Cardboard wings

A true story from my childhood . Looking back there's a lot to learn from that I guess

He looks to the skies .A dream in his eyes .He spreads his wing .cardboard wings 
Full speed ahead , Leap to the skies ,Opens his eyes .broken wings 

Falling to the ground . Tumble and twists .Hit the ground .crimson wings 

He looks to the skies . Tears in his eyes . " Pleas ?... "

Author's Note

A true story from my childhood . Looking back there's a lot to learn from that I guess

Reviews

[FumiTuki]

This had a fantastic rhythm and rhyme to it, portraying a lot of emotion in so few words. The line 'crimson wings' creates such a strong image in my mind, and the parallelism between the beginning and end make it so much more effective.
The fact that this really happened is heartbreaking, but I hope it didn't stop you from reaching for your dreams no matter what! :)
A very beautiful piece, in my opinion.

[Matty Bosox]

This was more of a poem than a story...Regardless, it was very good....I love the ending, "Crimson wings" very myseriously eerie...Now was this a near death experience?? Either way, very good poem.....I say poem because if this were in story form you could've described so much more detail.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Dude, you should totally turn this into a poem! It's very cool.