Fire

Welcome Death

I start sweating as I approach the wall,

the wall of smoke and black,

My heart starts resisting,my mind just went blank

I'm welcoming death, there's no going back.

 

It starts getting warmer,melting I am

I have enough air as in a tied-up sack

As I grow nearer, my foot cracks,

I'm welcoming death, there's no going back.

 

The flames engulf me,

I think- in fact,

I was as brave as you,

I welcomed death, and didn't turn back.

 

~Dawn

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Please give me all your comments and suggestions, I openly welcome critics...and I want to do the best I can to improve my writing.

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

original in its theme a definite plus.You rhyme haphazardly but you do rhyme You pay no attention to meter which is the essential ingredient to writing poetry.
There are rules to writing poetry except modern free form which has no rules and very rarely good poetry
The acide test is to read your work aloud or better still have someone read it to to you.
If it rolls off the tongue like warm honey it is well done if not re-edit and rewrite until it does You have a talent for rhyming but need to control it ivor
I assume you wanted honest critique ivor

[Cheryl]

The way you write is very interesting. It's not the way I would have done it but everyone works differently and this seems to work for you. Poetry may have rules, but why should every building have the same structure?
Thanks for the welcome and whats the points for?