The Ocean Sunset

The Ocean Sunset

(Ekphrastic)

 

The water calms

Into a gentle ripple

As the day meets its end.

The sun steadily dropping

Further and further,

Until dipping into the ocean.

The immediate sky surrounding

Its arch, awash with shades of orange.

The water aglitter with

The richness of the sun’s descent.

A lone grassy island suspends

As a float, only stationary.

A permanent fixture in an

Otherwise moving ocean.

A sailboat lounging in settled waters,

Its occupants undoubtedly enjoying

The ocean sunset.

The yellow orb sinks further still,

Until leaving a glow of orange

Which paints the evening sky.

A bird flying high

With the colors of the sunset

For a backdrop.

The tender moments when

The sun slumbers.

Shutting tired eyes from

A day of lighting up the world.

A day well kept

‘Neath your shine.

Sleep now, sun,

For tomorrow will soon come.

 

Melinda McQueen Rodgers

September 27, 2021

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a well-crafted poem of imagery, with a gradual sensation of "sinking" as the day is ending. I think your poem is beautiful just the way it is, but since you read-request me, you know it's my duty to point out that your poem lacks an appeal to ALL the senses. When writing a sensory poem, don't get stuck on what things LOOK like . . . tell us what it SMELLS like, what it SOUNDS like, what it TASTES like. Also, instead of describing most things directly ("sky awash with orange") try using metaphor/simile, comparing one thing to another or describing in terms of something completely different: "dome is dripping tangerine juice" . . . or: "campfire flickers across the sky" . . . keep stretching! (((HUGS)))

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for taking the time to review my poem. I do take it into consideration. Keep helping me grow. It is appreciated.

[emmajoy]

'The water aglitter with - The richness of the sun’s descent. - A lone grassy island suspends - As a float, only stationary. - A permanent fixture in an - Otherwise moving ocean.'

How I admire writing like yours with its brevity of words but - such an abundance of beautiful phrases. You took me there, I saw, I felt and would love to stay, waiting for tomorrow.

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for reading and leaving your much appreciated review.

[emmajoy]

Still wanting to stay!

[Chris Shaw]

Beautifully calming and descriptive. You have penned a painting Melinda.

Chris

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for reading and leaving your much appreciated review.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.

[Coyote Poetry]

Wonderful and good words shared dear Melinda. I love to see the sun fall into the sea.
"A day well kept
‘Neath your shine.
Sleep now, sun,
For tomorrow will soon come"
I agree with the above lines and thank you dear friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Melinda McQueen]

Thanks for reading and leaving your much appreciated review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Melinda.