Grown Man S**t.

Just sharing some thoughts and feelings.

I'm so-low. (solo)

That's usually my public status.

Most people are weak critics,

F*****g around like rabbits.

This reality is radio static,

It ain't pleasant to hear about news filled with sadists.

Everyone's too busy to be a friend-

They got their own baggage.

But they'll use you to feel a little lavished.

Pop s**t, talk gibberish and babble.

Exchange a couple of letters like weak players in scrabble.

But me; I can't even be mad.

I just give my input commands like playing street fighter on a d-pad.

300 something friends on facebook, but how many will last?

I only got a handful that I keep in touch with from my past.

And I'm gifted with every smile and laugh,

Even though I'm saddened we took different paths.

Our destinations and fates should match-

Cause I use our experiences as guidance for my future acts.

So before I reenact f*****g up-

I'm just like-

"Yo, mistakes should be back- way behind my a*s."

I try to grow up without a mask,

But I can't hide the ugly things without this smile I'm used to wearing like a hat.

I used to sip Jack Daniels and Rum-

Like regrets burning my throat and tongue.

I threw it up-

Out of my system.

Tried to give God a listen,

But he never said much-

I won't lie-

I swear my heart he's touched...

Though my darkness has been lightened,

I'm still a shadow searching for something heightening.

Sometimes my existence makes me something frightening.

Sometimes I'm wounded by all my inner fighting.

And I end up lashing at random people like striking lightening.

These devilish flames need some f*****g icing,

So that's why I turn to writing.

Even if it's 4 in the morning,

This is the best way to surpass the mourning.

I need to do more path making than cornering.

I need to do more flying than sinking in-

This quicksand that I've allowed to create,

That empty feeling made by my loneliness and hate!

I'm so close to giving up on trying-

But I've got so much living I want to do-

F**K DYING.

I try to keep the tears in and forget crying-

But if a man sobs over his emotions, is a p***y after he dries em?!

F**K the word emo.

I just want to get a glimpse of hope like I just found nemo.

And I think about my choices-

Ain't no ennie meenie minni mo'-

I want to feel high without a blunt or hydro-

Don't want to be an idol-

I just want to experience peace like a refreshing reading from a bible.

But I'm far from religious-

I'm scared and superstitious.

Not STUPID,

Even though that devil's cake sounds delicious!

I've seen how the greed makes people vicious,

HAD MY OWN FRIENDS WANT TO LEAVE ME IN STITCHES.

F**K EM.

I'll never forget the scars you carved on me-

After I supported you like a damn canopy!

Illusionists; yeah you had me tricked.

But in complete honesty, YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK.

I'm wiser, watching out for these snakes and rats.

F**k with me and I'll shred up your whole cabbage patch.

You want me finished,

But the phoenix rises from ash-

Just like these homeless people will rise for cash!

I'M DONE PLAYING.

If life is a game,

I'm flipping the board and burning the case!

HEAR ME.

Lion roaring from the peak-

Simba grown up, A KING made from the weak!

Just give me some time to tweak-

This Frankenstein will be ready in less than a week!

And though right now tears stream from my cheek-

I WILL NEVER STUMBLE ON THESE FEET.

A foundation made by the heart in me-

Old Gene,

You can R.I.P.-

SWEET DREAMS,

Leave the rest to me, ol' buddy.