Sunday's Generation

Here

Sunday 

  grinds at your heels

Blonde sips into 

lipstick parched eyelids

 

Taste wades 

 Laps over salty memory

Whiskey neat 

  Parisian overtone lit cigarette

Struggles are no more

No more

 

I have come from a bad time

Found strange warm peculiarities 

Bodies

  by the river

Undressed like morning

 in a warm jar

 

Here

I will tell you of hands tangled with

Halucination

Measures 

  emptied into waves 

Shingled spine

 dialing through fluidity

Draped and exposed 

Potions 

stirred from the yellow old photographs

Hung like feverish children 

   branches from the gum tree

 

Amazing pounds with 

staggering black-bone cheeks

Gardens -

growing in empty cells...

Apples Athenian  

 

Here

Sunday blooms at your bed

Postmortem 

Letters half writ into

Father

Into the mountains of Tibet

 

And yet

  you have come to me

Weary...

So much so

I take up the hammer

The voice of sword and cello 

and pray you remember that

We are fated,

Bricks from

  a perfect generation

Reviews

[MAC]

no matter how long i am away, every time i return you do nothing but get better. i say that because have always been a big fan of your writing and truly do not know how you seem to create such works. bravo

[Perdition]

I fnd it mostly in a combnation of strong wllled reigment for the absence of eminent sway...Jumping across our need for some false ledge so to speak. That along with the formidable reviews seen to always be pushing at the muse...sometimes downrght flat on her face.Thanks ! Always appreciated Mr Cottermbe an..Always!

[Nightfeather]

Your poem and writing is very lifelike and lacks no emotion, depth or awesome epic words. I like the way you construct your sentences but one sentence sounds odd: "Like teeth in some shiny jarred rapturous apparatus". It disrupts the flow of your poem by including this: "shiny jarred rapturous apparatus". I suggest to change this to something less lengthy but your poem is still awesome.

Good job :D

[Perdition]

Perfect!...Loving this review. It is, as always a wip and originally it was shorter but something about that "imperfection" made me consider the suggestion of giving the reader a moment in awkward pause to perhaps wonder if this generation is a perfection or ?? ...Thank you Nightfeather and I will most definitely think hard on whether or not to return it to original form or let the devil just lie right smack in the middle of this Sunday. Tough call~

[Nightfeather]

Your ideas are really interesting and I hope that you will reach an awesome conclusion but until then, good luck :)

[Perdition]

Appreciate the help Nightfeather

[Nightfeather]

No problem :)