Table Of Contents

ALL THE THINGS AND HOW TO DO THEM

All The Things And How To Do Them is a self-help book designed to guide you in becoming profficient in all aspects ofd life.  The table of contents lists all of these tips and may feel free to skip to any one that catches your fancy.  But to get the full effect of the book it is best to read them in order.  Have fun and good luck!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER 1

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

-How to listen to the music of Justin Bieber

-How to Make a Mai Tai

-How to raise adults

-How to write left handed

-How to drive a stick

-How to kill the moment 

-How to braid hair

-How to lucid dream

CHAPTER 2

PERSONAL INTEGRITY

-How to win or lose with class

-How to win at any cost

-How to frame someone for murder

-How to launder money

-How to defeat a Minitaur

-How to tell if you are trapped in a labyrinth or just a common maze

CHAPTER 3

HAVING A 'KEEN EYE'

-How to estimate the length of a shoelace 

-How to throw a punch

-How to throw a fight

-How to throw a lit match

-How to match your tie to your shoes

-How to tie your shoes

CHAPTER 4

STAVING THINGS OFF

-How to stave off infection

-How to stave off hunger

-How to stave off a vampire

-How to invent other things to stave off

CHAPTER 5

BEING THE BEST

-How to reach a consensus

-How to beat a lie-detector

-How to beat the system

-How to cook beets

CHAPTER 6

SURVIVAL TECHNIQUES

-How to survive a plane crash

-How to navigate a corn maze

-How to navigate a corn labyrinth

-How to tell the difference

CHAPTER 7

PERSONAL FINANCE

-How to run a successful lemonade stand

-How to stand perfectly still

-How to fake your own death

-How to collect life insurance when you are believed dead

-How to go "incognito" in a second world country after faking your own death and collecting life insurance

-How to speak enough Spanish to get by

CHAPTER 8

PLANNING FOR 'END OF LIFE'

-How to reach back from the grave to exact revenge

-How to avoid being buried alive

-How to see the flaws in your plan

-How to accept being buried alive

CHAPTER 9

VALUING RELATIONSHIPS

-How to convert silver dollars into paper dollars

-How to deliver a proper kiss

-How to read facial expressions

-How to think about someone else, for a change

-How to think of them, not as flaws, but as characteristics

-How to let go of jealousy

-How to de-value your posessions

-How to rename regret

-How to be inside a moment

-How to face your lover with all the truth you have concealed and say, "I am sorry.  I was wrong."

-How to accept that forgiveness is not guaranteed

-How to be at peace with this and understand that, for once, you have done the right thing

-How to regain lost trust

-How to know when love, itself, is not enough

-How to separate with dignity and respect

-How to look back

-How to heal

-How to look forward, once more

-How to set up a Tinder account

CHAPTER 1

GENERAL KNOWLEGE

How To Listen To The Music Of Justin Beiber

1- Find a comfortable place to sit and listen.

2- Breathe and clear your mind

3- Sound quality is important, so use a high fidelity speaker.

4- Place the speaker at the proper listening distance.  A mile or two should do.

Reviews

[Myra Fellows]

I had no idea this was 3 years old. This is some funny stuff. I came back to read it again because I needed a laugh.
"How to kill the moment"....

[Myra Fellows]

Oh my Goodness.
I laughed...out loud...so many times.
Ok, first off..the spelling error in the first line threw me... "in all aspects ofd". I was trying to figure out what ofd was....
Here is what made me laugh...like the loud one..the one you can't stifle...the laugh you let out on a plane or a bus and everyone turns around...granted we are all wearing masks so no one will ever know ever anymore...
The labyrinth and common maze in Chapter 2 and then again in Chapter 6...Brilliant!!!'
The entire Chapter 7 seems like maybe you have considered it...
How to accept being buried alive in Chapter 8...
I love how serious and thoughtful Chapter 9 is..and then you blow milk through your nose with the last line...setting up Tinder account

I love setting up the speaker at least a mile away...but come on Phillip..you know you love Justin...The Bieb...I didn't want to...but then I saw his performance on Saturday Night Live..."yummy"
Try not to love this Phillip...the magic begins at 1:18...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9DBJsXtays
-Myra