Soul Mates

This is just a little something i threw together this morning thinking about my soul mate. everyone has a soul mate, im lucky to have found mine already..

They say, 

opposites attract, 

& I never would have believed them if we didnt cross paths, 

If im the sun, 

you are the moon, 

and together, 

we make the world turn, 

 as it spins,

 so do we, 

enchanted and unknowingly, 

you're so dark, 

and im so light, 

but a mixture of us is such a site, 

we're just two souls, 

who happened to meet, 

fell in love, 

ever so deep, 

and in those depths, 

we became one, 

two souls bound, 

forever in love, 

when you cast the rain, 

I bring out the sun, 

The puddles you left behind, 

I'll quickly clear up, 

if your the cold at the end of december, 

im the hot summer air in mid august or end of september,

like these things, 

we need each other, 

to make the world work, 

in awe and wonder, 

never doubting, 

or left to question, 

a soulmate is something, 

everyone should be blessed with.

Reviews

[Xxxxxx]

A soulmate is definitely something everyone should be blessed with but it is so extremely rare. Me being a person that believe a deep love to and/or from a significant other is extremely rare, reading this poem made me fantasize of such beautiful feeling. Wonderful poem.

[Chris]

This one deals in "softnesses" and left a smile. Your or you're isn't really a quandary when you think on it.

[mattavelli]

Hello, Oh! :)
This is a lovely tribute to your love. I suggest not using commas where they aren't needed. Also, there is a "your" that should be "you're".

[Lorry]

Sometimes, things are just meant to be, fall into place, align in the right order and we know without thinking that it is right. Those are good days to have. Nicely captured.

[OhSnapShley]

Very true. Thanks for the review.

[Anindita Janhabee]

So sweet and fascinating...
I rightly agree to this...
I like this writing so much...
The description of sun, moon and the world turns out to be something...
something so wonderful..
To be frank, I never believed in the terms of boyfriend and girlfriend.. those are so abused.. polluted terms...
but what I really believed in is the term soulmate...
even I have a poem of same title...
so I picked this up!
I wish you stay blessed with your soulmate ........
Regards,
Anindita...

[OhSnapShley]

Im so glad you liked it. I will have to give yours a read. Thanks for your kind words :)

[Anindita Janhabee]

it's my pleasure...
and there's no such rule dear....

[dipsy]

This is a nice piece...😊

[OhSnapShley]

Why thank you Dipsy.

[ReedWrite]

This is beautifully said.
Reminds me of Yin/Yang...the concept that you need both light and dark, happy and sad, day and night, beginning and ending, long and short. Without both, you are not complete. There is no absolute good, or absolute evil. No absolute light, or absolute dark...one does not exist without the other...but the trick is to find that balance between both. I think you have found the person that balances you...and you balance them.

[OhSnapShley]

That is exactly what this is. Thank you for reviewing.

[Ted Kniffen]

Soul mates. Life is so much better if you find one. One compliments the other, but doesn't have to be exactly alike. Good write.

[OhSnapShley]

Very true. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

[FIN]

The poem is beautiful and captures the intended emotions of finding the ones you love gracefully.

Critique wise:

"never let the love walk out of your life,
because once you become one,
thats where your soul resides,
and you can never move on,
if your soul isn't in for the ride."

These five lines (although certainly align with the story and progress it forward to an end, felt choppy to me; out of sync with the flow of the poem.

But otherwise, great emotionally driven piece.

Well done.

[OhSnapShley]

Thank you for your review. I will indeed come back and try to edit this one so it flows better. Thanks for your input.

[OhSnapShley]

Edited! Let me know what you think about the revised version.

[FIN]

Personally I found the imagery of this version near the end much better; but it still dissolves the rhythm of your poem near the end, which could and could not be used for your benefit—I'll let you be the judge, this time.

To expound: You have around 27 lines of your poem ranging from 2 - 5 syllables, which keeps the rhythm of your poem quite low in scale. (Which is fine; longer doesn't equal better.)

"But when you break that pattern it better be for a good reason."

(Perfect example: Line three breaks the pattern into 15 syllables, but offers wonderful insight into your mind state and adds a little slice of imagery; I'd say worthwhile, so as a reader, I feel satisfied within the whole ordeal)

Look at it as give and take. You set the tempo for the reader (creating an expectancy within their minds) and if your going to take that away from the reader, what are they getting in return? Or rather, what are you "giving" in return.

Still a great poem. Nice work. I'll let you puzzle this one out; and remember. Have fun!

[D Connolly]

I like the poem overall, I think it is very sweet. There are 2 spelling issues that I saw, "I'm so lite" to "light", and "were just two souls" to "we're". The rhythm in the beginning is spot on and towards the end it changed to a different rhythm; I don't know if you did that on purpose, but I thought it broke the poem up a little. As I said, overall I really like the poem. It's nice to see a happy, straightforward poem. I really love the rhythm of "as it spins, so do we, enchanted and unknowingly"

[OhSnapShley]

Thank you for your help!