Domestic at Yoda's

the sound of keys fumbling around, the squeak of a door attempting to sneak open without a sound, and a light flicks on to reveal yoda sitting at a table that is set to the nines. in the middle of two blown out candles, a withered up meatloaf and various bowls of potatoes and salad. in front of yoda, who is smoking a cigarette, is a bottle of jack daniels that is three quarters empty. a stunned look on the face of a beautiful, sneaky, blonde woman whose shirt is buttoned crooked.

"on time you are not," he quivers as he takes a drag, "dinner we were supposed to have."

"i was at sally's, yoda. god you are so controlling!," she screams as she takes off her shoes and makes her way toward the bedroom.

"over I declare this marriage!," he mumbles as he pulls out his lightsaber. he runs throughout the house slashing the furniture and decor with his saber while she takes refuge in the bathroom. she leans up against the bathroom door and hollers, "i hate when you get like this! do you want the stormtroopers over here again?"

her threats of stormtrooper interference become all too real as a swat team forces their way into the house. after taking out a dozen or so of them, his wife, who can only hear the commotion through the door, begins barking out drunken orders to the stormtroopers. "he didn't do anything!," she yells. she exits the bathroom to his aid. surrounded, yoda takes her by the arm and carries her to the roof where a hostage negotiator, after several hours conversing, takes him down with a stun gun. his wife has to be held back as she tries to comfort him as he is being dragged in cuffs to a waiting police cruiser.

seeing her through the window of the cruiser, a tear runs down yoda's cheek. he is transported to jail and pays a small fine.