SHELL SHOCK

The song is VERY powerful PLEASE listen to it! :)

My poor legs are cramped so badly and I
If I move from this ditch I know I will die,
I can't look at the Private's white face any more.
The hole in his gut gazing up at the sky.
He stopped his screaming but ten minutes before.

Filthy face, and bloody too, from earth that blooms
When Howitzers speak in dull thumps and loud booms,
Pea shooters, the Sergeant nearby had growled,
If peas grew as large as cabbages and howled,
From large metal bores death has sprayed,
As they flew, carving craters dug deep as graves.

Clouds tatter above me like clothes left to dry,
My hands won't stop shaking, no tears left to cry.
The minutes drag slowly as I hide from death,
I gasp, my ribs aching, from holding in breath.

If I move from this ditch I will die.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Ruth]

Damned if they did, damned if they didn't, upsetting and makes me furious that such loss of life had to be experienced, Goddess alone knows how they felt....excellent piece x

[s y e]

Wow Ray, I have only read a few of your works but I am falling in love with them, I am a huge fan of yours already. The imagery in this is outstanding and the whole write in itself is perfection. I loved it.

[Michael Stevens]

What a vision you paint with words!

[MsJewel]

You have the wonderful ability to draw the reader into your words. I felt like I was there - and terrified! Truly an amazing poem by a stellar poet!

:) Julie

[Raymond Federle]

Thank you Jules! ;)

[MsJewel]

My pleasure!

[RealistMe]

Even though I'm not a fan of rhyming poems, this has a nice amount of detail and tone.

[Praveeta]

Very powerful write indeed.

[Baby Ricochet]

Sounds like WWI in France. Good one Raymond.

[Pryde Foltz]

Clouds tatter above me like clothes left to dry,
My hands won't stop shaking, no tears left to cry.
The minutes drag slowly as I hide from death,
I gasp, my ribs aching, from holding in breath.

If I move from this ditch I will die.

You capture terror and death here with a masterful hand.

[Sue Hart]

It's a graphic picture of war. Stories heard long ago during the VN war. You wrote it well, Raymond. It'll give me nightmares. ;(

[R. L. Hill]

Omg......This gave me chills.