"Breath Me"

A poem I started writing for a girl that pretty much screwed me over BIG time. And it pretty much describes, if I say 'I love you', this is how I feel.

A breathless breast means a lung lacking of on time oxygen.
I would carry an ox for a gen...eration across a deserted nasty nation,
pull the life out of the ox and give you an eternity of eternal internal exhale.
I would die 1000 times over to see you smile 1000 times before you die.
you ask why?
simply because i need you more than the sun,
and all i need to seal this deal is a son, or daughter.
I'mdying of doses of a present absence,
abstinence referring to i cant embrace you simply sexually,
sex actually isn't even what it's about.
People say they wish they saw your face in every picture,
but not me,
because a sincere sin searing would tell me to break every picture because it's just another reminder that you're not here,
and I hear a clarifying clear message that massages my mind into clarity.
It's scarin me,
how much I care, and how much I would share.
I share the fact that I wouldcare even if you treated me like a dog.
But I know you won't because I have faith in that lastword reversed and capitalized. Capital eyes word revered reverberations about my love for you.
There's nothing I wouldn't do except do nothing.
I'm huffing and puffing,
and it brings me back to you lying on your back bringing no air,
and once more, your absent air flow makes me feel f'en low,
and I would create a life longing for nothing less than everything by carryin the Earth on my shoulders till we found a planet with air for you to breath and I could take the Earth off of my ground shoulders and rest my shoulders on the ground of the Earth.
Upon laying next to you I notice that you're breathing broken gasps.
I'm grasping for my broken life in your life of broken grasps.
But i'll never let go,
just know,
the one true knowledge is no, I don't stop going for your heart.
As I reach the end, it brings me back to the start,
and i'm giving you CPR.

Reviews

[Broken.]

This is very interesting. I like the thought process and how the words naturally flowed. The play on words was amazing, and I could relate to the passion one would feel for another (:
I look forward to reading more. I feel that my writing is somewhat simliar to yours, maybe its the topics...
Review some time (: I would be interested in hearing your opinion.

-Juliana

[Simple_mee]

Hahaha...Awesome, its lovely.
"People say they wish they saw your face in every picture,
but not me,
because a sincere sin searing would tell me to break every picture because it's just another reminder that you're not here,"
I liked these lines very much. Way to go!

[Nicole]

O_O This was amazing, haha.
no wonder you got first place. :D
"I would die 1000 times over to see you smile 100 times before you die."
That's my favorite line.
100/100