Dear Lookie Troia

A Woman i hold dear to my heart!!!!

Dear Lookie Troia

 

 

I’m sorry that I hurt you

I’m sorry that there was no true love from my end

But it was simply lust and infatuation

You said you didn’t want a relationship

You were looking for something else that you didn’t want me to be

You said it twice

But by the second time

My chemistry of the physical with you was already in a state of mental confusion

I apologize for wanting to always spend time with you

I apologize for expecting more from you…when you only had little to give

I apologize for having expectations that where more than reality could handle

It wasn’t just me…we both made a choice we can’t take back

The difference between us was that you were able to separate the physical vs what was in your heart about me

 

Yet, my insecurities got the best of me

It definitely tested me

I wasn’t patient with what we had

Or what could have been if i were to be patient

I wasn’t the person that was just simply your friend

And allowed you to be yourself

Like It was way back when

 

I can’t turn back the hands of time

If I knew the day I met you on the boat in Jan 2010, after not seeing you for 4yrs

Would lead to this…I would have sacrificed my feelings for the value of friendship

Everything would be different if you could read these words im saying

Instead I made the choice to erase my existence as if you never knew me

If it could make your heart heal better in time

So when you see something like this come your way again you would think about what happened to us

 

I don’t think I will ever get close to anyone

I do think I will learn to be more patient

I will work on understanding my own actions

In order to not repeat this with anyone else

Deep down inside

I still want to say I love you

I love you so much

On the outside

Just the thought of you burns a whole in my heart

Because of how it ended between us

 

I ask God for you to forgive me one day

As I have forgiven you

I ask God for you to remember the good and not the bad

As I will remember you

I ask God for you to not hold onto the past and let things go

As I decided to let you go

I ask God for you to be happy with the person you want or have in your life

As I will have one day

 

Just remember when I lay my head down at night

I think of the good times we shared

I think of how we first met

I think of our jokes

I think of our connection

That we have like no other

I think of your pain

I think of your family

I simply think of you

Even if I never ever see you again

 

Goodbye Lucana Ann Troia aka Lookie

I will miss you

 

 

 

 

Dyanna aka PoetiqueSouL© 2011