Gym Shenanigans - Five A Side......

 

Seriously, I cannot believe they’re starting a FIVE-ASIDE SATURDAY INDOORS FOOTBALL LEAGUE! As I read the poster there's so much information, now I'm intrigued.  It says top prize to give away and a special visit from the Patron of the 'Darling Buds of May'. I Wonder who it might be, guess I'll have to join up and wait and see.  Wonder if it's a famous football player like 'Beckham' or then again, it's more likely going to be the Lord Mayor from Peckham. Mr Beckham would be perfect and just what this club needs, to have a famous person grace their presence in our club would be great for our clubs profile indeed.

By eckers, back from my daydream, what else are they going to offer in our club?  Hmmmm.... 5 A side... wonder if that includes the sub?

 

Apparently all welcome to come and have a go, indoors sounds good, wouldn’t fancy doing it outdoors in the snow.  Looking for male and female teams, wow, how times have changed it now seems.  Doesn’t say that they can’t be mixed,  yet all the guys’ teams look sorted talk about fixed. I doubt the guys would have wanted to play with girls in their team; sometimes sexism can seem quite mean.  Who needs the boys we will give the as good as we get.  Come on lads put your money where your mouth is, and make a bet.

Just thinking about it now, I'll ask Josie's, she's not a bad player for a lass. I doubt it would be up Susie's street, she's got way to much class!  As for Rosie, I know she'll join up like a shot, anything to do with David Beckham, she thinks he's hot!  As for me, football is definitely not my thing, but I'll gladly help any charity to raise cash and chip in. I would still much prefer a day out with the girls mind you, out shopping in Harvey Nicholls with a few cocktails later is what I’d much rather do. 

Still one player short need to find a 5th person to join in, hmmm, maybe I should ask Bronwyn. She's always game for a laugh and will do anything to help out.  Oh maybe not, I'm sure she's been suffering from gout!!! I'll try Penny, she's definitely game and in for a pound, I'll give her a buzz to tell her all about it and invite her round.  That's it, my team is sorted, lets hope it all goes to plan and theirs enough teams that it doesn't get aborted.

Such a sacred sport played for years years by men and now women are playing more and more.  They play equally well and yes fella's women can score. Yep, women are playing football at a professional level today, move over fellas, women football teams have come along way. However, it is fact that footballers have the best legs in the world sexy bad, saying that cyclist’s legs are mighty fine I hasten to add.  If I had to choose between Beckham & Armstrong, one without the other that would be so wrong.  Two of the fittest men on this planet, legs made of steel and both with abs as hard as granite. (just guessing.. lol)

 

There’s so much information to take in, need to be clued up about rules don’t want to come across nice but dim.  If there’s one thing I’ve never been able to understand about football, and that’s the off-side rule.  Guess it wasn’t something I was taught in school. Not even my brothers could explain this part of the game. I'm sure it's when the ball rolls off the pitch or maybe that's not quite the the same. lol!  

Anyway, I'm sure we'll do our best, play as good as we can just like the rest.  So many things to remember about the game.  One thing for sure those things they call Penalty Shoot outs can seem quite lame.  Only watched a big match recently on TV and nobody had scored, by the time they got through the Penalty shoot outs I was bored.  One team took their shots and were hitting that ball into the back of the net. The other team, didn't play as good and lost the match and probably lost some poor sod their bet!

 

The best way round it is to play like I know what I’m doing, and if anyone says anything I'll pretend as though I'm just jesting. Memories come flooding back to when I played in school. Went in for the tackle, tripped up over my own feet and fell flat on my face like a fool! It wasn't funny and my back side hurt like hell.  Maybe this time I'll wear something padded made out of gell. There were so many spectators back then who came to watch that day....lost all my street cred and any chances of impressing and getting together with Ray.   

Yeah... Ray was our schools young loves dream at only fifteen, he was the hottest thing back then and looked like James Dean.  With his gorgeous hair and smoldering good looks, every girl had his name scribbled on their textbooks.

Not sure how I'll fare all these years later, hmmm last time I heard how Ray was doing, he was training to be an actor.  lol!

     

It seems, the 5 A side isn't actually taking place in the gym as there is no room, it must be down at the local indoor astra turf club I presume. All for a worthy cause, as I read down the list I stop for a pause.  Yep it says to be held at Soccer Five Indoor Club, it says here, teams of 5 and one extra to sub. lol!

Blimey, it’s programmed in for the next five weeks, and the winners of the league get to play with a real club and learn more football techniques. Charming, why doesn't it suprise me that the prize is geared towards the MALES, that's so not fair. That needs to be changed to something that 'we' all can enjoy and share. After a quiet word with the Manager of our club, he's offered the females a free pass, a massage and a soak in the jacuzzi tub. Nah, I'm sure I can ask for one better than that, a friend of mine is in the know and well in with a premiere club, now that's a fact.  Maybe if he can pull a few strings, we'll get to date a dishy player from this premiere league club, hey, we won't mind if he's ony the sub. 

  

All for a charitable cause I’m pleased to say, all proceeds are going to go to the local Hospital charity called ‘Darling Buds of May’.   A wonderful cause indeed, I’ll gladly sign up to do anything to help all those families in need. But to win the league would be a bonus and also get the opportunity to present our cheque to the Darling Buds of May's hospice. 

 

Right enough pondering, where do I sign, yep right their on the dotted line. There's loads of teams already signed I see, look there's just room for my team and me. Typical of lads with nick names they give themselves down at the pub, some sound really silly. Why on earth would you want to abbreviate your name and reduce it to Willy!

As I read the list it’s made me laugh out loud just thinking of a nick name. Can you imagine some one calling out..."Over here Willy...on mi head' during a serious game.  Thinking long and hard (no pun intended) as to what my name should be.  Hmmm, not that, no not that either, think I'll be sticking to the name my mother gave me. 

  

 

As I’m about to scribble my signature down on the sheet, I hear a voice call my name out… I turn round and it’s Confident Pete. 

 

 

“Hey BB, see your signing up for our first ever ladies team, good to see your keen” he says.

 

"Hi there Pete, yeah I'll do anything to help out, if your struggling for a player don't hesitate to ask and give me a shout'.

"We've already got our team signed up" he declares. There's me, Gary, Larry and Barry oh and not forgetting Harry.  But if we need a rub, umm, I mean a sub, I'll give you a buzz". 

"Oh right", as I try not to sound too astound I can't stop thinking what a creepy perverted hound.

 

Definitely going to keep my eye on the *Sleaze ball*. If the girls get wind of his sleaziness, there's bound to be a brawl.