Something In Your Eyes

Burning With Fire To Find The Something In You

Lost In Those Deep Ardent Eyes

Out Of My Senses

Finding A Path To Get In You

In The Ocean Of Blue

                         

A Flame That Never Dies

Between These Fiery Eyes

That No Strength Can Cool Down

Set Ablaze In The Smiles Of Heaven

                             

To Be Held In Your Den

Treasured As Your Possesion

Captured In The Essence Of Desire

Burning With Fire

 

Finding The Something I have Been Looking For

Craving For More

Batting Not An Eyelid

The Something In You Found

Author's Note

Please Review. Appreciations and criticisms welcome. Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it!

Reviews

[Bear]

First let me say that writing in English when it is not your native language is the hardest thing to do, we have so many words that sound the same but have different meanings, so you are a very brave individual :~) It shows that you have a strong poetic sense just by reading your first line. I use to teach poetry so I am going to ask you some questions about your poem, first question; what do you mean (out of my senses)? This is a very powerful statement but it is open to interpretation, you want me the reader to have the same idea of the meaning as you and to do that I the reader needs more information.
Next question; are you really only turning 14? This read with the maturity of a much older writer, just be careful you don't grow up to fast and miss out on all the childhood trauma that we poets use for inspiration to write about for the rest of our lives. I look forward to reading more of your work as time lets me, it will be interesting to see where poetry takes you.

[Rainslover]

Thanks you so much! Out of my senses- I myself wasn't quite sure about it.Lol. However it means that she was no more in her control, totally out of control, and she was in him.
Yeah, I am turning 14! Nope, I won't do that. Its just that I have dreams, fantasies and desire of being a great poet and writer one day! And some poems here I have written(not this one.Lol.) are of the same. Its actually from them that I really got inspiration to write. In my lower classes and maybe even now I was a bit isolated, there were a few problems in my life, even now so thats when writing is of great help to me! They make me happy!
You were a poetry teacher! Thats great! Would love to have some lessons from you.Lol. :)

[Bear]

You might want to check out my lessons in poetry page then http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/BearMage/1501893/

[Emily]

Vary nice wording and meaning!
Keep it up!!

[Rainslover]

Thank You!

[ShowtunesGiraffe]

Good job using descriptive words to capture emotion. It's a lovely but deep poem.

[Rainslover]

Thank You! That's what I love- depth! I am happy that you could feel the depth in the poem!

[Noa Greenberg]

I can relate to this, very well done poetry. Excellent job!

[Rainslover]

Thank you so much!

[Olivia F. B]

Something beautiful and easy to relate to.

[Rainslover]

Thank You!

[E.L. Debbage]

Beautiful poem. Is there a reason each word is capitalized? x

[Rainslover]

Thank You! Well, no, but it may just be that every word has still more depth in it.Lol. But frankly it just came out- no reasons for it.

[vspjaguar]

you show great promise for a 13 year old, I am sure you will become a promising poet in the future. Lovely poem, keep up the good work. *thumbs up*

[Rainslover]

Thank you so much for the compliment! Yeah! I want to be a writer and poet. Hope I be one. Thanks!