A Story by Ricky

This piece was for my short story class at university and has been revised from its original draft. Hope you enjoy

The report from Officer Roberts was this, “When I reached the Nakano residence all entryways were opened without sign of B&E.” Roberts was sent to settle a domestic violence report, dispatch reports screams from Mrs. Nakano mentioning a doll. When he entered he claimed the lights were off, debris was everywhere and there was no sign of anyone. In a personal report Robert claimed his instincts were screaming for him to leave. The officer shined his light down the hall discovering the doll mentioned by Mrs. Nakano, when he inspected it he stated it was a broken Japanese doll in a red dress. Roberts hysterically claimed that the doll blinked at him with realistic eyes and it, the doll, wanted to play hide and seek with him counting in Japanese.

When Roberts ran for the door he says it slammed in his face followed by childish giggles. He says the same occurred with the windows, he also said that every time he tried to escape the doll would get louder and closer. The officer also reported that “Something” was distorting his face, by scrunching and stretching it. Roberts was in tears when he told fellow officers that he felt like he was being tapped and pushed all over his body. Eventually Officer Roberts discharged his weapon into the door knob and sprinted to his vehicle. An examination of his weapon shows he fired the whole of his clip before he left the residence. Recommend mental evaluation of Officer Roberts.

© 2019 Ricky

Author's Note

Feel free to critique.

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Well, you did ask, but this will sting a bit:

This, i'm afraid, isn't a story as the publishing industry views it. It's not a matter of how well it's written, or your talent and potential. It's that like pretty much all hopeful writers—including me, when I began recording my own stories—you're using the writing skills you were given in your grade-school days, and assume that''s what everyone uses.

Problem is, the vast majority of your writing assignments in school were for reports and essays. And after twelve years of that you're pretty good at writing reports and essays, which have as their goal, informing the reader.

Problem is, no one reads fiction to be informed as to the progression of events. The goal of fiction is to involve the reader emotionally, something our teachers never mentioned. So, given that the profession is called Fiction-Writer, and the skill you were given is called writing, you naturally assumed that all you need to write fiction is your existing writing skills, a good story idea, and "natural talent."

If only.

And forget that creative writing class you probably took. Fiction writing is a profession, and no way in hell can reading a chapter on writing fiction, then writing a story that's critiqued by classmates who know no more about writing than you do, teach you even a fraction of what you need to write it.

The short version: This reads like a report because it was written with report writing skills. It's not your fault, and you have LOTS of company, but still, unless you acquire the skills of the working fiction writer, everything you write will read like a report.

The good news is that the library's fiction writing section has lots of books on the subject, and they contain the views of pros in publishing, writing, and teaching. And, if you are meant to be a writer you'll find the learning fun. And if not? Well, you've learned something important. So it's win/win.

I know this was pretty far from what you were hoping to hear, but I thought you'd want to know.

Posted 2 Months Ago


2 Months Ago

Thank you for your input, how do you think that I can improve upon my writing? I know you mentioned .. read more

2 Months Ago

Improve? You're thinking of it it terms of story—the plot. But no one reads fiction for: This happ.. read more

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1 Review
Added on October 2, 2019
Last Updated on October 2, 2019



Seattle, WA

I am a young ambitious man who has always been fascinated in telling stories. And unlike the rest of my family who can draw very artistically i cannot so writing is as best as i can in displaying what.. more..

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A Chapter by Ricky