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Just a note to various readers looking at this, I was asked to review this before it was finished.

So, this story kind of reminds me of the show "Dead Like Me," only not nearly so whimsical and set to a fantasy world. You have a very interesting start and pose a lot of questions that need answering. I can't really say much about the plot because it's still in its infancy and trying to take form.

As far as technical stuff goes, there are a lot of run-on sentences and a fair amount of awkward choices of words, especially in description. In normal speech, the probably sound find, but I found myself often having to go back and reread the same sentence or paragraph over again to make sure I got the idea right.

I like that your rangers have a lot of boyish character to them. Very different from the gritty, dark characters that generally support the protagonist.

I'd love to hear more about this story.

Posted 12 Years Ago