Soulless & Empty

A Poem by Aurora .I.

Hopefully will be able to be on more often, though still don't have my own computer. :/ But nonetheless, here is one of the many pieces of written in my absence.

I'm a masochist to the extreme
For I lie here
With my bones misplaced inside me
Scared and cut, inches deep
They can no longer hold me steady
They shatter with the slightest blow of a breath
And my blood no longer flows for me
It has been taken and drained from my body

I'm left here
Wilted and cold
A blank expression
For I have lost my soul
I have lost one of three things that keep me running
That keeps the rhythm of my heart beating
They are my all
My life
My love
The reason I stand tall
Why I refuse to fall
Every single step I take is for them alone
Words like "love" and "cherish"
Are utterly useless
They do not convey an ounce of what I feel for them
For if they not live
I'd have no emotions
No reason
No thoughts
No action to act
No words to be said or write
I'd live without purpose
A container
Soulless and Empty
They give me the sweetest pleasure
No amount could ever possibly measure
But it is one of them that gives me a taste
Of the opposite side of the spectrum
Giving me the most horrible, sinister and vile
Bloody and cruel disaster
That sinks his unseen teeth into me
And drains me of all my praises, hopes and dreams for him
And leaves me with nothing but worries and feelings of loathing for him
But yet I continue to love him, with every inch of me
As he breaks my bones slowly and skins me while I breath
I continue to hope and dream for him
Thinking that maybe he shall change for the better
That my mothers sweat and blood will come forth
And he shall be the man I know hes been taught to be
But he only takes pleasure in killing them and feeding from me
Breaking, tossing and burning me
Why do I continue to think the better of you?
Had you not been family of mine
Had I not watched who raised and catered to you
Who lost everything for you
Had I not seen small sparks of light
Why I'd truly loathe you
I'd not waste my time
Looking for something so solid and stubborn
To change into air
For had you been any other
I'd know it'd be impossible
I'm not impractical, ignorant or naive
I know when not to trust or believe
But my heart refuses to let me leave you
Even though I so, very much want to
So thus I conclude,
I'm a masochist for you and only you
For even though you bite me
And leave scars and marks across my skin
Tears on my cheeks and an everlasting broken face
It's you that I love unconditionally
And so I can't leave you
Even if it be the death of me