Painting Flowers

21/6/13 To fall with wings of freedom is to succeed; it is that bird whom flies with stained feathers that meets failure

Painting flowers in the sky
Leaves but one ashen cloud
To fall discreetly;
To needlessly meet me
With a charcoal breeze of summers past,
By antique eyes whom too were paused
By bitter snakes.

Autonomous spines are tickled with the grip of paltry enclosures,
And dance to the door marked 'anywhere',
No care
Nor change in bold complexion to the hopeless
Who presupposed our plunder
Under bloody ice.

I dream of strides that print a blinded road
And blossom,
Into letters in books carved with comely thoughts,
Resting as petals,
On a concrete stairwell
Forever.

Farewell fragility,
The emptiness that crippled me,
Now desolate
As paternal poise and absolute protection.

Bright leaps are in marooned manacles,
Our falls are gracious
When flying with envisioned feathers.

Reviews

[Dana Alsamsam]

i really enjoyed the dark, fantastical wonderland feeling you have going on here! i particularly enjoyed these lines:
"I dream of strides that print a blinded road
And blossom,
Into letters in books carved with comely thoughts,
Resting as petals,
On a concrete stairwell
Forever. "
words resting as petals on a stairwell is such a beautiful image that almost reminds me of the way we document and publish poetry to rest on the concrete stairwell of the earth forever. you've definitely painted flowers with this work and as a sucker for alliteration, i commend you on your work with that, too! lovely.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you so much for you great interpretation of this, we all want to paint colourful words onto the worlds dreary surfaces, and as writers, making its unnoticed small details beautiful is desirable. I too am such a sucker for alliteration!! Thanks again Dana :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

never a problem! i am becoming a fan :)

[Pragya Saxena]

Imaginations... ! Extravagantly brilliant !
a fabulous read...

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Pragya! :)

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...:)

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you for reading Sami :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).....

[Emily B]

these words sent me flying, it is something about flowers today, the rose of sharon bloomed last night when i wasn't looking, somebody planted black-eyed susans haphazardly in a ditch, and the chicory is starting to show upu along the roadsides, okay so maybe those are more like weeds, but they are painted pretty colors

[Ohhhwillow]

Flowers of all colours and shapes are appearing at the moment, and what a delight to the eye it is! Thank you for reading Emily and I'm glad you enjoyed this :)

[Frieda P]

Painting a lovely portrait of independence and self introspection I'd say.

"When flying with envisioned feathers'

We should all be so lucky to have that clear view before us, nicely pen'd Willow.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you for reading this Frieda! I is highly appreciated. :)

[Frieda P]

The pleasure was mine Willow, lovely read. :-)

[Tai Ryens]

How marvelous, to inhabit the world of imagination, only to find that imagination is reality as the world turns against you. You'd like so very desperately to return to reality, but what you thought now IS reality, and it scares you; hence 'flying with envisioned feathers.' It's been awhile since I've read something as enticing as this, well done.

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you Tai, as usual you have hit the nail on the head! However it is you always manage to figure me out, I'd love to know! Your review means a lot, I'm glad yo liked this. :)

[pasdepoisson]

Are the painted flowers an Alice reference, perchance?

I really enjoy your tasteful use of alliteration in lines like:
"Who presupposed our plunder"
"books carved with comely thoughts"
"As paternal poise and absolute protection."
"marooned manacles"
"flying with envisioned feathers"

I imagine these lines read with a bit of a Scottish lilt- not sure if that's accurate.

[Ohhhwillow]

Perhaps it is, Alice in Wonderland is to me such a magnificent tale! Full of beauty and adventure. I am Scottish though my school is predominantly nglish so I have a mixed accent, though I suppose it would indeed work will in a Scottish lilt! :)

[Lover Of Words]

Each stanza is more amazing as the next wonderful write my dear amazing job

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you for reading Kelsey! :)

[Lover Of Words]

My pleasure! :)

[Luke Rawlings]

I had to read this a few times to truly grasp the meaning, very powerful imagery. I may as well just copy and paste a message that says "Great writing, well done!" on most of yours that I read :P

[Ohhhwillow]

Haha now that is a comment I would gladly take over and over! :) Thank you Luke, especially for reading this so carefully!

[quinfinn]

as i was reading this i was impressed by each stanza progressively...this is not random, it is perfection in verse. you amaze me with your writing skills, dear Willow!

[Ohhhwillow]

Thank you quinfinn, I have been away for a while, however I'm back now and will make a note to look over some of your work! :) You're much too kind haha, though I am glad you like this good friend, that means a lot to me!

[quinfinn]

i adore you writing style and am impressed by your gift.....you'r always welcome

[Baby Ricochet]

Gorgeous pom Nodleeehead. I love the Farewell fragility Stanza. Outstanding work young lady.

[Ohhhwillow]

Mark, SILLY, I'm glad you liked this although it's Willow, not Noodlehead!