Where I am

All my life I wasn't trying to get on a highway

I was wondering which way to go

Spending all of my damn time

trying to leave the weight behind

A lot has happened in my life already.

I know I'm young...

but I'm young and annoyed.

I know I shouldn't be annoyed..

but I am.

Every time I turn around my classmates, peers, and friends are getting engaged and then married.

They're getting the dream come true day.

The day we all secretly hope for.

It's a glaring reminder that no one is wanting to marry me.

Of course I'm not completely alone..I've got family and friends!

All I want is someone who I can call my future.

Someone who looks at me like I am magic. (You go, Frida Kahlo!)

I don't want to rush my life...and I know I've got miles to go...

I don't even want to get married right this moment.

but my biggest fear in general is never finding anyone at all.

Never being able to come home to someone at night.

Here they come...

Here come all the pictures.

All the happy faces.

Elated couples.

Proud parents.

Parents who are looking at me.

The wheels in their heads begin to turn.

Their eyes gobble me up.

Here they come...

Here come the comments and questions..

hmmm...

You graduated with my daughter!

....What are you doing these days?

The way they say it.   

They way they ask is like a punch in the stomach.

It's as if the girls I graduated with are apparently one step ahead of me.

Gradated college.

Good solid jobs.

Are getting married.

Life is definitely in check for them! Whohoo!!

And where am I?

Still In college.

Knowing I'm heading into a fulfilling job.

But becoming a teacher means I'll be screwed if I continue to live in Wisconsin.

Where am I?

Dreaming dreams that people laugh at.

Saving every penny for a good future and getting lots of eye rolls.  

Where am I?

Completely and utterly lost, unsure, and scared.

What am I doing?

I am wishing on stars and hoping with all my might.

Hope is the only way we can hold on and keep charging down the path.

Wish me luck!

Here they come....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dtIjyG9gTg