Freakshow and Me

Freakshow and Me

A Poem by ReadsAtDances
"

How a person with an addiction may see themselves. Could be applied to other situations though. Hope you like it!

"
Me and Freakshow
Freakshow and Me
We are about as close as close can be.

Me and Freakshow
Freakshow and Me.
She loves the power
she has over me.
I despise her, however,
and long to be free.

Me and Freakshow
Freakshow and Me.
She is always there,
it's easy to see.
Ruining my day,
kidnapping my glee.

Me and Freakshow
Freakshow and Me.
She comes to me when I am alone
so we are more likely to agree.
She steals my peace of mind,
assures that I can't be carefree.

Me and Freakshow
Freakshow and Me
We are as close as close can be

Because

I am Freakshow
and
Freakshow is me.

© 2015 ReadsAtDances


Author's Note

ReadsAtDances
Taking a trip down to the darker side of poetry. I haven't written much like this, so advice and reviews would be appreciated

My Review

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Featured Review

Very nice. The repetition works for me, as this seems to be one of the elements of addiction - not escaping it but the over and over again return.

I wonder, though - just an idea to toss your way. It really works the way you've written, but I seem to want to linger in the fourth stanza and experiment. I thought of, "She comes to me when I am alone/so we are more inclined to agree./She robs me of peace of mind/and abducts my tranquility". There isn't any need to adjust, though - these are just random thoughts. I like this. The structure works for me, the use of repetition and, yes, there is a sing-song aspect to it. Nicely done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Wow! Thank you for wonderful review! I love the verse you wrote, it flows much nicer than the fourth.. read more



Reviews

Happened across this a while ago and have been meaning to leave a comment.

An interesting exploration of addiction, but I initially read it as a more general examination of self-loathing. I liked Direct Tangent's ideas about repetition, routine and ritual as a part of addiction, and I agree with them that you could continue to experiment with this. But I also like the fact that this is raw, from the heart, and I think very much in the moment, so would say perhaps best not to mess with it too much!

Also as Jacob erin-cilberto said I felt it meant something to me because I could interpret 'freakshow' however I wanted and insert my own demons. Overall, I really liked it and it made me think.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the great review and feedback! It is greatly appreciated
Great poem! I love the repetition, it adds depth to the poem and commands attention well. Overall, your poem is very well written, the metaphor is excellent and eye catching. I like how you've made the addiction into a 'Freakshow' because the results of addiction can be like one. As said, it's very eye-catching, the title is the reason I chose to read this poem over your others.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for the review and kind words!
i especially like that you never actually name it...that way we can put on our own freakshow...

our own addictions or demons can be penciled in...so the poem is universal, even with the constant pronoun reference of "me."

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind and thought provoking review!
Very good, the repetition adds to the impact, at least for me!

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks for the review and feedback! :)
Very nice. The repetition works for me, as this seems to be one of the elements of addiction - not escaping it but the over and over again return.

I wonder, though - just an idea to toss your way. It really works the way you've written, but I seem to want to linger in the fourth stanza and experiment. I thought of, "She comes to me when I am alone/so we are more inclined to agree./She robs me of peace of mind/and abducts my tranquility". There isn't any need to adjust, though - these are just random thoughts. I like this. The structure works for me, the use of repetition and, yes, there is a sing-song aspect to it. Nicely done.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Wow! Thank you for wonderful review! I love the verse you wrote, it flows much nicer than the fourth.. read more
I like the use of repetition. It has a catchy ring to it, definitely sticks in your head! The rhyme scheme is also good.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks! I wanted it to read kind of sing-songy, but wasn't sure if that feel carried through the who.. read more
Really different...addiction is a hard one, but I like what you have done here. Really does steal your peace of mind. Like that line a lot. The repetition works.

Posted 3 Years Ago


ReadsAtDances

3 Years Ago

Thanks so much for the review! I wondered if the repetition was too frequent, but thanks for the pos.. read more

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Added on November 29, 2015
Last Updated on November 29, 2015

Author

ReadsAtDances
ReadsAtDances

A corn field in, IA



About
Hi! I love to read, and I really want to work on improving my writing. Disclaimer: I don't actually read at dances, as the name implies, but if you get the book reference, I definitely want to talk to.. more..

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