What If...

My feelings they may relate to more than one of you.

What If...

What if everything people tell me

Is just a lie,

A story they want me to believe?

What if all the acts of kindness

Is just that,

A act, nothing more, nothing less?

What if I don't have a heart

That's beating and loving,

Instead I'm left with this cold, empty, part?

What if I've actually lost them,

Feelings to be happy,

Replaced with anger, hate, and sadness?

What if I'm not who I thought I was

And now have another side,

A evil twin no one but I hear?

What if I were to slash it quick

And bleed slowly,

But surely to my death?

What if I'm right

And no one will actually care,

That they really do want me gone?

What if life isn't what I want

And can't stand,

Would I call a quits or just leave?

Author's Note

Please reply to how this made you feel. Or any suggestions you have to make it better.

Reviews

[V. P. Trujillo]

I only see grammatical errors, but who cares. This made me feel that so many of our youth are feeling lost. Lost in a dire state of depression, and in many it takes the form of anger, but all too well is it stemming from sadness still. Then let through as a visage of what many would deem as "what's wrong" with our generation; the suicides, cutting, depressing words writ as well as crime, violent or not. But I don't believe anything is wrong inside, but yet..everything. We are not being guided and are not allowed to guide ourselves down a better path. It is hard, perhaps very hard, and especially within the established way of things. However, it is achievable. Many of us are quite sensitive, as any child. But within ourselves we 'know' what we need. Even if it's just a day in the sun, or a strangers kind words, to a fathers attention. Perhaps we cannot provide all of these things for ourselves, but we sure can provide a means to achieve what ultimately...cultivates our growth. (I enjoyed reading this).

[Cecile Wonder]

Thank-you Vincent.

[Stephen T]

a thought provoking piece.....

well done....

[Pete]

I often feel the same way - like people aren't honest and real. Who are we really? I like what you are conveying - so very true. What and whom can we really trust?

[Cecile Wonder]

Exactly, it's even scarier when you lose all the people you are told to trust. It makes life very hard to get through. I have lost faith in mankind, i just hope that one day someone can show me that we aren't all the same. It's why i write. so i don't lose my humanity and dreams. Without dreams, where would this world be?

[Pete]

So true. If you get a chance read my piece called 'Reflections' - similar dark views but then I flip it around.

[Cecile Wonder]

okay, i will

[I Am Svetlana]

I've honestly always felt I had an evil twin inside me. Haha. The only times I really remember being happy are when I was real young. As I got older and continue to get older, I am constantly feeling numb inside...expressing anger when I feel any type of emotion within me. Anger isn't healthy, but I know how it works and what it can lead to...it can consume you and I've truly been consumed by it. I've been doing my best lately to focus on myself and to make myself find something that makes me smile, that makes me feel something other than anger. I don't bother getting mad at those around me, expecting things cause if you expect something from everyone you meet, you just end up getting let down. Just take life one day at a time, that's what my dad always tells me when I am in a bad mood or having a bad day. I've always listened to those words and kept them apart of me...and slowly, you'll find that light at the end of a tunnel. I promise :)

[Cecile Wonder]

I have a bad habit that i trust everyone fully until they prove me wrong, and they always prove me wrong in the end. This makes me so depressed as if i'm not depressed enough as it is. It really sucks when you can't find true happiness anywhere and instead you're just putting on this mask so no one will ask questions. I talk a lot and people always say that they wish i would shut up, but as soon as i stop talking there has to be something wrong with me. Can't i just want to be quiet? Do i have to be depressed or up set to stop talking? sometimes people just irk me sooo bad.

[I Am Svetlana]

In my opinion, you shouldn't stop talking unless YOU want to. Sure, people can and may ask you to be quiet, but why bow down to their commands when you're naturally a talkative person? You sound a lot like me, in all honesty. I talk a lot as well, perhaps shy at first, but talking almost non-stop when around the presence of certain people. You can't stop being who you are, you know? I'm not one to be a people person sometimes, but I do like SOME interaction after a certain while. I'm so used to being by myself that it's probably unhealthy. I am more comfortable around myself because normally around people, I get easily irritated and fed up. I don't like dealing with people constant complaining or happiness sometimes. I put a mask on for most people, happy and energetic, but when by myself, I'm completely different. In my own element. Often, we have to put a smile on to just...keep ourselves safe and protect ourselves. We can't stop being who we are and nor should you let people stop you from being who you are.

[Cecile Wonder]

I agree completely, I wear this mask of mine so often that sometimes I forget that I don't have to pretend all the time. I hate fakes, and my mask makes me feel fake, but this is the only way to protect myself from being hurt once again. I'm so talkative, but I hate watching people be happy when i'm not. that's when I try to ruin their happiness, which isn't fair but, sometimes, I just want someone to feel as bad as me. One thing I have realized though, is that every time I hurt someone else I feel twice as s****y. I can't make anyone feel as bad as me ever because, one, I can't control them, and two, I just get more upset when others are because i'm the type of person who feels they have to save everyone and I go last. I'm not important, they are. That's how it's always been and how it will always be.

[Justin]

that was really amazing, it is set up awesome, some people aren't given a chance by other people because they are different and all that stuff and some people just look at them and pass them by, it sucks but the sad part is it happens, keep up the great work and i will continue to read them :)

[Cecile Wonder]

I agree. I always want to see the best in everyone, but some times that is very hard and I have to wonder. I really hope that someday I will feel the opposite of my poem.

[Todd]

I really like the opening lines. I want to believe not all people are selfish and self-serving but it doesn't always seem that way.

[Cecile Wonder]

Oops, I meant to put this here. I agree. I always want to see the best in everyone, but some times that is very hard and I have to wonder. I really hope that someday I will feel the opposite of my poem.