letter to the future (Part 1)

a little fantasy here.....straying somewhat away from my usual type of writing.

  it's an old story that
has been around for many years,
it's an old story and
it will tell you something...

 

it happened during dark times
when the wind blew much
harder than ever before,
the evil wind of
a terrible disease.

 

therefore the prince decided
to lock himself up in his castle
alone with his friends,

he thought to stay
locked up there and
to wait until the fear
and the obscurity
would yield and allow his soul to breathe,

wishing this satanic wind to blow by,

salvaging his mind and never come back.

 

in the castle there was joy
and people had a great time
eating and dancing
and nobody ever
believed that the
evil wind would ever
reach the castle
but at the end it did

despite their false sense of security.

 

I write you this story because
it sounds like some history that
repeats itself and keeps coming back,

I write you this story
because soon you will be born
and who knows how the city
will look like once that
wind will have died down.

 

I don’t know what kind of
world you will grow up in,
I only hope that you will be a
son of a new and better society.





 

Author's Note

this poem is written and mean't to be thought provoking, since it's fantasy I'm curious to see how my readers interpret this piece. There should be a varying degree of comments and what is important is I want to hear the varying opinions my readers get out of this piece. I hope you enjoy the read and let me know what this poem means to each of you. Some of you may find the story somewhat incomplete and you would be right in that judgement.....it is Part 1 of a series which I'm working on, be patient, I'm working on part 2 and 3:).......Also, if you haven't gotten the chance to read my poem Young hearts with Wings I'd strongly recommend giving it a read.....it is my little own masterpiece I consider.....would greatly appreciate anyone who hasn't read it yet to comment the piece. Thank-you, Nico.

Reviews

[Bear]

"his only hope was that he would be a son of a new and better society"... a fine wish indeed but, I believe that for society to become new and better each one of us has to contribute to making IT BETTER in whatever ways we can. Whether it be sharing our thought upon this site, chatting with strangers while out and about forming new friendships as our paths continue to cross... who knows if "society" will ever become equal for all, where it is "all for one and one for all"? Difficult it must be since obviously we have miles of improvement to attend to. Perhaps we need to STOP writing history and teaching it to our children... seems as though the history we and our parents were taught just lent the O.K. to continue on as is; repeating and repeating when up against the wall? Gee, I'm done diggin' this hole, it'll depress me if I continue. I do ramble on as I search for the words to express the thoughts within. Letter to the Future... re-read the past, learn from it and please don't repeat. ;~) Bear

[Kathleen Marie]

Very well done... I hope part 2 is on its way.

[Arlene Fleisher]

Great job! Loved it! Can't wait to read pt 2. Thanks for sending it to me to read. :)

[Phil & Bren's Colla..]

Very well written. Wonderfully penned. A great read.

[laceyjane23]

i like it! what i got out of this piece is that everyone wants their children to be born and raised in a better society then they were raised. great job!
laceyjane

[Sheila M]

What a piece! Definitely makes you think. I perceived that it could represent any time period...the present, past, and probably even the future. Whatever "disease" is blowing through will not go away by avoiding it.

[Mastermind]

Hmm, lots of little pieces entertwined up into on great idea: learn from your mistakes, and correct them as best you can. Lovely, we ought to give this to a few people who still live in the Dark Ages. Good write, keep it up!

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

fantastic piece of writing... great job!

[Dani California]

This is outstanding! I read racism/hate in this piece (terrible disease). The sad, dreadful, hateful racism that plagues our society and those who believe themselves to be the "better" race also believed they were safe from the karma which they called upon. It is absurd for one to spread hate (satanic wind) and expect that it won't return to them. I sometimes go way off course in my interpretations....lol .... but this is what I read nonetheless :)

Your writing is fantastic! I can't wait to read more....

[Nicole Renee]

I thought this was really good and that the picture gave me more of an imagery while I was reading the poem.

-Nicole

[Adam Greenfield]

First, I think this piece could stand as its own. Not that I think it should; I'm looking forward to what comes after this. But this has its own story and background, it seems. It left me wanting more story but at the same time I felt I didn't necessarily need more story and would have been satisfied had it ended there.

Second, you definitely pulled this off where I think it could have gone awry. Here's what I mean. These lines:

it happened during dark times
when the wind blew much
harder than ever before

Now, please understand this is just one reader's opinion but I think some writers (myself included) find it easy to fall into lines that may not be necessary or be right on that line of being a cliche. However, you kind of danced on the line then brought it back to being unique in its own story. I definitely applaud you for that, whether it was intentional or not... ha!

Anyway. I really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more.