"I Just Want You To Know I'm Trying"

"I Just Want You To Know I'm Trying"

A Poem by PoeT4994
"

This was really really hard to post. Critique if you want, but this is pure honesty. It was a really dark time in my life when I wrote this. And I was in too much pain to describe.

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Hey, I just want you to know I'm trying.
I'm sitting here at 4:26 AM tattooing I Love You on my back so that even when I'm walking away, you know you mean something to me.
I'm remembering the poems I wrote for you.
And wondering why I'm writing another one.
But, hey, I can't get you off my mind.
I never thought I could lose grasp of my mind like I have lately.
But things do shake a little differently when it's your world that's falling to the ground.
You know, I've changed a lot lately.
The stars started shining a little brighter, although they're still not as glimmered as your eyes when you look at me.
I know, that you're hurting.
I'm not asking that you forget about the pain, but let me at least patch it up.
I said I want you to be mine, you're my girl and I got you.
But forget that...I want to be your guy, and still have you.
I ain't gonna let you fall any more.
My arms won't hurt.
My kiss, won't seem like a struggle anymore.
It won't burn.
It won't burn to know that you love me.
You can rest easy with your heart in my hands this time.
It's a fresh start.
And just like the rebirth of the sun, it'll be brighter than ever before.
Me and you, we haven't reached our peak yet.
We still have room to climb.
And you know you feel it too.
I'm hurting.
You're hurting.
We both are.
For our own reasons.
And I don't blame nor doubt yours.
But we can work, together, to fix this.
Now, this, may not be the most poetic thing out of my mouth...but hey, it's what's in my heart.
I'm sitting here, at 4:41 AM wondering why I'm writing this.
Remembering all the good times we've had.
And all the good times we can still have.
I wanted you to be my first for everything.
And, Erica, I have yet to have a girl take me back.
I'll never be perfect.
But I can learn to accept my flaws, and accept yours.
And accept the fact that you'll love me, regardless.
So I can stop walking around in costumes of shadows.
Hoping that if I blend, things will just coast by me.
I know, that you love me, regardless.
And I know, you know you love me regardless.
I'm not trying to go back to the way things were.
I'm trying to go back to the way things should've been.
Take my hand.
And trust me.
Just a little.
Just enough for me to win you over.
The last person I think of at night is you.
The first person I think of when I wake up is you.
And the last person I want to see, as I'm fading, is you.
I know I messed up.
But I'm not asking you to forget it.
I'm asking that you don't throw me in jail.
Keep me on parole, but don't lock me away.
Not yet.
I'm walking on a thin line, but as long as you're standing with your arms open at the other end, I'll make it across.
I've been falling a lot lately.
A lot less than normal.
But still, way too much.
My knees and elbows are scabbed.
And one is still bleeding.
When you sleep, I want you to remember the smiles birthed under the days we shared.
It's 4:56 AM.
And I'm just wondering.
If you heard as you drifted off from the phone.
Me whispering, "Hey, I just want you to know, I'm trying."

© 2010 PoeT4994


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Added on August 1, 2010
Last Updated on August 3, 2010
Tags: I, just, want, you, to, know, i'm, trying, poem, poet, Erica, poetry.