Untitled Story Chapter Two

John sat in his car, taking a deep drag off his cigarette.  He never though in a million years he’d stumble across a body during his morning jog.  A man in a suit came up to him.  He was tall with short brown hair, neatly combed to the side.  He had black sunglasses on and a smirk that told you that he was surefooted.  His black loafers were speckled with brown sand.  

 

“Mr. Holdings? I’m Detective Brooks, are you doing okay?” he asked.

 

“With all due respect, how the hell would you feel if you found a woman’s body, mauled up by the rocks?” he said.

 

 John took another drag from his cigarette. What kind of question was that? he thought.  Did he think it was just some ordinary thing, to find a woman in the surf?

  

“Mr. Holdings, there’s no reason to be defensive.  Can I ask you a few questions?”

 

“Sure, the cigarette smoke isn’t bothering you is it?” John asked.

 

“No sir,” Brooks said with a smile, “can you start by telling me about your morning, for example, what you did up the time you found the woman’s body?”

 

John sucked in the sweet fumes from his cigarette and slowly exhaled.

 

“I woke up this morning, showered and ate breakfast.  After getting into my jogging clothes, I headed out to the beach.  I usually go about three miles before I’m done.  I’d been jogging for about a mile when I got to the rocks where the surf is really rough.  Sometimes, if I’m feeling a bit winded, I’ll stop there and rest.”

 

John took another slow drag from his cigarette before continuing.

 

“Today was one of those days where I stopped to rest.  I noticed something in the rocks.  To me it looked like a bag getting tossed around.  I went closer to look and it and I saw hair.  Brown hair.  A huge wave crashed over the place I’d been looking and that’s when I saw her face.  Bruised to hell, gashes along her forehead.”

 

John stopped and shivered.  A hard lump began to form in his throat and he slowly swallowed it back to keep from puking.  He dropped the cigarette butt onto the ground and put it out with his shoe.

 

“That’s all there is to my morning,” he said.

 

Detective Brooks looked at him and smiled. “Must have been rough finding her.  I’m sorry that you had to come across such a horrific scene.  Here’s my card.  If you think of anything else, please don’t hesitate to call me.”

  

John took his card.  “Sure thing,” he said.

  

Brooks turned and walked back towards the yellow crime scene tape.  John leaned back into his seat and looked at the business card.

 

“Call if I can think of anything else?” John said.  “What else is there to remember?”

 

He tossed the card onto the seat next to him and started his car.  He needed to get home and have himself a stiff drink.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Brooks watched John the Jogger drive out of the parking lot.  By now the coroners had the woman’s body out the surf and onto a gurney.  He walked over to them and pulled the sheet down revealing her face.  There was a long, gaping gash across her forehead, no doubt as a result of impact from the fall onto the rocks.  Her skin was an ashen grey and slightly puffy from being exposed to water for a long period of time. Her jaw seemed a little contorted making her mouth look like it was grinning.  She must have been a beautiful woman before this he thought.  

 

He glanced up at the cliff, not far from where her body was found and saw some of his people milling about searching, looking for clues as to why this woman would kill herself.  He covered her face and motioned for the medics to take her.

Reviews

[Mel Stevens]

He never though in a million years he’d stumble across a body during his morning jog. –‘though’ should be ‘thought’

“No sir,” Brooks said with a smile, -change comma to a period. You ended with an action

She must have been a beautiful woman before this he thought. –comma after ‘this’

What about her car? If it was parked at the top, why have the police not found it?

Not a lot of corrections for this chapter. Still, I would think about combining the two into one chapter. This feels more like a section. You have plenty of ways to take this story, don’t lose it.