Saddest excuse for a joke

Repetitive are my many mistakes. Over and over again I fall over my own misinterpreted intentions. 

In these late hours all I can hear is the screaming inside my head. Inaudible static buzzing around my brain. It's damn near paralyzing. Clairvoyant thoughts are impossible to conjure and my motor skill fail me. Flashes of faint memories dart past my eyes. 

Flesh, sweat, blood, tears, soft lips, and calm and fierce glances. 

My want to belt obscenities into the night air are stifled by my own cowardice. 

"Just stay quiet until the noise inside my head dies down. Just wait for fatigue to guide sleep into place." These are the phrases I repeat, over and over again. 

I can't even cry, not a sorrowful tear to be shed at all. 

And yet I am so sad, all the time, sad, sad, and sadder still. 

How dare I call myself strong? 

How dare I even say a word to others about strength? 

I am mot even a joke, for jokes are funny and this is just sad... 

-RdotInc.- "The man everyone remembered they'd forgot."