To Father

Sometimes it's a good day to die

Sometimes Father
I did not know what to think of you
You were gone from my life
From the house, from us all
Whether on a round-up or a rodeo
Or drinking binge or other women
All I know is you were gone.

Sometimes Father
Oh the joy you would bring to me!
When you took me with you
Or when you stayed home
Calling me Number One Son
Swinging me around or teaching things
That only Father could teach.

Sometimes Father
You made me cry.
Sometimes Father
I wished I could die
Just so you would not look at me
With your withering eyes.

But oh how I loved you
Longed for your love
Begged for it sometimes.

In those final days
Before you left us
You reached for my hand.

Your hand, hard and calloused
Years of ranching,
Killing sheep,
Building things,
Chopping wood,
Breaking horses,
Rustling cattle,
Living hard and fast.

I held it as you wept
Calling me Number One Son
This time you were begging
Asking me to forgive.

What for, Father?
Nothing to forgive.
Go in peace, my Father.
Now go in peace.

Reviews

[Wolven]

This is truly beautiful writing. It makes you think about your own relationship with your father, whether you have one or not, especially this close to father's day. Personally, it makes me feel glad i still have mine with me. I feel a kind of deep spiritual vibe emanating to me from the last few stanzas with the theme of forgiveness. Your imagery in this is beautiful, and it's just so brilliantly emotive.
More people need to read this I think.
Truly amazing poetry.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Bless you for reading and for commenting so nicely on this poem. It was a hard one to write I admit. Be thankful for still having your father with you and be sure to cherish its moment. They go by so quickly. I will be sure to read your work too, I really appreciate it, man. :)

[Debbie_Philly]

Oh WOW OB this is sooo beautifully sad... it breaks my heart.... oh so raw and intense with emotions... it truly touched me... great piece !! :)

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you, it was a hard one to write but am glad I got it out.

[Debbie_Philly]

xoxoxoxxo Sad.... good work though !!

[Emily B]

my dad didn't have time to reach for my hand and explain, but a few years after he passed, we worked things out

i'm glad i read this

[OBWhiteHawk]

I understand what you are saying, and anytime and any way that you can work things out is a good thing. I am glad you read it too and left such a nice comment!

[Baby Ricochet]

This is a beautiful poem and presentation. I typically don't like music with poems (distracting) but this worked beautifully. Outstanding job!

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you! I have read some poems with music that really did seem to add to the experience of reading, and I was trying for that with this one. I wish I could get the player to automatically start instead of having to be pushed manually but oh well. Thank you for appreciating!

[DIVYA]

There is indeed no room for forgiveness, only love, for our near and dear ones. The poetry touched me for I saw every shade of my own father in it. Fathers are like that. Their love is not spoken but felt.

You are a great poet. Its a pleasure reading this beautiful, stirring poem again and again. Thanks a lot.

[OBWhiteHawk]

I am glad this touched you, and that you could feel your own experience with your father. I pray that you and I have found peace. Thank you for saying I am a good poet though I have my doubts when I read the other work on this site! I am always learning.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Damn no place to edit your comment that I can see? I meant I pray that you and HE have made peace, not you and I.

[DIVYA]

:) Thanks and you are welcome.

[Tree]

The poet here is a wise soul, and he has learned forgiveness. Very relatable and moving piece. Thank you for sharing this WhiteHawk.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Oh thank you Diego. I appreciate your reading and commenting.

[Sirius King]

very personal and sincere write, i could relate to having a distant father

thank you for sharing this

[OBWhiteHawk]

I think a lot of fathers in past generations were gone a lot with work and other diversions. But at least they were in our lives, some do not even have that these days.

[Sirius King]

Very true

[NA]

Very touching :)

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you for reading and commenting!

[Quill~]

You have written a touching piece. To show forgiveness and love, one must let go of all the resentment...and you have. This is an intimate look behind the door of your heart. Well penned... sad and beautifully expressed.

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thanks! Life is way too short for holding on to negatives. The Native way is to move forward and only look back when it is of benefit in a positive way. I am not perfect by any means but I strive toward that outlook.

[Quill~]

a priceless write. a poignant piece.. My pleasure.

[Rita L. Sev]

This is a poignant poem, strong in the images of your father's hands. It is only as adults that we can see that our fathers were human, not perfect, and we appreciate them even more... Well done!

[OBWhiteHawk]

Thank you so much for reading and your thoughtful comment. You are right, when looking at him from an adult perspective I see things so much more clearly.