Beggar for Love

Beggar for Love

The ticking of the clock

masks the conversation

relived in my head,

of the promises you made

but didn’t keep.

The DVD is simply background noise as

I float in this bloated,

black ocean of your silence

where deceit has cast me.

Yesterday I had plans,

I had dreams; believed in us.

Today, everything is smashed

like driftwood upon rocks

in a raging Norwegian sea.

In those waves I now drown,

a simple beggar

who was hungry for love

and driven to swim,

despite the undertow,

to catch the tide of hope.

 

06/08/13

Author's Note

Reviews

[SHEEMA HUQ]

I do not envy his situation, nice writing John.

[Leslie Philibert]

this has a lot of very strong, visual imagery...

[TL Boehm]

the bloated black ocean of your silence. A stellar metaphor. thank you to Archangel gabriel for sending this to me as well as some others sent.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you TLB. Gab is a close friend.

[SteveB]

"Driven to swim despite the undertow to catch tide of hope" The perfect description of the Romantic soul. Not hoping without evidence of reason to hope but hoping despite the evidence not to hope.
The last few lines, once you got into the image of the sea, were stellar.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Steve

[Meesh]

I feel as though each poem is an installation or chapter to a deeper, all-encompassing narrative. Like each is a different facet to the enigma that is John. It's provocative, and I like it. Thanks for sharing!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you so much Meesh.

[Mark]

clear and erudite. I'm so sorry to see you join our little club once more. :(

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Mark. I guess there is some reassurance in knowing it is a club.

[Claire Twinn]

Oh no, so sad! But I know you'll catch that tide again...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Claire

[Jack...]

John, my friend. I know this feeling all too well. the what ifs, the whys, the what did I do wrong and what can I do to make it better...to make you see? Some people just can't see. The journey is too difficult, though they may act like it's not. This is not a good feeling, but it will dissolve eventually, the feeling that is. The sad, sick, empty feeling will be replaced with something completely different, perhaps something very new and you will at that point understand why these things happen. Life is a puzzle and each day another piece is put in place to slowly reveal the big picture. Sorry, no box top to show you what it will look like when it is finished, but you will know when you see it. Nice, but sad write my friend.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Jack I do not understnd how someone can take you from such hope to dispair in a matter of hours. Am I so naive?

[Jack...]

We all are John, we all are. It is called, "Blinded by love". We may see the signs but we refuse to accept them. I am sure right now, inside, you are holding out hope and that may be ok, but you have to realize it may not be either. Not knowing the full breadth of your circumstance, I can not comment as accurately as I would like, but I do know the pain you are suffering and I am so sorry for that.

[Frieda P]

You spill your guts and hopes on the page my friend, it's a messy ordeal this thing we call love. The silences are deafening when we're left in the dark. Strong and effective read, hope it proves cathartic John. You're in my thoughts.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

No. denial is melting and now I feel the waves that swamp me.