Imaginary Therapy Session

Basically I thought of what would happen if I go back to my psychiatrist n what he'd tell me to do.

I'm going against all things grammar like and just typing from the heart.

 

you ungrateful son of a b***h. after everything i did for you for the past month. after all the time i stayed up all night praying for your safety (and i don't f*****g pray!) after giving you my heart and willing to throw my life away just to help you because you need me more than you think! you never even said thank you. all you kept saying was "why do you care?" or "you n everybody else need to stop caring about me" did it even f*****g occur to you that your life means something to people? that it meant...means* something to me? the fact that i held on to my love for you for 8 years  (as long as i been diabetic. you're so f*****g selfish! its obvious that while you were trying to push the only person who'd still give a f**k if you lived or died and you used me. yes, that's what i said, you used me. my relationship is ruined thanks to you. i planned the rest of my life to include you in it. i was gonna let you do all those things we planned together...not even we, YOU. who was there to take you in after that one incident with (she who will not be named) the mere fact that i didn't take you because she said so...i let you back in because i knew you were hurting and i knew something bad was going to happen and i knew you were going to be sad and depressed and i didn't want you to go through what i've been through for so long. i let you control me, i let you vent all your frustrations to me and leaving nothing for myself, because i know that if i tried to let my emotions out to you, you'd lose your temper so i kept my f*****g mouth shut. i let you f*****g get away with murder. who else do you know that would take you back after such an epic betrayal? a lie like that is hard to forgive and i forgave you for that and i opened my arms and heart to you and you completely trampled over my heart like it was nothing. why would you do such a fucked up, cold hearted thing to someone you say you love and someone you know loves you?! what could've possessed you to do something so stupid?! i don't even want to hear your reasons because this is my time to vent. i hate what you put me through. i hate what you've turned me into. instead of the love and compassion i once had is replaced with anger and sadness. i lost even more weight because of the stress you put me through in one f*****g month. 

let this be a lesson to you to never f**k around with people's emotions because one day you're gonna bump into the wrong person, you're gonna mess with them the same way like you did to me and they're prolly gonna f**k you up. i forgave you for one lie....i can't forgive you for this. i don't know if i'll ever be able to forgive you. 

 

*exhales*

 

Okay, doc. I think I've vented enough.

Author's Note

I have a reason why I threw grammar out the window here.