Return To The B.U.F.F.E.T.

   Some of you may remember the tale of the B.U.F.F.E.T that I posted, well I just returned to the scene of the crime, I mean dine. It's nice that people remember you for whatever reasons. I parked here early this morning and just got up and went in for the morning barfette. The waitress is an old friend, me met August 28th. past and never saw each other again until forty minutes ago. I sat in the restaurant and she came to my table with coffee and said, "You're the guy with the knife, right?"
"You remembered me! I touched." I said.
"You have that effect on people." she replied. "The manager was pissed at you that day! He threw away that roast, wouldn't let us have any. Need a menu?"
   Some people take things too seriously. I decided to graze at the buffet, I catch alot of back ground conversations while sitting in the restaurant. People complain about the most trivial things. I like to eat, don't get me wrong, been doing it for over fifty years, but some people have no other purpose in life other than making someone else miserable. "My coffee's cold, I can't cut the pancakes, what's the gray stuff next to the hash?"
   I wouldn't work in food service because I'd have simple answers for simple problems, or simple people’s problems. "Drink your coffee the same day it's poured, bring your own knife, and if you don't know what it is don't eat it."
   Eating is a less complicated for me, I glance around and if I see people puking I don't eat what they're having. I eat, and any meal that doesn't require more that one trip to the head to get rid of is good. Having a good time while dining is even better.
   Remember, "Fast food" is not a reference to the time it takes to prepare, it's a reference to the speed at which it leaves your body.
   So breakfast at the barfette was uneventful, I made the waitress giggle, it only required one trip to the head to jettison, and I offended some woman who’s' head was screwed on too tight. I shouldn't mention how tight her pants were. I bring joy to people when I dine, some find joy in my being there, others find joy in my leaving.

 

Reviews

[JC]

Ok as soon as I stop laughing I'll write a review.... still laughing....

"Remember, "Fast food" is not a reference to the time it takes to prepare, it's a reference to the speed at which it leaves your body." almost lost it at this point.

Well written, great use of imagery and just downright funny.

Kudos!

JC

[Jet Lag]

:)

[Rain]

This piece was terrific, even without me knowing the root of the story. Definately, comedic talent, which I think is the hardest writing. I love this and want the first part. Rain..