Demons

Spirit of my silence I can hear you, but I'm afraid to be near you
And I don't know where to begin...

May! It's the month of May???!

I'm not even going to go into how maddening that is.

Whenever I'm under pressure and stress I tend to write more..

It just makes me feel the world of crap I'm trying to carry on my shoulders disintegrate and disappear.

Right now I'm under far too much pressure. Mainly because it's the final stretch of school and I've got lots of things I must get done!

I was thinking today about being an adult and my future...

Being an adult scares me..and I miss how things used to be...but life just keeps going.

We can't do anything about it.

What alarmed me the most was a thought in my mind.

I was walking downtown and an old man sat on a bench watching me.

He hit on me and laughed...

What happened next just made me cringe.

He called out:

"You're short!"

"You're really short!"

As a 22 year old girl who is 5'1 and has been quite small and petite her entire life, comments on my smallness have never really bothered me. I got used to them.

This time I really wanted to march up to him and say:

Do you know WHY I'm so short? I was born too freaking early. You could fit a blasted ring around my leg because I wasn't growing. They all said I'd die but I didn't.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I KNOW I'M SHORT!

Thanks for the observation!

What on earth is wrong with me?!

Normally I'm very kind hearted and I've never had the desire to really lash out at a complete stranger who is probably just a sweet, lonely old man.

It's probably the stress.

but what if it's happened?

What if I'm a bitter adult? What if I've become the woman I vowed to myself I'd never become?  

Have I officially entered the world of being a grown up?

Have I been broken? I hope not.

I've been dealing with failure an awful lot lately...and sometimes I wish I could just become Icarus and hurl myself off a cliff. (I'd never actually do that..it would be terrifying.)

.

Perhaps I just need love.

The person I want lives across the sea...

I think it would be really good for me to fly to him.

Sometimes all it takes is some nourishment for our starved souls..

I know for sure he'd give mine great food.

Sadly packing up your bags and flying costs money...and I don't have enough just yet. (Almost there though!)

All I know is I am fighting off demons.

Thankfully tomorrow is a new day.

Tomorrow is May.

Things are going to change for the better.

Summer is coming!! That fact makes a very excited Kathryn.

I live for summer!

I think I'll just breathe in.

Breathe out.

Life is never easy anyway. If it were easy it would be boring.

How would we ever learn?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsGODTySH0E

Reviews

[AaronFreitas]

Awesome story! Being an adult is scary... everything in your world now depends on you... not mom and dad. That's the scariest part. And 5'1" isn't short for a woman it's cute :) haha ignore that old man he's trippin! Loved the story... try not to stress.... good job :)

[Kathryn Smith]

Aw thank you!! :)

[AaronFreitas]

You're welcome :)

[Church]

Hi Kathryn,

You expressed your thoughts very constructively here. I'm not usually in to this type of literature, but I can get on board with this. I read a couple of your stories and I'm glad I did.

Thank you for sharing.

[Marie]

Hey, I'm shorter than you; only 5".

You've got to learn to kick people, and kick them hard, and in the right place.

[Kathryn Smith]

haha! Best review EVER! :D Thanks!

[Tomorrowneverknows]

wow! what sweet song!...you are not really short ! 5'1? Who said that stupidity???

Your writings are very sensitive and thoughtful . Please don't be afraid because you will keep going like life.

- Jesus