Epilogue

   Today is the day I make my mark on history. The words bounce around in my mind as I slip out of my bed onto the stained carpet below. The phrase echoes over and over; today is the day I’ve been waiting for. The timid sun has just begun to peak over a horizon dotted with skyscrapers. The faint droning of the packed New York City streets far below has been drifting through my apartment since my eyes opened. Today is finally here. I slid into the shower and clawed at the temperature gauge until I could withstand the cruel blast of water so early in the morning. Cleanliness and presentability was at the top of my agenda, so I took my time meticulously washing and conditioning my hair. I scrubbed each inch of skin on my body and then scrubbed again to hopefully smell of my soaps flowery fragnance long after the shower. The air was anxious and rightly so as I wrapped a towel around my waist and moved towards the kitchen. The proper breakfast could make or break my aspirations, so I  poured a bowl of generic corn flakes and mixed in sliced banana. Today may start out generic like my corn flakes, but it will end much sweeter.
    I began to shovel the bland flakes into my mouth with one hand and jot down a letter with my other. This letter would later be my path to glory or bagged and tagged as evidence, but it was too early to definitively say which. I finished the cereal and slurped down the watery milk still in the bowl before focusing all of my attention on finishing the letter appropriately. As I leaned back in my chair, the sun wrapping my body in its glow and warmth, I laid down my pen and nod to no one in particular about my job well done. The day was young, and realistically there was no telling what could happen, even though I would have liked to think all of my careful planning and hard work over the past year or so secured my fate.
    Today, I would be born again as a celebrity. The initial shock and fear of such a daunting task wore off after a couple of months, but resurfaced this morning as the anxiety and anticipation set in. What should I wear? Certainly my closet could not support my A-List status, but I would have to make due. Rummaging through the button downs, polos, sweaters, and other articles of clothing with a scoff, I slammed shut my closet and decided to go bigger. I  gingerly reached for my custom-tailored, charcoal suit from the door hangar. It was worn and worldly, so perhaps the suit would accentuate my persona. Perhaps it would simply look like a hand-me-down from the thrift store, but either way it would suit my needs. Realizing I was dressed, fed, and cleaned up, I returned to the kitchen to read over my letter, the letter that would immortalize me, one last time:

To You,

   Did you know there is a time-tested process to losing your mind? It’s true. Great individuals throughout history have exhibited this time honored tradition in all of its glory. Van Gogh painted some of the most memorable works of post-impressionist art ever, but at the same time he lopped off an ear “just because” and eventually blew his brains out. The renowned author Ernest Hemingway is known to have battled depression over the course of his life, but he also believed, in a fit of paranoia, the FBI was monitoring his every move towards the end of his life. More recently, respected actor Tom Cruise went off the deep end as he famously leapt onto Oprah Winfrey’s couch for all of day time television viewers to see.

  These accomplished individuals all allowed their eccentricity to secure a legacy as something more than just an artist, author, or actor. Through their actions, they will not only be remembered for what they did but also for who they were. It’s not enough to just throw a tantrum in the middle of a department store or strip naked in the middle of Times Square while barking like a dog (these were both options in the early planning stages, but I soon realized they were amateur). There is an art to losing your marbles, and if one is to do so successfully, they must execute their “Point Crazy” (I coined this term to describe the exact moment people think you are insane) with precision and expertise.
I wanted to do this right, and I wanted it to be one for the record books.
This is where my story begins.

Sincerely,

"The Dude All Over the News"

 

Author's Note

Few things to consider: 1) Does it have a "hook", something that grabs your interest or intrigues you to read further?
2) As you read, please feel free to point out grammar issues, tense issues, and so on.
3) Just general thoughts and feedback. I'm hoping to write this through to completion!