Shadows

Shadows

Evil secrets fester deep beneath

The choking smoke and mirrors

Of this tainted black skied land

A cruel indictment of today’s humanity

 

Disturbing

Devastating

Destroying

 

Shadows

 

Controlling the lives of many souls

 

Second hand syringes suck toxic juices

From a rusted heated spoon

Then squeezed seductively slowly

Into the only vein left not collapsed

 

Painlessly

Pathetically

Paralyzing

 

Shadows

 

Concluding in a fatal tragic overdose

 

Below an unkempt flashing street light

A hooded youth less than sixteen years

Eyes bulging with sheer astonishment

Falls from the blade piercing his chest

 

Unwarranted

Unnecessary

Unfeeling

 

Shadows

 

And another mother cries for her lost child

 

Unanswered prayers to our many Gods

Has yet to cleanse abounding wickedness

That for now appears to go unchecked

And lets these afflictions go on and on

 

Hostile

Hopeless

Horrendous

 

Shadows

 

When will a purifying light shine once more?

Copyright @ Phillozofee 2020

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

It goes deep...cuts right into you from start to finish...you can edit this to give the reader more impact within your lines:

Evil secrets; fester deep beneath

Choking smoke and mirrors

Of this tainted black skied land

A cruel indictment of today’s humanity



Disturbing

Devastating

Destroying



Shadows



Controlling the lives of many souls



Second hand syringes, suck toxic juices

From a rusted heated spoon

Then squeezed seductively; slowly

Into the drug vein left; not collapsed



Painlessly

Pathetically

Paralyzing



Shadows



Concluding in an fatal tragic overdose



Below an unkempt flashing street light

A hooded youth less than sixteen years

Eyes bulging; with sheer astonishment

Falls from the blade piercing his chest



Unwarranted

Unnecessary

Unfeeling



Shadows



And another mother cries for her lost child



Unanswered prayers to our many Gods

Has yet; to cleanse abounding wickedness

That for now; appears to go unchecked;

Lets these afflictions go on and on



Hostile

Hopeless

Horrendous



Shadows



When will a purifying light shine once more?

But you decide...its your work...just giving my constructive critics on the entire ensemble...

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you for your insightful review and suggestion Glen ... :-)

[Glen Yumang Manese]

Anytime...I'm in and out of here again...will do my best to give constructive critics...working at new material as we speak...took a hiatus for a while...you're welcome...

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A philosophy, almost, lingers within the cuts made to reader, relish the pain, well done, good read.

[LKBillips]

Wow, this one had really good movement, almost like a beat of a drum. I really like the wicked visuals and thought the ideas very well conveyed.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Your kind review is very much appreciated... :-) Thank you

[Ted Kniffen]

Very well done Phill. Evil has and always will dwell in the shadows. In the face of this astonishing panic encircling the world at the moment we forget that some of the old evils are still around.

The only suggestion I would make would be to change 'an fatal tragic overdose' to 'a fatal tragic overdose'.
Just a grammar thing.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thanks Ted - and also noticing the grammatical error - will correct now. Be safe my friend...:-)

[Ted Kniffen]

I will friend...you as well.

[barleygirl]

Since this started out a little vague, I was trying to read it as if it could apply to any number of curses, but then your poem became so specific & direct & biting & detailed, it was impossible to read it any other way than for what it's written about. I love a straightforward message & this one hits it hard. I love the form you use of the single alliterative word stacks, not only for the pause it creates in the reading, but also for the very thoughtful word selections used (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Many thank yous Margie - you humble me with your review! And especially the ((HUGS))... :-)

[emmajoy]

That accompanying picture forewarns the content of the tragedy you've posted, Phil! It's horrific, was tempted to move away.

The creeping dread in the writing takes quite a hold, the ugliness it represents: the syringe, the blade growing more and more visible. Your words hit hard by the time one's half way through. Your wording is always powerful but this really does control thoughts until - so it seems, the very end. But am now wondering if certain phrases will come back to haunt me. The topic is hell.. absolute hell, raw and painful. Absolute evil, written superbly

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Oh Emma... hope my write doesn't give you nightmares... I'm only expressing realities challenging our society in these trying times! Bless you for the review.. next time I will work on a comical smiley piece ... A smile and metaphorical hand hold your way this morning ... :-)

[emmajoy]

No nightmares, Phil, mainly cos i seem to doze better by day than sleep well at night!
read moreNo nightmares, Phil, mainly cos i seem to doze better by day than sleep well at night!

Seriously, what you've written is tragically and cruelly true. Our streets, society, is turning in on its contents: life is killing itself.