Soak

In pain, regrets, and insanity.

Everyday I wake up, seeing a stranger in the mirror.

I had planned to make this world mine- it's still not my era.

Caught in something else's pace and it all feels like an error-

Even my AM's are nightmares- call em day terrors.

Out of my lair, so I can stare at the sun-

Mocking me as it slowly sinks while I think.

Losing all my links- used to call em friends,

But then I smelt the stink and I dropped em in a blink.

Shiver as I dump dead weight from these bad acts.

Here you go b***h- you can have your hatchet back from my back.

I feel paranoid like my life is televised-

Fucked up-

Something like a movie; Vanilla Sky.

Roll me up and burn me-

I'll get you so high,

But I'm really a cigarette-

Kill you from the inside.

When I spit my rhymes,

Endorphins have a mosh pit in my mind,

And my pen-is having sex, inking on the paper which I write.

Get the script pregnant with the amount of 'f***s' in my sentences,

All of my sickness will then have birthed elegance.

Darker than the Black Swan dancing ballet,

With a hand grenade in the middle of my gift of a bouquet.

Pray to a God who'd have mercy on a son,

Who has blood on his hands,

And just figured out what he's done.

Knowing he isn't worthy,

He buries the God in an attempt to live 'normally'.

Not anarchy, but without help from the pharmacy,

F**k all your rules, society can just pardon me.

I lie through my teeth-

Biting down on sympathy:

The breast of a woman who I'd worship as a higher entity.

And if that Goddess abandons me,

There's plenty of fish in the sea.

But for now I'll just soak in the tainted lake of the misery that's me.