled the
guts and uttered the words. No one had ever approached him in such a manner. He
was clearly trying to make sense of the action. Whilst still mulling the occasion over in his head
he tried to buy some time by talking. “Dink jy
nie jy’s bietjie klein om vir iemand soos ek te vertel waste idiot jy dink hy
is nie? “ Don’t you think you are a bit tiny to tell me what an a*****e
you assume I am?)- He groggled confused. I stared up
into his eyes the fog wanting to overwhelm my senses. I paced myself and pushed
on focusing on my main aim. When it had exactly become my aim was a mystery to
me. I realized
that even if I didn’t want to proceed, it was somewhat too late to take the
words back. As usual, my mouth had opened and before I could contain my thoughts,
the wrong words had been uttered. Reality hit as I continued my quest, there
was no turning back. With that realization coming to mind, I
nodded and grinned reflecting my perfectly carved dimples. “Nee” (No), I said. “Ek dink ek
is presies die regte persoon om jou te wys wat jy benodig. Die regte size om
jou dalk net te kan wys watter buffel jy is” (I think I am exactly the
size of person you need. The perfect size that might just be able to teach you
what type of person you are) He started laughing. “Try jy my uitdaag?” (Are you actually encouraging a fight?)” he asked. ”Nee” (No)
was my reply. “Ek baklei nie met mans wat persoonlike dilemma’s het nie” (I don’t
fight boys with personal hang up’s.) I stopped
but then continued “Ek is “however”
gewillig om jou uit te daag tot ‘n arm wostel”(I am however willing to
encourage you to an arm wrestle). ”En die prys?” And the prize?) He smiled back in
question. ”Jou hond”
(Your dog) - I grinned back. ”Die mutt”
The Mutt) he said. ”Jip” Yes), I replied “The mutt”. ”Wat kry ek uit dit uit?” What do I gain out of it?)
He asked. I looked at him disgusted at his intent. “Sure”, I
said, “a little roll in the haystack, if
you can handle it…” I was very sure that he would never
lay a hand on me. The mere thought of him touching me was enough to send extreme
shivers down my spine. The action grossed me out in every way know to woman. ”Deal a*****e”,
I muttered under my breath in question. “You’re on” was his
reply. He was looking at me as if I was something chewable. ”Let’s get
down to it then” I smiled back at him. I pushed the chair out from under the table and let
my arm sag onto the tabletop. “Let’s
he said. I shifted my weight over my entire body in order to
insure my frame to the table. The mutt strode over to my side in a silent
gesture of support. I could hear his shallow growls that rumbled within the
pits of his throat. It was as if he was encouraging me to run. Instead, I looked up at the man with the huge ego and
smiled. He bent down and slumped his bulky arm onto the table. ”Best out of
one” I said. “No turning back and no second
chances”. He looked at me and laughed. “Really” he
replied. “Like I would need a second
chance”. My mouth twitched into a sideline smirk. The chain
for the dog was wrapped around the cross bar at the end of the bar, it was
close to the door. I knew that it would be effortless to break it. I had to react
fast after my winnings. ”One; two
three �" go!” - A guy bolstered next to the table. Only now did I realize
that there was a small crowd forming around our table. My actions were surprising even to me and I was the
one in control of them. My movement came without much effort or strain. I just stood
still and held my position. I smirked at the effort he was putting in. It was immensely
strained, that was obvious as there was little sweat blotches forming on his
forehead, they where trickling down his check in paths that led down to his
chin. If I concentrated very hard, I could almost hear them dripping onto the
table, down the chair. I realized
that I was growing bored with the whole display and decided to end his
embarrassment with a big display. I pulled my strength together and smashed his hand
down onto the table. The explosion created silence throughout the bar and then
slowly all hell broke loose. The table cracked under my hands sudden pressure, it
caused splinters to fly up into the air in little dust patterns. The whole
situation took it’s time and I had this weird illusion of time standing still. Finally, I refocused my gaze I jumped up in a flash
and yanked the chain that bound the dog out from underneath the chair. I pulled
at it with both hands in an effort to let it break. The chain snapped into 3
pieces and plummeted to the ground. “Go!” �" I whispered
in urgency. “Run now! I
will meet you somewhere”. He looked up at me in question with his tail
wagging in anticipation. He’s tung was lolling around his muscular jaw in
anticipation. ”The
library on Proes street” - I answered his silent stare. “Meet me
there in twenty”. With that, he
bolted for the door and I swung around to look at whatever consternation I had caused.
The man took a step back and yanked his head
up in pain. A splinter from the table was stuck on the back of his hand as he
lifted it to his face. Shocked at what had happened people looked at me and
then back at him. Fury was
radiating from his face. He grabbed my wrist and pushed me into the wall. I wisped
myself around to face him in an instant and leaped into action. I jumped
upwards onto his chest and pulled down on his beard with both hands. ”I despise animal cruelty; you should really learn
to respect nature and all God’s creations” I whispered in his ear with
disgust. S**t, I am
making a public display of myself I realized. With that in mind, I swung back
down onto my feet and kicked his out from under him. He fell onto the floor
with his head crashing down onto the chair with a big thump. ”How … how did,
you do that …” - a guy stuttered from behind the table. “With a rush
of adrenaline,” - was my short and abrupt answer. I smiled, turned around - grabbed my cigarette stash
and bolted for the door. As I trotted
down the stairs, I could here people slowly starting to talk about what they
just witnessed. This public display might cost me dearly I realized. For now
though, I didn’t care. Curiosity had overcome me once again and I was already
on my next expedition locating the mutt. STORY LINE - CHAPTER 4 �" FRIENDS The
adrenaline from almost releasing all my savageness onto a bar was still pumping
in my bloodless veins. As I approached, the main road I noticed a bunch of humans
standing on the street corner. It was a group of bikers on their way up to the
pub. ”Hi”, I
said to one of the men closest to me. He stood
staring for a couple of seconds and then decided to continue his conversation
with his mates. ”Hi”, I said a
bit louder thinking that I might have not uttered the words loud enough. This
time the whole group turned to face me. ”So tell me a
bit more about these two bikes,” I pointed a finger towards the last two
bikes in the queue. ”This one” and he
pointed to a black bike “is a Yamaha
YZF-R1 it is the newest model of the Yamaha. It is a beauty in terms of
appearance but when it comes to performance, I have to mention that the 2001
model was much better. Its maximum speed is estimated at 177 miles per hour”. I
grinned back at him - I liked it. ”And this one?”
�" I fluttered my eyes in reply. He stared at me clearly wondering whether I was
a creature from another world. ”Kawasaki
Ninja ZX-14” he replied. And…? I glared
at him in frustration. He stuttered
�" “This bike was introduced in 2006
received a worldwide remarkable response. It tried to compete with the Suzuki
Hayabusa and recorded over 180 miles per hour. The engine is liquid-cooled,
every cylinder has four valves and other features like 1352 cc four-stroke,
DOHC deserve mention as well”. ”You sound
like a bike manual” I replied. I smirked at the bike. Admittedly, I liked this one
more. ”Can I go for
a ride on it”? �" I asked. ”Can you drive”?
�" He asked. ”No, but I can
fly. “ I replied laughing at my own private joke. ”Fortunately,
for you, it belongs to me so sure” he smiled back at me. ”Great lets go
then” I said. I leaped onto the back of it and waited in anticipation. He put the
keys into the ignition, just as he turned it and starting proceeding to climb
on a big figure came stomping around the corner of the bar. It was the man I
just sloshed in the bar, “You stole my mutt,”
he screamed as he stumbled towards the small crowed. The guy
looked around at me and froze, “I’m sorry”
I whispered. “I don’t favor
stealing people’s belongings but this situation leaves me no choice. I merely
defended animal rights and my own virtue. I should have killed him but I had my
dignity to protect”. With that, I
turned the key in the ignition, glanced back over my shoulder and lifted the
bike up as I sped down the street towards the library. The drive
was exhilarating. I had to gear down - with my new senses in tack, it made the
whole adrenaline experience twice as good. I flipped through traffic with ease. I left
behind a bunch of men wrestling with the huge man that slumped out the bar and
bellowed cursing words towards me, that together with a frozen pillar of a man
now staring at an empty space of what used to be his bike. I pulled in
at the front entrance of the library not worrying about parking bays and so on.
Another day had come and gone and it was dark again. I trodded up the stairs
wondering whether I would find the Mutt. Then again, I wondered whether I
actually really wanted to find him. There was something really “intoxifying”
about him. Something un- explained. Meeting
people would only make my life more complicated - I argued
the matter. The mutt was like a mutt but not quite … he was part something
else. Maybe he understood what I said and was now waiting in the location I so
quickly thought up. The Pretoria
Library had been established in the 1887’s. This part of town was hard and
harsh with no frills. It is therefore an aggressive and starkly modern but
elegant structure with hard wearing external finishes of flush red brick,
galvanized steel and flush glazing projects a proud but subtle new approach to
public buildings in the capital. The facades had been designed to be transparent for
the public to view people using books and for views from within to the outside
for users to participate in the city. Large signage panels present the library
to the public and the National Coat of Arms and Flag is proudly displayed. Three pedestrian ramps lead the public to an
elevated square and the front doors. The open square provides welcome relief in
the harsh environment with an angled concrete corner ramp becoming a sculpture
and exciting access way. Steel canopies and sun grilles provide protection from
the rain and sun but also cast subtle shadows on the brick and glazed facades. Upon
entering, the foyer one is welcomed in a triple volume space with a floating
and circular steel / wood stair, natural light from roof lights, large
reception counter, various works of art mostly suspended from above and a
coffee shop. The foyer is finished with a granite floor and ceilings in a
combination of hardwood and acoustic panels �" elegant but not formal. The reading rooms are more colorful with a bright
red carpet and hardwood slated ceilings and wall panels. Three large wall
mounted artworks grace the large volumes �" Eleven Languages, Facebook and the
Alphabet Mural. The reading rooms can accommodate up to a thousand five hundred
users. The Library
is all about accessing information and the planning has allowed for a free flow
of information, either in hard copy or electronic. Central to the design is the
vertical movement lobby with lifts, conveyor, stair and building services. From
here, all circulation routes spread out to the relevant destination inside the
building. I stood
there for a moment trying to decide what my next move would be. There was a man
standing at the end of the passage looking at me, he was somewhat scruffy - hair
towards all directions, muscular. Very lengthy; pale and then I recognized the
eyes. I gulped back
a gulp of air as the familiar smell engulfed me. I wanted to grab a cigarette
to dampen the smell but the door had a huge sign that said �" NO SMOKING. O’ well, I decided, best I get this over with and I
strode off towards him. ”Hi “I
whispered as I got to him, I pulled my hand through my hair. “How are you doing”? “Interesting that you would ask” he replied. “Have you
looked at yourself”? “No” … I
replied a bit confused. ”Should I?” He
grinned back at me. ”Hi my name is
Rogue” I muttered, “so nice to meet
you in human form”. He stared at me for a bit and then slowly replied, “My name is Damien”. ” Damien,” I replied “what have you been up to today”? It was
my feeble attempt at making conversation. I didn’t
want to look deep into his eyes since the now familiar fog snickered at the
edges of my mind, welcoming me into the unknown. Logically, I would learn more from
it once I grabbed the courage to explore it. For now though, it was safer if he
just told me. Besides, it was rude to intervene in people’s
privacy, their minds should be theirs and so should their memories. I could see his future though if I wanted to, but I
believed that it wasn’t mine to see unless necessary, unless he wanted me to. ”Damien”,
I mauled the name over in my mouth. “Mmm”
he replied. “O’ nothing” �" I answered
back. ”So why the
library”, he asks. ”It’s kind of embarrassing,”
I whispered back. “I don’t know
what my next step is. You see I am somewhat new to this, world of yours”. ”World of mine”
- he replied. “Yes, what are you
exactly” - I frowned. “You are not a
human”. ”And u are?”
He replied. ”Well, more
than u apparently” I said. “Well, I am
sorry”. ”Sorry for
what”? ”Sorry for
not being able to turn into a bat”. ”O that.
How come you can change into a dog”? ”I shape
shift” he replied. ”Really”? I said. ”No I am a
wizard” he snickered. ”Funny” I
growled. ”So what are
you?” he asked. ”Partially dead”
I replied with sadness in my voice. ”So why are we
meeting in the library?” he repeated his previous question? ”I need to do
research”. “On what”? ”I don’t know …
on why you can turn into a dog? On what I am doing here? On who I am”. “On where I
am going ….” ”And you think
you are going to get satisfying answers” he replied. ”No”, I
sighed “but at least I would know more
than I do now”. Where do we start I wondered as I gazed down the
lengthy isles of books. “You know,
I eat animals”. “Well, I am
not an animal” he replied. “But I
might eat you when I get really hungry”. “No, you
won’t …” ”And you
know that how”? ”I don’t
have blood in my veins, not normal blood any way”. “So is
becoming a dog that exciting? Do you howl at the moon and urinate against trees”” �" I whispered.
”Do you kill
innocent people?” �" He growled back at me sarcastically. ”No, I would
never …”.I stuttered. “I would
never relinquish such pain onto anyone,” I whispered with sadness … “not intentionally”. I decided to
change the subject. “So why had you been
chained and gagged to that man?”. ”Why did you
save me?” �" he replied. ”Is this how
it is going to be?” I whispered back in irritation. ”Do you always
ask so many questions”? “You know Dog
�" Mutt- I could kill you in a breath. You could just say thanks and get it over
with”. ”Thanks for
what, for saving me out of an outcome. I would have died. I would have been
happy to finally know my end”. “Instead,
you have bound me to a new life, a life I didn’t ask for. Like a dog to his
owner, I need to be loyal to a life I didn’t ask for, and to make matters worse
I owe this to you, a bat” - he growled. I hissed �" “If you didn’t want to live why did you fight
the chains. Why did you have hope in you once you saw that I knew”? ”I think you
wanted to live more than you would like to admit” �" I replied. “You know”,
I whispered back at him in an even tone again �" “we have something in common”. He snickered; “a dog and a vampire have things in common. This must be my lucky day”. ”Well, we are
both here; neither of us knows what we are doing here nor do we know where we
are going, at least we have a whole lot of time to figure it out, and if you
like, at least we won’t have to do it alone” �" I whispered with sadness. ”I have been
alone for a while he whispered back, not
being alone seems like a good decision for now”. ”Well”, - I smiled. “We should get you out of those rags. I doubt
they would let us sit around here looking like this. Did you wrestle a homeless
person”? ”Do you like
picking on guys’ way above your size?” he muttered. I ignored
him and carried on where my question ended. “We should go and explore some food options and then come back for
research when they are open. “So what do
you eat? Dog biscuits” I grinned. ”Funny” he
replied, “a vampire with a sense of humor”.
“Have you
got cash on you”? “Sure” he replied
“let’s just grab my wallet out my back
pocket” he said sarcastically. ”O great a
mutt with a sense of humor” I said with little embarrassment, I realized
that he had nowhere to put it. ”That does
make things difficult” - I answered. ”No”, he
said, “I have contacts and places”. “How else do
you think I survived this long” �" he asked. ”Who knows”
I said “maybe they gave you steak for each
fight you won”. ”And you think
I liked fighting”? ”I could
feel your anticipation in the ring you know” - was my reply. ”So you can
see things?” he answered. “Things yes, I don’t know how to control it yet”.” It’s
kind of irritating, every time I meet someone’s gaze mist fills my mind and I
kind of loose touch with my current surroundings”. ”It’s
annoying because I don’t like feeling out of control, I see things through the
layer of mist and I start to feel things to”. ”Like your
willingness to tear your opponent apart” �" I choked. ”You know,
those aren’t normal dogfights” �" he replied. ”I know, -
normal dogs fights occur on street corners and not in a ring with spectators”.
He shrugged; “we
all have our ways” he stuttered. “I guess” was my
reply. ”I have transport,”
I suddenly remembered. “Yes”, I answered
embarrassed. “Your “owner” unfortunately
didn’t remain under and I had no choice but to console myself with Grand Theft
Auto” - I grinned. “Do you
have objections”? I asked lifting my brow. “Not today” was his
reply. “Okay then
let us go get food for the dog” - he laughed. “What, did
you vanquish an elephant?” I shuddered suddenly remembering the tiger, “no”, I blubbered. “I rather
drowned a tiger” I stuttered. ”It’s been a
while though, I think it might be time to suck on something too, wouldn’t want
to get an appetite for dog” I smiled. “Okay lead
the way”. We staggered down the stairs towards my transport.
He started smiling, “A vamp
that has a sense of humor she happens to be against animal cruelty and loves
bikes �" this day really is getting better”. ”What”? I
asked sarcastically. “Did you think I was
driving a mini”? ”Sensitive
subject - hey?” �" was his reply. ”If you are
nice I will let you drive,” I said. “If you
want us to be friends I am sure you wouldn’t mind me driving” he gritted.
“We’ll I
don’t really need wheels so blackmail won’t work”. I looked at the bike again, she was a beauty. “I guess I
can’t keep her” I smiled mournfully. “Why not”? he asked. “Well I did
steal it and I am sure they will be looking for it”. He smiled; “I
guess I can make good on some payment then for saving my life”. He got on and I jumped on the back clenching his
half a shirt. “Grosse” I
muttered. He looked back and smirked “what”. “You kinda
smell like wet dog”. He laughed, “Well
you smell like death”. S**t, I realized that I had been round and about for
a while without having even glanced at myself. I am sure that I am starting to
look like a bum myself. ”Okay,
point taken” - I nodded “food
and then clean clothes”. ”Your wish
is my command,” he stated with that he started her engine and we
sped off down the road. For a
moment, I wondered what the hell I was getting myself into but then the wind
gushed past my ears, my senses took over and I just enjoyed the drive. MAIN CHARACTER �" CH 3 Mr. Johnson you have to go to bed now I whispered at
the old man sitting in his wheelchair in the open TV room. Mr. Johnson was 93 �"
a whole 12 years younger than me. He’s bones are brittle and his cardiovascular
system is on its way out the door thanks to lung cancer. Wherever he went, he
had to drag a bottle of oxygen. Tonight was one of those evenings where I was
left wondering at how it must feel to know that the end was coming. How could it possibly feel to want to do things, but
be constraint by your body? Mr. Johnson is one of the reasons I decided to
start working at an old aged home. He still had so much “LIFE” left in him. Sometimes the thought crossed my mind �" the option
to save someone. The idea of giving them a second chance, but then I realized
what I would be doing to them. They would be left - like me, with nothing but
memories and no one to share it with. It’s better to know one will have an end no matter
how hard it might be. Sure, it’s sad, hard on the ones that remain behind but
once you have lost as much as I have you know it’s the way it should be. It is
the way LIFE is meant to be. I slowly pulled Mr. Johnson up in his chair and
rolled him down the passage to his room. I liked having him around. Sadly, I couldn’t say the same for the ladies around
here. A whole group made it clear that they didn’t want me near them. I wasn’t
that fazed with their ethics. I understood the human brain better than they
ever would. I knew that their senses warned them to stay away from me. They
would never be able to pinpoint why they hated my guts, but hate it they would.
Majority of the group had gone to bed except for Mr.
Johnson. He always had to try a little harder for some or other reason. Very
competitive old bag I smiled. He complained about everything these days. The
food and tea - the light in his eyes. The fact that we had to accompany him
when he wanted to go to the loo. He got all hot around the color when we tried
to assist him in getting him dressed or bathed. Tonight was no different, he fell asleep in front of
the TV and woke up as I pushed him down the passage. “Where are
you taking me girl?” �" He mumbled underneath his breath. “To bed for
a nice rest” was my polite reply. “I was
still watching …” “Watching
what”? I interrupted his sentence. “You were
sleeping and even the wolves in the Far East would confirm that by your loud
snoring “�" I giggled in reply. He snorted in an effort to try to convince me
otherwise but gave up as soon as we entered his room. “Why are
you always so full of energy?” �" He managed to ask as I started
lifting him to his bed. “I guess
you can say I am some sort of a night owl” �" I smiled back while
puffing up his pillows. “Would you
like some water?” I asked in an effort to finish him off for his
nights rest. “No thanks” he replied
whilst sagging back into his pillows. “I would
like for you to continue with your story though, the one about the beautiful
vampire meeting the handsome dog” I peeked down the passage to see how the other
nurses where doing and slid a pillow onto the hospital chair. “Now where
did we end it last night?” I asked. “She stole
a bike outside the bar and went to meet the Mutt.” �" He
whispered in anticipation. “O, yes “�" I
whispered while thinking back. I remember now. © 2011 NadineAuthor's Note
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