A Poem by Chaos Complex

Hello again, WC. Here's a song I wrote about a messed up teenager... based on my experiences as one.


There’s a part of me I’m scared of.

Don’t want it to rise above.

Keep it in the bottom-

Like where my self-esteem be.

Wishing life could be easy,
Instead I’m feeling queasy.

When am I gonna know peace and good sleep?

I just want love in my reach.

Nothing to eat, malnourished from the lack of affection.

They say it’s just my perception.

Everything’s so dark.

The taste is so tart.

I keep looking down at these slash marks.

Wondering when these emotions will stop-

Only to restart.

My dreams seem so far,

And my psychologist just picks me apart.

Then gives me pills to pop.

Can’t even walk around these mall shops,

Without wanting to steal what I can’t afford.

Someone asked me where was my religion.

Hidden- like when I asked God to help me.

I’m so empty.

So I hang out with other loners,

That are owners of weed and alcohol.

Intoxicated to numb the feeling of no control.

And the downward spiral crashes.

Sometimes I wanna chase this bottle of vodka with some lit matches.

We’re talking about revenging on those that weren’t befriending,

Us when we were trying.

Thinking it be better dying,

Than sitting here crying and eating up these vicodin,

And mixing them with gin-

And whatever anti-depressants we were given.

Are you kidding?

I’m just a kid trying to fit in.

Feeling like a sinner in church,

It all hurts.

Why won’t you give me a good worth-

Instead of making me feel useless.

Under the influence,

Of hateful lyricist.

Looking in the mirror,

Wishing I’d be more than what you value me.

A good analogy,

Would be finding treasure in the trash,

But I’ve never felt important,

Unless you were flipping out on me about a self inflicted gash.

And as far as I can see-

It’s drugs, money, and cash-

That will give you status.

Is that why some rappers make it seem like magic-

When they’re selling crack to make other families lives more tragic?

I can’t understand it.

I’m too naïve.

What should I believe?

Maybe what they keep flashing on TV.

Will that better me?

Whatchu think teacher-

That dictates me in lectures?

Thinking you’re making me feel better-

When you’re just making me feel shittier.

Thanks a lot.

© 2013 Chaos Complex

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Added on April 14, 2013
Last Updated on April 14, 2013


Chaos Complex
Chaos Complex


I like to express my emotions and feelings in poetry. I write a lot of rap/hip hop stuff. I'm really vulgar. Deal with it. I don't get many reviews, but thank you to those who even bother to re.. more..