Chasing

I was chasing you
like a long lost dream
so silly of me
as if i should chase you

I was keeping up
until the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind

I was on your heels
like the hounds of hell
like a woman gone mad
chasing you

so silly of me to chase you
as if i should chase you

I almost caught you
rain came and drained me dry
i fell behind
just a bit behind

so silly of me to chase you
as if i should chase you
you’re always one step behind

Author's Note

i just decided to see what came out as i set here.. this was/is it
strange and befuddled..

The picture is of our snow we finally got two weeks ago ! :)
So pretty

Reviews

[Celtic Cat]

Oh my gosh....I absolutely LOVE this piece! I picked out this as a favorite part:
I was keeping up
unitl the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind
It's so genius....I can actually see you stopping to pick up all your polka dots...how fun and original. The ending also blew me away....a brilliant twist. The whole piece is just fabulous, if you ask me. Good write!!

[Carole]

I love the pic. of the snow first off. Beautiful-Breath taking. Since we rarely get it here, I love looking at pictures. This has such a fun, whimsical feel to it. I grew up in the Midwest so snow was the order of the day. I can still feel the flakes on my face...dancing in the snow, making angels, forts, having snow ball fights, & spinning cookies in the parking lots.

What a fun picture Chloe. I especially liked:

I was keeping up
until the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind

What imagery. Why I see a black and hot pink polka dot dress, I do not know?? But, I do. :-) A spontaneous and fun write. Thanks for sharing, lady. (((Hugs!))) Carole

[R J Askew]

i LOVE verse two...the idea of the polka dots is very visual and charming, yet also disturbing as it slows your chase. And I like the twist at the end which has a dream like confusion about it and frustration about it. Perhaps your spontaneous write allowed you to plunder your subconcious. When I try and do it right now...I find my reason is watching and waiting with a 'not on my watch' expression. You could do a LOST POLKA DOT sequel...I am into the polka ... ............. ....... ...... .... s

[Astrid Hamilton]

Chloe,

I encourage your readers to click on the photograph full view to see what you saw in it when you wrote this piece. I don't always correlate snow to "cold";
this picture, the images I get from it are beautiful;
astounding to make kisses and snow angels in it,
rather than dismay,
the feeling of "chasing" someone.
Thanks for your encouargement!

Astrid

[TamiViolet]

Oh, my Chloe, I had signed off then accidentally stumbled upon this beauty,
and I had to come back. Such insight and creativity! 'so silly of me as if I
should chase you..'...exquisite to say the least...images are...well, I'm
without words. Into the favs dear. And onto my page.
X

[Brianna Brie]

Great one! Usually when there is a good game of chase, the pursuer is the runner and the one being chased wants to get caught. Delightful way of saying it with polka dots.

[Rain]

I liked it..lighthearted. Good piece. Saw one minor typo "until" the dots. Cool piece. Rain..

[None]

I really enjoyed this, your writing is very beautiful and I love your words....
"I was keeping up
unitl the polka-dots blew off
my dress
I stopped to gather them
fell behind"
The whole poem rocks and makes me think and think again. The ending is so perfect as well!

[Just Manoosh]

I love this! you have captured something in me that I needed to be reminded of. Something of past.

Eloquently done.

The polka dot line blasted into my memory box (my heart ....).

Strange and befuddled not! direct harmony ... most certainly.

Mx

[Robert Luna]

Oh I really loved this. Gave me such ideas for other pieces. Mmmm I love how you tend to inspire me so with your words. I love the thought behind this and the way it flowed itself like drifts of snow flakes. Made for a great start to my evening.


Great Job!!!!!!

[Emily B]

How wonderful! I always said that a man will chase a woman til she catches him. . . you've said it with such sunshine and fun. I love this!!!!