the refusal

i refuse standing in your life as the second girl,who's literally invisible,who doesn't even exist in the eye of the whole world,just like a sin that you want to hide.

i refuse to accept the thought of a girl,telling you how much she loves you,miss you, the idea of a girl touching you,kissing you and hugging you makes me completely devastated,especially the fact that she has power on you.

i refuse thinking that you are speaking intimately to another girl,even if you are acting and telling lies to her,i just can't handle it.

i refuse being a big lier,who's always throwing lies to every single person,even the closest,only to protect your relation with the other girl,sometimes these lies get to my head and convaince me that all this story is a big lie.

i refuse feeling like a hore, a b***h who's kissing and flirting with an engaged men.

i refuse feeling umpewered by your decisions, especially having no solution to get through my love for you,not only that but also the feeling of a week girl who i have never been before.

i refuse the truth,the truth that reveal the pain of you,you are not mine,however i'm totally yours.

i refuse the fact that you aren't doing anything to change this situation, especially when no one else is obliging you to be with her.

well, i feel so stupid by letting you change my life to this ugly way, because you destroyed me and my life too.

however, i can't unlove you, not even forget you.

i know that one day i will leave you and start fresh with someone else, but i will do it not for me,it will be for you ton know that you are losing me day by day, i will do it for one wish,the wish that you will fix your life and come again to me.