Coffee Shop Killer

Ever woken up bound to a pole, wondering who your kidnapper was? Welcome to the last five minutes of his life....

Have you ever woken up, bound to a pole, completely disoriented, and without a clue how you got there? It’s like you opened your eyes, and all of a sudden there’s a hole in your memory. You know something happened between walking out of your office and waking up here, but try as you might, you simply can’t remember.

Welcome to the last five minutes of my life. I’ve been sitting on this floor, cold and wet with sweat, scared as hell as I stared out at the only other thing with me in this concrete hell-hole- a clock. I remember nothing, and I have a large enough bump on the back of my head to have an idea why.

No one has come to see me. I don’t know why I’m here; I haven’t done anything wrong. It’s not like in the movies. I don’t steal people’s money or secretly kill people and get away with it, letting other people take the blame for my work. I have no wife or kids to betray in any way and no disillusioned lovers to speak of, so why was I brought here?

Wait… the wall is opening. Maybe I’m going insane. No. Someone is walking in; it must be a hidden door. I recognize that face. Where have I seen it before? Is that…? It can’t be! She smiles at me, but it seems more like a grimace or maybe a scowl. It’s the lady who works at the coffee shop I go to every morning. She always gives me an extra donut and a little extra whipped cream. Why is she doing this?

She’s speaking to me now, but I’m not listening. I should be, but it’s like I have this static in my head and it blocks out all of the words. I try to focus and catch her telling me how stupid I am to have thought I could cheat on her… I don’t even know her name! She is telling me that it was a stupid move on my part, and that now she needs to kill me. I’m simply not allowed to be unfaithful.

Then, as she leaves, she tosses me a smile like the one she used to give me at the shop and said not to worry, she’d be back soon to finish the job. She’s not one to let a killing take up too much time. I sat staring at that one, single clock, counting the seconds until the end of my life. Then she comes back, and all I can think is that knife in her hand looks really, really sharp.

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I startle awake to an alarm clock as it screamed out my wake up call. I get up, get dressed, and as I’m leaving… I decide to try a new coffee shop today.

The End.

Author's Note

Again, another short story written when we weren't busy in class. Hope you enjoy it! It's a little crazy!

Reviews

[madmocha]

I missed this one. It's entertaining and light (can't say I'm into all the death stuff). Why do we seem to like the 'waking up not knowing who, what, where??? I have one that I started and haven't finished to the point of posting... it reminds me of the feel of this at the start. I'll have to dig it out and do enough to post it. :D Good writing Megan. I would agree with Sarah on the line break at the end. Otherwise, not much to critique. You've got an easy, natural talent. Time and writing will mature it.

[Sarah Doo]

Nice work. It does a good job of walking that thin line between moods---the seriousness of being afraid for your life, but not serious enough that the reader is unpleasently surprised at the ending.

Style wise, it got a little too stream-of-consciousness for me, but that's mostly because I enjoy writing in third person. It works well enough in your piece.
I might take out the line break towards the end; it lets the reader know to expect that something is going to change before moving to the next paragraph. Because it's in first person, maybe the reader should wake up at the same time your character does, if that makes any sense...

[0_o Abbie]

LOVED IT! SO hilarious! It's so funny! I love this kind of thing! :D