Lifeless Intentions

I was gone. Travelling the universe on a boundless star, I felt the sun's heat burn my translucent face. It was a war between the world and I. Or was it? My small eyes carved the opposing moon and I smiled. But with that, came the tear of infinite illusion. Planets watched my diminishing body as I attempted to step forward. Stones etched my wounded feet as I felt every ounce of my skin shred into wrinkling papers. My long fingers searched the banished stares but, they were missing. For darkness had devoured my frame, and I was now floating in a space of obscure emotion. Where had I vanished to? Had heaven liberated my sins? Or would I rest in this endless memory for eternity? Slowly, I felt delicate strings plunging down my bare chest like simple feathers kissing the remains of my wistful body. Sorrow chained my creasing hands as I allowed the peaceful twilight to swallow my misery. But it hadn't been the end. For soon, the horizon's reflection would enter me, and I would glare at them. But it wasn't judgment which charred their masks, it was the pity of a thousand galaxies. My damaged soul burned a path towards reality, as I witnessed my own drying carcass, spinning in an absurd myth. For the girl who once smiled truly, was enslaved in her own torturous dream.

They asked, how they could save her. They questioned her will for life, but the revelation of it all would shock them. For the only being who could aid her, was her own lust for air. 

Author's Note

Read it, and tell me what you thought about it. Thank you for being here!

Reviews

[Ardra]

So true... the only person who really can make a difference is us, in the end it all comes to that....if only we love to live.... lust may not be sufficient :)

[PandaPeaceful]

Quite exactly. Thank you for the review.

[barleygirl]

Your writing here is out of the universe! I love all the astral nuances and the way this journey feels like zooming thru space, as you throw out seemingly disjointed ideas & observations, which are only clinging together by little wisps of continuity. This astral journey seems to be enjoyable, rather than what one might expect as the final dying gasps of life. Maybe that's to signify how death feels attractive to some who are sick & tired of living. Your final sentiments are hard-hitting -- we can only save ourselves (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Tobes]

"...the remains of my wistful body...." and "...which charred their masks."
Lines, imagery like this are what move me as a writer and reader. I love pieces like this that take me on a voyage to what feel like infinite vistas. (I may have to use that line in the future, haha)
This is the first thing of yours that I've read so far, and I will be looking at more, for sure. I wonder if you are native Swiss, because your command of English is great. (Meine Deutsch ist sehr schlecht.)
From a constructive standpoint, for me it would have created a greater sense of anticipation if the main body had been broken up into two or three parts. I'd have been breathless to travel between the spaces in between. Just a thought.
Thank you for posting your work. I really enjoyed this.

[PandaPeaceful]

I am a native Swiss. But I grew up travelling around the world, speaking English. By the way- not too bad.

You are completely right. Thank you for the kind review!

[penny gingyrose]

this is highly vivid and descriptive. i'm intrigued! is any more gonna be added to it?

[PandaPeaceful]

Thank you! I don't think so. My words have expressed what they desired to release.