Mike's big night out

Mike sat at the bar, sipping on a cocktail. He took a handful of salty nuts from the little bowl, ate them and gazed at the bar-tender, who was short and squat, just the way he liked them, but he wasn’t getting any of the signals that he wanted. He finished the drink and she turned around and smiled at him, long brown hair, red lipstick. He ordered another cocktail and she started lifting bottles, poured them in a glass, finished it with blue liquid and a miniature straw umbrella, placed it on the bar mat and smiled at him.

‘There you go, beautiful. Anything else I can get you?’

‘You know what the other thing is, Carla.’

‘Davie, honey, baby, you know I got a boyfriend.’

‘Yeah, yeah, I know.’

He swiveled around on the stool and looked back out the window. It was raining outside, the sun setting, the night setting in, and then the door opened and a woman walked in the room, two friends traipsing behind her, all dressed in black, long hair and dresses and leather jackets.

The first one walked up to him and stood at the bar, and he sat, mesmerized by her, the way her hair hung down her back, the shape of her. She ordered and Carla made her and her friends drinks and then she paid and turned her back on him and handed the drinks to her mates and he leaned over and tried to listen in but couldn’t hardly make out their conversation, and then they walked off and he suddenly felt tired, saw that it was getting late. He stood and took one last look at Carla, turned and made his way outside.

The streets were packed full of people and it only made him want to get the hell out of there, and yet, he felt within himself, the need to get one more drink. The night had turned cold, cold enough so that he wondered whether or not it was even worth it, but he kept walking. He came to the street corner bar and saw a lonely bar standing on it and thought, what the hell.

An old mahogany door stood on the corner of the main road with a sign in the window that said ‘open’ in bright red letters, buzzing on and off, half of it, not working. He pushed on it, and was delighted to find an empty bar, walked up to one of the empty stools and parked, and it was just right for his height, in fact everything about the place was just right for his height, and he had to marvel that he hadn’t found it sooner.

He sat, enjoying the feeling of his feet on the edge of the stool, the softness of the leather, the positioning of the bar mat, and the little light show behind the bar. Who knew, maybe, he had finally found the perfect bar? The bar-tender had her back turned; long blonde hair dangling down her back, a black velvety dress. She turned around and he sat transfixed by what he was looking at.

At first, he thought it was make-up, for it couldn’t be, there was just no way that he could believe that what he was looking at was real. Part of her face was shorn off, revealing teeth that were an ever-present white, the skin around them, surely mortified, and curled slightly, as if, cured. Her eyes were huge and black, her nose, only bone, the skin around it protruding. She stood, eying him, polishing a glass, hair hanging down, limp on her shoulders, her eyes looking at him as though he was actually being rude.

‘Can I get you something, mister?’

‘Uh, I’ll just have a beer, thanks,’ he said, unable to take his eyes off her.

She took a tall glass from behind the bar and stuck it underneath a tap and pulled on it, the golden liquid frothing perfectly, looking as if it was about the best beer ever poured, and it wouldn’t have surprised him if it actually was. He took the glass and sipped at it, the beer, cold and delicious in his mouth, then turned and got another shock, struggled again, to comprehend what he was looking at.

A creature, sat, huge, and slumped over the bar, next to him. Mike sat, staring at it, transfixed. It had two giant horns that protruded from its head and curled outwards, that could have belonged to a giant ram, which was what the creature partially looked like. Mike looked down and saw that its two legs were actually goat’s legs. Its skin was black, and looked coarse, and had long hair flowing down its back. It sat, sipping a drink, from a long straw, looking at the bartender, then back at Mike, as though, aware of his stare.

‘She’s got a nice a*s, hasn’t she?’

The voice was perhaps the deepest he had ever heard. Mike sat, incredulous, unable to comprehend what he was looking at.

‘It’s why I come here every night.’

The creature sat then sucked on the straw then pushed it forward on the bar, and the bar tender smiled,  then turned and put the glass in a sink, selected a new one, started opening bottles and pouring various liquids into a metal container, shook it about and poured blue liquid into a glass. Mike couldn’t take his eyes off the creature, was transfixed by the muscles in its face contorting. It leaned forward and sucked on the straw.

‘Lime Mojitos, could never get over them…You? What’s your caper?’

Mike sat and felt his throat tighten, tried to speak but no sound was coming out. The creature sat and then, after a moment, looked up at the bar-tender.

‘You don’t talk much, do you, boy?’

It pushed the glass forward, as if contemplating it.