Sanity Lost

 

Months of perseverance

Seeps from my veins

Remembering a feeling

I tried so hard not to crave

With surgical precision  

I am on an all time high

Meticulously crafting yet another perfect line

Fulfilling my addiction of a different kind

 

Tomorrow is another day

Maybe finding a new way

To cope with this unspeakable despair

But today I am going to rely

On this cold, stainless piece of steel

To help me to reveal

All that I am unable to say

 

Frustrations, wash down the sink

Trying to find the balance

Inside the cracks of a unstable life

Holding nothing back

Keeping an ever watchful eye

On a fluid that never runs dry

Completing my cycle of staying alive

 

Crimson and thick

Never did I stop to think

That this addiction

Would once again become

An active part of this already torn heart

Shamelessly following this gloomy path

Right into a world so threatening

 

Forbidden friend, so quiet

Seductress of my soul

You have me hooked

Bond by a lust, with which you have me fooled  

Desiring your touch

You have left me in the dark

Staring at the aftermath of a living corpse

Now naked, covered in precious blood

 

 

Reviews

[The Tao of Bri]

A very powerfully strong poem from the depths of the core. REsigned, yet there is a glimmer of a hope and that is all that takes for a flash of lightning to cut or save. Vivd imagery..your word usage has many particualrly poignant reverberations...instilling that much more tension and release in the poem.

[Nick Erickson]

It brings to mind the act of bleeding to get rid of toxins.
One bleeding themself to rid their body of the filth, sorrow and torment accumulated throughout the day - a cleansing to start new the following day.
Very vivid, well done!!

[Lee W. Deason]

Touching in a darker way. I like that a lot. True when you said it is seductive in its attraction. I have found myself looking at this the same way in my life at times.
Like a scalpel wearing the most captivating dress.
Also good job on the photo.

[Kasey Klein]

Hi Natalie.

Thanks for the read request.

Firstly, allow me to say I love the poem. I love the ending, 'living corpse,' inferring naturally the chance of resurrection, rebirth. How, after all, can we be reborn anew, if we first don't die?

Nice terms:
surgical precision
cold, stainless piece of steel

I like the reference to the "cracks inside"... Slipping through the cracks, unseen, unnoticed by those around us.

"all time high" I think all-time should be hyphenated; however, given the rest of the poem, in context, this struck me as clich�

Well done.

[Candle in the wind]

Tomorrow is another day

Maybe finding a new way

To cope with this unspeakable despair

But today I am going to rely

On this cold, stainless piece of steel

To help me to reveal

All that I am unable to say

All I can say is that you are giving impetus to this strange craving to let it all flow out.How uncannlily vivid and powerful and my wrist hurts!!!

[Nicholas Hallows]

I am hoping this isn't written from personal experience, yet from your words and understanding of the subject it sounds like it is. For me the first stanza was my favourite. those words say alot about the struggle with the addiction that a lot of people who have never experienced SI wouldn't understand. That stanza is almost enough just on its own. NH