Shadows

The shadows beneath my eyes

Betray the weeks of sleepless nights,

Concerns voiced about my appearance

Have made me all the more haggard.

 

All of a sudden the realm of society

Seems corrupt and beyond my mind,

While the rest of the world sleeps

I remain awake and alert in the darkness.

 

Embarking on my journey

To a dull and dreary life,

Shadows collect and distort my face;

I am no longer recognizable.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are what is keeping me sane.

 

What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain.

Author's Note

Insomnia + school = poetry? I'll go with it.
Thanks for reading, please leave a review!

**3/19/14: THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of the kind words of support that have been left below, as well as the amount of people who have even glanced over this piece! I appreciate every bit of it.**

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

This reminds me of one of many sleepless nights where I never took the pen to paper to write down what I was feeling, but you did so wonderfully in this piece as I spent the majority of teens years and beyond as an insomniac. Again, similar to the last piece I just read... I don't see how one can truly appreciate or fully understand the pain and emotion behind this unless you live the life style and experience it every night. Some of my best writings came out night, and I hope it has been as helpful for you as it had once been for me in the past. The third stanza triggers memories of where I'd look in the mirror 4AM in the morning after hours of insomnia and not be able to recognize the person I saw looking at back at me. Sometimes it was during those hours where I felt "my truest self" for better and for worse.

"What lay there in the shadows

Are what is keeping me sane.



What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain. "

I cannot even begin to describe just how true those words ring to me, and just how intense the emotions you must have had while writing it down as I imagine you've also lived and experienced it. Thank you for sharing this. Besides being extraordinarily well written and expressed, it's comfortable to know there's others out there having these same emotionally powerful thoughts and feelings. While it's been very emotional reading your pieces, it's been an absolutely pleasure to read. From writing perspective, you're talented with collaborating everything together while incorporating your rhymes to where it doesn't feel forced at all and flows naturally to what is already an powerful piece. I am stickler for rhymes as the majority of my writings includes rhymes and what had initially drew me to this type of poetry. I really enjoy your style, and I think you did a phenomenal job capturing the emotion and pain behind this piece while blending it perfectly with your flow and rhyming style. Excellent read, but even more touching as I can most definitely relate to the type of mindset I imagine was required to write this piece. Fantastic piece all around. I hope continue to keep writing and sharing, these pieces are too good to be kept private although I'd completely understand and respect if you chose to as I had eventually reached that point myself.

[Kristen]

Insomnia is a devil, ay? "The third stanza triggers memories of where I'd look in the mirror 4AM in the morning after hours of insomnia and not be able to recognize the person I saw looking at back at me. Sometimes it was during those hours where I felt "my truest self" for better and for worse." That's exactly what I was trying to convey. I'm not sure anyone who hasn't been there could understand. Insomnia may seem like a trivial thing initially, but it can really destroy you.

This piece has been and will probably continue to be the most pain-inducing I've ever written, for whatever reason. Thank you for complimenting my style; it seems that we share quite a similar style, which I had yet to stumble upon until looking at your writing. We all like familiarity perhaps. ;-)

[Lost, n'MT]

Indeed, but in certain ways it can be when you feel most alive. My creative energy tends to be at its peak during the night hours for whatever reason. But it too has its dark side, and unfortunately that is usually the side that can dominate and take over as demons can creep in our minds. I cannot imagine anyone being able to relate unless they truly experience it. There are many who don't see the night hours, let alone experience how intense it can be when the darkness takes control. Like many things, it's a blessing and a curse, but the curse can be far too haunting and overwhelming that its' what you usually end up remembering the most.

I can definitely understand that as some of my darkest hours (pardon the pun) during the night hour. Yes, I find this to be the most enjoyable style to both write and read, and I felt you executed it very well from a writing standpoint, but clearly this piece goes far beyond the writing technique, flow, and rhyme scheme, it's the emotion behind that takes it another level and I understand why you consider it your most pain-inducing piece even though I haven't really all of your poems yet.

You''re welcome, and I agree, it been my pleasure. : )

[Sarmelendez]

I read this and i can truly relate to this and it was a good write and sad but more good

[Cardinal Robin]

Great deep dig of thoughts while sleepy. In Zen there's a saying,"when you are tired, the enemy is also sleepy". Holding the feelings in allows them to distort our globe into darkest plight. Living in the shadows, one can develop a taste for mastering them, thus we return many times with hunger.
Thought provoking.

[Antonio Valentino]

Embarking on my journey
To a dull and dreary life,
Shadows collect and distort my face;
I am no longer recognizable.


What lay there in the shadows
Are what is keeping me sane.



What lay there in the shadows

Are the memories of pain.


Oh god Kristen, this is the story of my life.. I've been wanting to write a poem about this subject, loved this :))

Antonio

[T. J. Blackburn]

I like this:
"The shadows beneath my eyes
Betray the weeks of sleepless nights,"

I like the rhythm.

[Tony]

Last two stanzas deliver the stark mind of an insomniac. All around captivating write!

[An owl on the moon]

You write with such vivid emotion, trapped in this sense of sleeplessness. What takes over are painful recollections and reflections. Powerful! One can be most grateful for insomnia! (And perhaps a story?)

[Jonathan Ballam]

I'll give you a high five to insomnia. It's something I've also struggled with as an artist, perhaps those fierce images firing off in my mind before I can sleep will never leave?

Great poem. I enjoyed your blend of images, and a rhyme that fell skillfully in place. Nice work ;)

[gravitylava]

awesome, f*****g brilliant work.
i get what you mean with insomnia + school. my best work comes when i'm sitting in front of my textbooks and haven't slept in 2 days.
but this poem is really cool. i love the ending.

[Warick Ten Bohmer]

I re read the last stanza and the last two lines in the third stanza a second time.
I actually believe such repetition would improve your poem. I also think that maybe you might have meant All of a Sudden, instead of Of a sudden? (first line second stanza).

All and all a well written poem, I can relate to it some degree, it being 2am here and me still being awake :L

Anyway I hope your other poetry is just as good or better than this, because I'm pretty certain I'll be reading it.
:)

[Unbreakable]

i found it really deep ;) i can relate becuase evn when i don't have insomnia it's the painful mameories and thinking and over thnking things in bed that keeps me awake. my favourite part was the last 2 lines, because it imeediately reminded me of a very painful memory. well done!!!